Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Monday, December 15, 2014

Answering the Hard Questions Can Help You Make A Powerful Commitment

Susan Piver, Guest Author

For those of us contemplating marriage in the new millennium, a conscious effort is required to create a shared vision. Nothing can be taken for granted. There are no cultural models for us to look to. Often traditional religious values can’t support our relationship. For many of us, our divorced parents can’t offer a model to emulate. TV, movies, music; they’re all about easy solutions, romantic escapades, youthful passion. How, then, do we create an adult view of relationships, one that includes passion and commitment, the fullness of who each person is and can be?

HardQuestionsThere is no technique, no gimmick, no class, no easy answer. The solution, the only solution, is knowing and revealing yourself and receiving your pratner – relentlessly, and with great skill. My book, “The Hard Questions: 100 Questions to Ask Before You Say ‘I Do’” helps create a shared view of life and a deeper knowledge or your self and your beloved. It can be used throughout the life of a relationship; answering these questions ten years into a relationship is as valuable as answering them ten months into it. The hard questions can help lead to a deeper level of intimacy.

For many of us, religion is something that we observe when someone is born, marries or dies. Suddenly, as such moments, the religion you were raised with, the traditions your family may have followed, become vitally important.

Any impulse your beloved may have to devalue or ignore such traditions can become very, very hurtful. It’s important to examine what you will do, if anything, to mark the passages of life. If you are married, it is likely you encountered this curious arousal of attachment to tradition while planning the marriage ceremony.

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For more info, click book cover!

Also, for many of us, spirituality has become increasingly important in our day-to-day lives. Many people have “practices”; yoga, meditation, communal gatherings, discussion groups, that are central to their lives. It is important to share such practices with your beloved! If so, why? If not, why not? And what happens when one partner holds childhood religious traditions dear while the other has created a unique spiritual practice, totally apart from the religion her or she grew up with? How are both belief systems honored and blended under one roof?

1. Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?

2. Do we share a spiritual practice such as meditation, yoga or some other type of “non-traditional” observance? If not, would adding such a practice enrich our lives together?

3. Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? If the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other’s choices?

4. What does each desire of the other in terms of support and/or participation in the other’s practice?

5. How do we mark births and deaths within our family?

6. What place do spiritual and/or religious beliefs play in our home and home life?

7. Do we observe any spiritual rituals? Celebrate any religious holidays? Together? Separately?

Larry’s NOTE: Getting married? You would be wise to purchase this helpful book, “The Hard Questions: 100 Questions to Ask Before You Say ‘I Do’!” The questions include topics like, money, work, sex, health & food, family, home and more. It is a simple, yet profound relationship tool that can forge and strengthen lasting, intimate bonds between engaged couples, newly-weds, and all those in long term relationships. I highly recommend it!

BONUS Articles: Religion vs. Spirituality
Spirituality ~ Take Two
The Benefits of Integrating Spirituality into Your Daily Life
Holy! Holy! Holy!
A Prayer of Thanksgiving
Vows, Parents & Religion: Conundrum!

Susan_PiverCopyright © 2014 – Susan Piver. Adapted from Susan’s book. Susan Piver is the former President of Upaya Recordings, where she developed CD/Book packages with authors Andrew Weil, M.D., Deepak Chopra and Thomas Moore. She currently runs Padma Projects, a production company that creates CD/Books. To learn more about answering the Hard Questions, visit, SusanPiver.com.

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Click for Larry’s Wedding Website!

Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Lots of Wedding Ideas on: Larry’s Pinterest Page

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Monday, April 8, 2013

“That’s Just WRONG!!”

Lately I have had numerous calls looking for a last-minute wedding officiant to perform the bride and groom’s wedding ceremony. If a few cases I was able to help, but most of the time I scramble to try to help them find another wedding officiant.

About 90% of the time it’s because a friend of the bride and groom wanted to perform the ceremony, usually for free, and at the last minute got cold feet and backed out!

That’s just wrong!

There are two reasons it’s wrong. First, it’s wrong for the bride and groom to fall for a “freebee” ceremony especially since the ceremony “is” the wedding. To give the honor to someone who has never performed a wedding ceremony; someone who is inexperienced, on the most special day in their lives is just wrong.

The second reason: It’s just wrong for anyone – usually a relative – to beg the bride and groom to allow them to perform the ceremony and to accept this awesome responsibility and then back out at the last minute because their nerves got the best of them. That’s just wrong!

The other 10% of the calls come because a minister, usually of their church, booked the wedding ceremony and for various reasons could not perform the ceremony leaving them scrambling for a wedding officiant at the last minute. The least they could do is to provide an experienced assistant minister to fill in for them.

That’s just wrong, too!

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Larry James performing his “romantic” wedding ceremony! Click photo for “Rave Review” from Larry’s bride’s & grooms!

As I said before, the ceremony IS the wedding! It should only be entrusted to an experienced full-time professional wedding officiant. If you want to hear some horror stories, give me a call. I’ve heard plenty.

Note: Congratulations to Mr. & Mrs. Mahmoud Sallam. Dana Vogel & Mahmoud Sallam were married at 3 p.m., Thursday, December 30, 2010 @ Val Vista Lakes, Gilbert, AZ. Their close family friend was going to do their wedding ceremony and backed out 3 days before their wedding. I met with Dana & Mahmoud the day before the wedding and performed my “romantic” wedding ceremony for them the following day.

A friend who wants to perform your wedding ceremony may have the best of intentions when it comes to your wedding, but if this is a person who is known for being late, forgetting about events, or not being reliable or most of all, have never performed a wedding ceremony, they are the wrong person to choose. Most crack under pressure and may not be able to fairly judge whether or not they’ll be up for the task on your big day.

There are certain legal restrictions that wedding officiants must follow. In the heady days of planning a wedding, legal nuances can be the last thing on a couples’ minds. The laws in each state are different. You must be sure they are following the letter of the law so that later you don’t discover that your wedding was never a legal ceremony. Experienced wedding officiants know the rules. They also needs to know how to coordinate the wedding processional, write the ceremony, handle props, and assist the bride and groom in making decisions about what needs to be included in the ceremony. Often when brides and grooms start to realize all that is involved they start leaning toward the professional officiant.

A father of the bride or groom should be off the list. Why? Because they should be walking the bride down the aisle, then with their wife sitting on the front seat enjoying the ceremony. The same goes for favorite uncles, aunts, close friends, and siblings.

“Much can go wrong in the delivery of your wedding ceremony (when performed by a family friend). Even those who are proficient speakers under different circumstances may become rattled at the everyday glitches that can crop up in a wedding ceremony. Consider how your friend will do if the groom becomes emotional, the bride flubs her vows, the flower girl is whining, the musicians play the wrong selection, inclement weather conditions suddenly arise for your outdoor wedding, your feuding divorced parents refuse to sit next to one another, the microphone dies mid-sentence, or someone faints. Handling these situations requires a special set of skills. Professional officiants have “been there, done that” with every situation above and more!” – Maureen Thomson

The amateur officiant is rarely ever able to present a plan of the important steps of the wedding ceremony to the bride and groom. Why? Because they don’t know. Officiant planning and coordination with wedding vendors is also crucial to the bride, groom, and those participating in the wedding. In Arizona there are only two things that must be in the wedding ceremony to make it legal. Does your friend know what they are? Brides and grooms often have different religious upbringing and beliefs. How will your friend handle that without alienating the guest’s faith?

How about Inter-ethnic marriages? Are they familiar with cultural rituals that can be added to the ceremony? Keep in mind the type of ceremony you wish to have, and whether or not the person you want to solemnize it is articulate and capable of handling something so important.

There is nothing binding to stop your friend from changing his or her mind as the big day approaches. This happens all the time as people get cold feet or egos start to conflict between the couple and the officiating friend.

Just because a family friend volunteers to do your ceremony is no reason for you to give in because you are afraid you will hurt their feelings. Be couragous! Say, “No, and thank you for asking. We are going to hire a full-time wedding officiant!” (Ask them to do a special reading for you during the ceremony and then hire a professional). Even those who are proficient speakers under different circumstances may become rattled at the everyday glitches that can crop up in a wedding ceremony. If they do get a bad case of the nerves, have they provided for someone to take their place?

An experienced wedding officiant sets the tone for the celebration to come including the rest of your wedding day. They have the ability to handle a myriad of circumstances that can creep up on your big day. Guests come to a wedding to honor the bride and groom and to be inspired by the words of the wedding officiant.

To gamble on a friend to perform your wedding ceremony… That’s just wrong!

BONUS Article: No Thanks! A Family Friend Will Perform Our Wedding Ceremony
Who will perform your wedding ceremony?

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Monday, January 14, 2013

Is a Memorable Wedding Officiant Worth the Splurge?

Naturally… “I” would think so. I am an award winning Wedding Officiant.

HEARTthank-yous1Memorable? My former wedding clients think so. Rave reviews!

A special “Thank you” to them!

How do I know… they send me LoveNotes and write endorsements on WeddingWire.com, talk about me on The Knot and other social media sites.

Sad as it is to say, most of the wedding details that you work so hard on will be mere memories the next day. Some you won’t even remember. The food will be eaten, the dress put away, the monogrammed napkins crumpled, the flowers wilted and the party of the year – your reception (intended to celebrate the wedding ceremony) – will be a distance memory. Be smart. The reception is not the most memorable part of a wedding! Even the guests will tell you that. Sure, it’s great to have a terrific party but when you hire the right wedding officiant, the buzz at the reception should be about the wonderful wedding ceremony.

Don’t hire the first wedding officiant you find online. Take the time to find the right wedding officiant. I promise… it will be worth it.

When asked what most brides and grooms splurge on, seldom does “Wedding Officiant” even make the list. Trends come and go, but your wedding is all about the “wedding ceremony.” If hiring the best wedding officiant stretches your budget, make some cuts in other places. I wish could tell you how many of the brides and grooms that I have talked with that have either hired their “friend” – who backed out at the last minute or had never performed a wedding ceremony – or they hired the “cheapest” officiant they could find and lived to regret it.

mcneilI’ve seen couples splurge on over-the top cakes, a Hummer limousine, a killer honeymoon, or flowers galore. There is nothing wrong with that if you have bags of bucks. Don’t skimp on your wedding officiant. It never ceases to amaze me when someone calls and says, “So-and-so across town only charges $_____!” Comparing prices will seldom get you the right wedding officiant for your wedding. The price should not be the only determining factor. Comparing the words in their wedding ceremony, their willingness to change what you don’t like and their wedding experience will.

I’ve built my wedding career on integrity as a wedding officiant and by demonstrating the “Lagniappe Principle” to every client. Lagniappe has been defined as: an unexpected or indirect benefit or, giving what your clients pay for… and then some. Most are surprised at the level of knowledge and experience that I represent when we first meet. I can honestly say that I have never had a bride and groom who has complained that I didn’t give them much more than they expected. Many refer to the numerous awards I have won and this blog as a example, which – as of this writing – has more than 330 articles, tips, suggestions, add-on ceremonies, etc., about weddings.

weddingwire2013I know you are busy planning the party, but I ask you to remember the most important part of the day – the wedding ceremony. Remember this: “Your wedding ceremony IS your wedding!” If anything from your wedding day is going to be permanently etched on your brains, it’s got to be the moment you look into each other’s eyes and exchange your wedding vows. The ceremony is the reason you are planning this elaborate bash, right? Consider a wedding officiant who will promise to respect your specific wishes and beliefs; vows, readings and who can artfully guide your guests to a better understanding of you as a couple.

Don’t wait until the last minute to book your wedding officiant. The choice wedding dates for the really good ones go fast!

Being budget-conscious is a good thing and the truth is… sometimes the best wedding officiants costs more. Why? Because brides and grooms say they are worth it. I know I am not the most inexpensive wedding officiant, but my former brides and grooms say I am the best! I agree. 😉 You can always find someone cheaper… but better? Never!

Remember, your wedding ceremony is much more than just saying, “I do!”

So, what’s your wedding day splurge going to be?

Suggested reading: Larry’s “Romantic” Wedding Ceremony! ~ This ceremony has a touch of traditional with a few modern twists, a slight Spiritual tint (or not! – your choice) and an emphasis on lots of love and romance! In other words, anything goes – with your approval, of course!

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Tempted to go to a Justice of the Peace? Think Again!

I wouldn’t recommend a JP if you want a memorable wedding ceremony. If you were going to call a Justice of the Peace, you get a cheap wedding, a civil ceremony that lasts a few minutes, an official pronouncement and that’s about it! Not very memorable for such an important day in your life.

KissnGoPROMOAs a full-time, professional Wedding Officiant, I often get phone calls asking if I am a Justice of the Peace. My truthful answer is always, “No.” However, here is your opportunity to get a very special, quick, intimate, affordable and legal “romantic” wedding ceremony that far exceeds the reach of an officer of the court. It’s also a terrific idea if you are thinking of eloping.

Large fancy weddings are very expensive… beautiful, memorable and more, but expensive. On average, couples who live in Maricopa County, AZ (the Greater Phoenix area) spend between $19,175 and $31,959 on their wedding. You should expect to pay, on average, 50% to 100%+ more when choosing well-experienced professionals, designer labels, popular event locations, unique or custom products and services. The amount you pay may also be affected by the number of guests you invite.

If you are looking for a quick way to save some $$$s, I have created a very special for those of you who just want to get married and would normally call a Justice of the Peace.

My “romantic” wedding ceremony is a great Justice of the Peace alternative. AND you don’t have to go through a metal detector and security screeners to get to the JP. It’s call a “Kiss ‘n Go” romantic wedding ceremony.

Here’s what you get with a Larry James “Kiss ‘n Go” Ceremony:

• A speedy 10 minute (or less – your choice) “romantic” wedding ceremony (no customization, no sand ceremony, extras, etc.)
• A copy of the ceremony on parchment paper as a keepsake
• A “
Relationship Coaching Certificate” (Value: $120.00)
• A Marriage Certificate from Larry James
• One digital photo taken after the wedding and sent by e-mail.
• Larry James will register your marriage license with the County Court Clerk the first business day after your ceremony
• And that’s it!

Here is what you need to do:

• Show up (on time)! I will tell you where we will meet.
• Provide the Marriage License
• Provide two witnesses (AZ law says: Must be 18 year of age or older)
• Limit your wedding party to no more than 4 people (plus the Bride and Groom)
• Bring the wedding rings (not required)
• Stand together for the ceremony – You may write some of your own vows
• Sign the marriage license with 2 witnesses
• Kiss ‘n Go!

My “Kiss ‘n Go” Ceremony is a limited offer and is subject to my availability. I am often available on short notice on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and sometimes on Thursdays. Weddings on Friday, Saturday and Sundays are limited and reserved for large weddings at Hotels and Resorts.

This offer is not available at hotels, resorts or wedding venues, on holidays, on special days (e.g., 12/12/12, Valentine’s Day, etc.) or on weekends. Friday, Saturday and Sundays are reserved for weddings at Hotels and Resorts.

CoupleKissingNo rehearsal is necessary. You will set up your wedding by telephone (no meeting). Casual dress (your option). No Covenant Marriage Ceremonies with this offer. The wedding will be in Scottsdale, AZ only.

Larry’s NOTE: Most of my weddings are at Hotels and Resorts. If you will be having a wedding at a Hotel or Resort, give me a call. I can give you lots of great ideas to make your wedding and your wedding ceremony something that your guests will be talking about for years to come. Really! These ceremonies have a touch of traditional with a few modern twists, a slight Spiritual tint (or not!) and an emphasis on lots of love and romance! It is my most popular ceremony. It is always customized to fit your specific needs. Anything goes! It’s “your” day and you get to say what is in your ceremony! The “romance” is in the details!

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Nervous About the Big Day? Feeling Faint? Here’s What to Do.

Time to rise and shine! It’s your wedding day! Take a few deep breaths and take a couple of cat-like stretches. There is a lot going on today so let’s begin by getting rid of any anxiety or nervousness you may have that might affect you during the ceremony. You might have butterflies in your stomach and your legs may feel like they are turning to jelly.

It is only normal for the bride and groom to fell a bit nervous before the wedding. Nervousness is a state of mind: it occurs because of unpleasant thoughts, fears and worries that plague a person. A little nervousness can give you an edge. It can give you the energy you need to dig deep and do a really good job. Accept your nervousness. It doesn’t need to paralyze you.

Diminish all the negative thoughts that dwell in your head, and stop thinking about nervousness itself. What you think about and speak about, you bring about. The more you keep thinking about how nervous you are, the more you will be unable to let go of those feelings.

Focus! Be in the moment. It may not be easy but do your best. Relax. Breathe. Concentrate. With a little perseverance and confidence, you can Just know that everything will turn out fine. Be happy. Avoid medications, caffeine, alcohol and illegal drugs.

nervousbride3Normally we make blunders because we are nervous and we concentrate more on avoiding mistakes rather than using our skills to perform better. Remember, you can’t get anything wrong because the guests have no clue as to what you will be doing. Knowing that should give a boost to your self-confidence. If you make a mistake, don’t call attention to it. The guests are on your side. They want you to do well.

Plan your rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner two days before the wedding not the day before. This avoids two stressful days in a row and gives you a day of rest before the wedding. Often there is a wonderful party atmosphere at the rehearsal dinner and too much booze can really put a damper on the big day.

Planning a bachelor or bachelorette party? If you must party. . . plan your party a week or more before the wedding and behave yourself. You do not want to start your wedding day with a hangover or with the guilt of something that you know you should not have done.

Get to bed early the night before your wedding, or else you may have baggy, puffy circles under your red-rimmed eyes. Lack of food and sleep can also cause your blood pressure to drop. Take good care of yourself. Take a brisk five-minute walk. Sometimes the movement of your body will help release feelings of nervousness. Treat yourself to some alone time and relax with a warm bath and some hot tea. Meditate. Aroma therapy might help. Burn your favorite incense. Close your eyes and see the perfect wedding that you know is possible.

stressedladyEven if you don’t ordinarily eat breakfast, eat a good breakfast and substitute healthy juices for coffee. You’re standing at the alter, about to say your vows, and all of a sudden you hear a growl. Opps! Then it dawns on you that it’s coming from your own tummy. Be sure to have a very light snack before you head down the aisle.

It’s important to keep your energy up. Crackers and cheese and a Pepsi are better than nothing. Eat some fruit, such as bananas, apricots, and nectarines, which are high in potassium. This keeps your electrolytes balanced and helps give you energy. Eat before you dress, or cover up your clothes to avoid any accidental food stains.

It never pays to be undernourished at the wedding. You will look tired and drawn, and you could faint if you don’t get enough breakfast. Eating before the wedding will give you energy for your big day and you won’t feel light-headed.

Groom’s usually sweat buckets while some brides (and grooms) have been known to faint.

guyfaintFeeling faint at the ceremony? Swaying back and forth is one of the signs that someone may be close to fainting. Reach out. Let someone know if you can. The first thing you do is support yourself. Hold tight to the groom or someone nearby. Remember to breathe. This is important. One on the tricks I learned as a professional speaker was to breathe in slowly through my nose and out slowly through my mouth if I was a little nervous during the introduction to my speech. You have to think about breathing that way and when you think about something other than what you are nervous about it has a calming effect that can help you gain your composure. Keep breathing like this a few moments until you begin to feel better.

IMPORTANT: Do not lock your knees. Remember to slowly shift your weight from one foot to the other. Never stand perfectly still. Keeping your legs stiff while standing for a long period of time can interfere with your circulation and cause the blood to pool in your lower extremities. The brain needs the oxygen that the heart pumps to it. Locking your knees slows that process down. If the blood has trouble getting to your brain, you may be in danger of passing out. Keep your knees loose and shift your weight occasionally, especially if you start to feel any numbness. Slight movements will help keep the blood flowing.

Stay hydrated. Drink plenty of fluids during the day, especially if it’s hot or excessively dry. Stick with water, ginger ale, or other clear liquids in case there is an accidental spill. Avoid alcohol. Alcohol dehydrates you and can make you dizzy or light-headed. The effects will be stronger if you haven’t eaten much. Steer clear of caffeine.

Never take any new medication. Well-meaning friends may offer you sedatives or nerve pills to help calm you on your big day, but don’t be persuaded.

nervousbride2Face the minister with your backs to the guest – at least, at first. In my ceremonies, about 8 to 9 minutes into the ceremony I ask the bride and groom to face each other. For those who do not like to speak or be in front of people, this gives them a little time to get used to standing there. Look at the minister or at each other – not at the guests. Enjoy the moment. Savor the connection you’re making with the person you want to be with, and do your best to forget all the rest.

Choose temperature-appropriate clothing. In Arizona, it’s very hot during the summer. Most of the weddings in June, July and August are indoors or in the late evening. Avoid long-sleeved dresses and bulkier synthetic fabrics that don’t breathe.

If you’re getting married outdoors in Arizona, make your attire matches the climate. Go with silk or linen and other light fabrics that let the air in against your skin. Skip the tuxes for the guys and consider linen suits or go with something even more casual.

Read, “Getting Married in Arizona? Here’s the Latest Scoop!

If you are planning on saying some of your own vows, remember this: DO NOT try to memorize them. Write what you are going to say on an index card and when the time comes, have the minister hand you your notes. You may want to write in a little humor. Humor has a tendency to break the tension and help you cope with some of the anxiety and nervousness you may feel.

The butterflies in your stomach usually begin to disappear as you walk down the aisle and see the man of your dreams waiting for you at the altar.

Just for fun, take this quiz from “The Wedding Book” to see what type of bride you are! What Kind of Bride are You?

BONUS Article: Nervous on My Wedding Day
Writing Your “Personal Promises (Vows)”

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 445 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Getting Married in Arizona? Here’s the Latest Scoop!

Getting married in Arizona? It’s not called the “Valley of the Sun” for nothing. However, you rarely will find yourself freaking out about the weather in Arizona. Outdoor weddings are romantic and beautiful.

The ideal weather encourages lots of couples to plan a destination wedding in the Greater Phoenix area. Most wedding vendors are experienced in handling all the details of your wedding by telephone and e-mail. For a stress-free destination wedding hire a wedding consultant. Do that and you can sit back, relax and enjoy your wedding.

parasolKeep hydrated. Drink lots of water. Everyone knows water helps keep you cool. Give guests ice-cold bottles of water as they are seated.

Block the sun’s rays and look cute doing it with colorful parasols! Not only are they a super cute keepsake for you and your wedding party, but they also serve as a useful accessory. For another splash of color and to keep the air flowing, purchase some colorful fans! You can find them in a variety of solid colors or with designs. They are inexpensive and make a great wedding favor for an outdoor summer affair. Beat the Arizona heat and look good doing it!

“Summer can be hot. (Especially in Arizona). But don’t let the naysayers get you down. If you know there’s a decent chance it will be especially hot on your wedding day, make plans to avert any weather-related disasters. Avoid wilting blooms in the bouquets and boutonnieres by asking your florist to steer you toward hardier blooms, like orchids and lilies. Consider water-submerged centerpieces featuring Mokara orchids. Because the flowers are completely under water, they’ll keep cool all night long. And as for your wedding cake, get fondant instead of buttercream to avoid a melting mess. If you’re set on the rich taste of buttercream, display the cake during your cocktail hour and then have the cake cutting at the beginning of your reception.” ~ The Knot

Given the right weather conditions and location, an outdoor wedding can be as romantic as it is beautiful. It may seem like a no-brainer, but sunscreen is a must. Remember to apply it before you put on your makeup (for the rehearsal and the wedding).

Can you take the wedding inside? Make sure you have accommodations available, such as a tent or indoor facility, for possible inclement weather. Always have a “plan B.” With only 7.66 to 8.32 inches of rain per year, our area offers an ideal setting for outdoor weddings. The Greater Phoenix area has more than 325 days of annual sunshine.

If the forecast is for rain the weekend of your wedding, a good alternative is to have a brief rehearsal inside – just in case. The ideal outdoor wedding location has an indoor location waiting just in case. Many brides and grooms opt to have their ceremony outside and reception inside.

Probably the most confusing and often debated weather event in Arizona is our so called “monsoon”. During the wet monsoon (July, August and September) we get 32% of our normal yearly rainfall. Average monsoon rainfall (July, Aug. and Sept.) is 2.45 inches.

Finding the best place to hold a wedding ceremony in Arizona can take time because many top wedding venues and wedding locations book up months or years in advance. The near ideal weather in Arizona allows for many outdoor wedding venue options. Country clubs, resorts, golf clubs and private gathering spots are abundant in Arizona. If you want to get out of the sun, you can choose hotel, convention center or other large scale wedding facilities.

I am happy to share my “Preferred Wedding Venues” list as my way of assisting you in selecting the perfect venue for your wedding. It has been my experience that the staff of these venues are easy to work with and will do everything they can to make your special day memorable. For a list of “Preferred Venues” click here.

AZquarterCheck my handy “Arizona Sunsets” page. I have listed 52 weeks of approximate sunset times for Saturday plus average temperatures for Greater Phoenix Area.

It is wise to plan for approximately 25 to 30 minutes of sunlight after the actual sunset time. If you will be taking any pictures “after” the wedding ceremony, you may want to begin the ceremony about an hour before sunset.

Unlike parts of the United States in the Midwest and East, Arizona has two wedding seasons. When everyone there is having June weddings, I usually take some time off in June or July because most of my weddings are outdoors and those months are when things begin to heat up here. The busiest months for weddings in Arizona are March, April and May and October, November and December.

In the desert, we do December differently. The winter grass is growing, the palms swaying are in the breeze. We decorate our houses and the cacti in our desert yards with chile pepper lights while wearing our t-shirts and shorts. We also drive around town looking at the Christmas lights in our convertibles with the top down.

Arizona winters (December & January) may require heating for an outdoor evening wedding and cooling is a must if your wedding day falls in the heat of summer (June, July & August). Yes, those months are the hottest, but fortunately it really is also a dry heat. The humidity is usually very low.

AZsunsetHere’s the breakdown. On Average:

• July is the warmest month.
• December is the coolest month.
• March is the wettest month.
• June is the driest month.
• June has the most clear days.
• December has the most cloudy days.

Records:

• The highest recorded temperature was 122°F in June of 1990.
• The lowest recorded temperature was 16°F in January of 1913.

BONUS Articles: Where to Get Your Marriage License in Arizona
Romantic Arizona Sunsets
Destination Wedding: Arizona…
The Pros and Cons of Destination Weddings
The Blending of the Sands Ceremony

For a brief audio weather report on current conditions in the Greater Phoenix area, go to:

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Click for Larry’s Wedding Website!

Copyright © 2009 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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