Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

10 Hen Party Tips to Avoid Any Bridal Party Tantrums

Alice Rimes, Guest Author

Banish bridal party tantrums and dramas for good with these 10 top tips for planning the perfect hen celebration!

Make it affordable ~ Your dream hen party may consist of a luxury break abroad, but not everyone can afford such a lavish trip, so be considerate. Hen parties can be expensive, plus your girls may have to take annual leave from work to attend if you plan it on a weekday. Weekend parties at home are just as much fun and cost less.

WED-HenPartyTipsFun for all ~ Not all your hens will be into the same things as you and although it’s your party, try to choose activities you’ll all enjoy. Why not put it to the vote?

Have a pre-party introduction ~ Try to arrange a gathering with your girls before the party so they all get to know one another. This can sometimes be difficult to organize but it will be well worth it if they’re familiar with each other before the weekend away.

Put someone in charge ~ It’s always best to have one person organize the day rather than having several girls arranging different things. Make sure this person is organized but not too bossy, or it won’t go down well. Plus, this person should not be you!

Body hang-ups ~ Hot-tubbing it in a bikini and wearing skimpy fancy dress might sound great to you, but are all your girls happy to flaunt their flesh? That’s something to think about when planning a hen party!

Keep everyone entertained ~ Think about the time in between the activity and the club. Collect up board games, a karaoke machine, iPod player and more for hotel entertainment.

Stay together ~ You must stick together! Not only is it safer and reduces the chance of someone getting lost, it also avoids any awkwardness – there’s nothing more annoying than girls having in-jokes that exclude the other hens.

Get some sleep! ~ We know what you’re thinking – yeah right! But you don’t want Sunday’s activities to be ruined by Saturday night’s hangover.

Larry’s NOTE: If you are going to have a hen party, schedule it several days “before” the wedding day!

Buy them a thank you gift ~ Your hens have spent a lot of money to celebrate with you, so show them how much you appreciate their efforts by buying them a little gift to say thanks. This could be something they can use on the hen night itself. We’ve got some brilliant buys in the Wedding Ideas Shop.

Have a kitty for expenses ~ Make sure you have extra petty cash when planning a hen party. Whether it’s for a taxi or lunch, it’s not fair for one person to pay and be owed money from the rest of the party, so have a pot to pay for minor expenses.

For more hen tips, including our fabulous hen party A-Z list where you’re guaranteed to find something you’ll love, head to our Hen Party section on the website. It’s full of ideas and advice for you and your hens, so have a look!

BONUS Articles: 6 Things Bridesmaids Do That Really Annoy the Bride
Cloned “look alike” Bridesmaids
So, You’re a Bridesmaid… What Now?
Brides! Should You Fire Your Bridesmaid?
8 Things You Should Never Do at a Hen Party

WeddingIdeasLOGO

Copyright © 2015 – Alice Rimes. Amy is a writer for Wedding Ideas Magazine featuring hundreds of ideas for weddings, honeymoons and more.

ljspacer

CiWblue1

Click for Larry’s Wedding Website!

Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Lots of Wedding Ideas on: Larry’s Pinterest Page

Monday, June 29, 2015

6 Things Bridesmaids Do That Really Annoy the Bride

Filed under: Bridesmaids,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , ,

Leah Messenger, Guest Author

Planning a wedding can be stressful! So, bridesmaids, take note. Here are five things that you do that really, really annoy the bride – even if she’s not saying so…

1. Being impossible to contact ~ Bridesmaids being difficult or impossible to contact is a huge problem. We’re not saying it’s compulsory for your bridesmaids’ phones to be in their hands at all times, and kept on loud on their pillow whilst they sleep, but the role comes with certain responsibilities and one of them is being contactable at certain times.

Angry Bride 2. Being fussy about dresses ~ Choosing a dress style that suits lots of different body shapes is a hard enough task by itself without adding a fussy bridesmaid into the equation. Don’t put your bridesmaids in dresses that don’t suit them or they don’t feel comfortable in, but don’t succumb to a moody best friend just because you didn’t get the dress SHE wanted most.

3. Not getting on with other bridesmaids ~ You want the whole of the bridal party to get on! Through the planning process, through to the wedding day, you’re all going to be spending a lot of time with each other. Maybe one of your maids hasn’t taken a liking to one of your other maids? This causes tension within the bridal party, whether it’s kept quiet or seen through out-right arguments. Resolution?

At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you’ve chosen your best girls to be right next to you the whole way through it, so let her know and realize her mistakes! Arranging ‘get-to-know-each-other’ activities is a great idea to get the bonding started.

4. Making a mess ~ Girls are well known for being a bit messy when it comes to getting ready. Clothes scattered across the floor, make-up all over the place and so on. Whilst this is ok in their own bedrooms no one wants a messy bridesmaid in the bridal suite! Each girl should bring a little bag with everything they need for the big day and get ready as soon as possible, leaving a calm and tidy room where the bride can relax before her big entrance.

5. Not listening ~ Having your bridesmaids ask you the same details over and over again is not ideal when you’ve got so much to do. You don’t want to be bombarded by questions because your bridesmaids didn’t listen to you in the first place! We’re sure that you’ll have a to-do list for your wedding planning and for your big day – hand one over to each of your bridesmaids, or assign them specific tasks, and make sure they are in complete understanding prior to your day to avoid any hassle.

6. Uploading photos on social media ~ Everyone loves a good bride and bridesmaids photograph – but wait! Your bride may not want unofficial shots plastered all over Instagram even before she’s cut her cake! Make sure you let your maids know about how you feel about your wedding photos on Facebook. Have an acceptable social media plan in mind, and tell your chief bridesmaid who can spread the word.

BONUS Articles: 8 Ways to Guarantee Happy Bridesmaids
Cloned “look alike” Bridesmaids
Brides! Should You Fire Your Bridesmaid?
So, You’re a Bridesmaid… What Now?
6 Tips on How to Avoid Embarrassment as the Bridesmaid!

WeddingIdeasLOGO

Copyright © 2015 – Leah Messenger. Leah is a writer for Wedding Ideas Magazine featuring hundreds of ideas for weddings, honeymoons and more.

ljspacer

CiWblue1

Click for Larry’s Wedding Website!

Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Lots of Wedding Ideas on: Larry’s Pinterest Page

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

8 Ways to Guarantee Happy Bridesmaids

Leah Messenger, Guest Author

You may be the star of the show but your bridesmaids need to be happy too! Here are 8 easy ways to keep your best girls sweet throughout the wedding planning process, right up to the big day itself…

WEDBridesmaidsHappyGive them options ~ Present your bridesmaids with options. That way you are effectively giving them their own choice on what color of dresses to go for or what hairstyle to do, but keeping in the restrictions of what YOU want most. If you want them the same, giving them options to discuss means you aren’t the bad guy, and the disagreeable bridesmaid is. Or if you want mismatched bridesmaids, even better! They can form their own look.

Consider their budgets ~ Consider your bridesmaids’ financial situations before you start making them buy their own dresses or planning a hen weekend abroad. They will feel honored that you’ve asked them to be part of your special day, but it shouldn’t cost them an arm and a leg.

Make introductions ~ Set a date night for proper introductions between your bridesmaids. They’re your favorite girls and you want them to get along, so don’t just leave it to the hen night and the actual day. Sort out nights in and nights out so the whole bridal party can bond.

No favoritism ~ Don’t have favorites, or make people compete to be your favorite. No one wants tension or jealousy between the bridesmaids . And if you’re having a chief bridesmaid of maid of honor, make this clear who it is from the start. Then, at the very least, the other bridesmaids have a port of call aside from you if they have any problems.

Think how they feel ~ You can’t forget to think about how they feel. Yes it is your day and you have envisioned it a certain way, but make sure you think about what they might not be saying out loud. Maybe they’re not comfortable in their dresses? Maybe they feel you’re giving them too many tasks? Think about your maids and always ask if they’re okay.

Plan ahead ~ Expecting them to drop everything because you call an emergency DIY craft evening, or have a wedding-related panic isn’t very fair. Organize things like this and let your maids know in good time – if they can make it, great, if they’re already busy, don’t be a bridezilla about it!

Provide alternatives ~ Things like high heels will make you and your bridesmaids look great on the day, but may prove painful by the evening. Provide a comfy alternative like flip flops or flats and your girls will love you for it.

Be generous ~ Shower them with fun and gifts and presents! Organize lots of fun get togethers involving wine and yummy snacks, and spoil them with special bridesmaid gifts. Nothing will make them feel more special than a personal gift from you, the bride, and it will be a perfect keepsake from your wedding, too. Overall, be the coolest bride you can be – treat your bridesmaids well, and they will return the favor!

BONUS Articles: So, You’re a Bridesmaid… What Now?
Brides! Should You Fire Your Bridesmaid?
6 Tips on How to Avoid Embarrassment as the Bridesmaid!

WeddingIdeasLOGO

Copyright © 2015 – Leah Messenger. Leah is a writer for Wedding Ideas Magazine featuring hundreds of ideas for weddings, honeymoons and more.

ljspacer

CiWblue1

Click for Larry’s Wedding Website!

Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Lots of Wedding Ideas on: Larry’s Pinterest Page

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

So, You’re a Bridesmaid… What Now?

Being asked to be a Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor is truly an honor. The list of duties are long. You are the Chief Ring-leader. You were chosen because of your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion and get-the-job-done qualities, to say nothing of your close friendship with the bride.

Being a bridesmaid is not something one should enter into lightly. The commitment is fierce and obligations many. Bridesmaids are usually close friends or family members to the bride and typically play a vital role on the day of the wedding. Bridesmaids must be a dependable group of ladies consisting of the bride’s closest friends and/or family. Negative, needy dramatic types need not apply. Bridesmaids have a strong supportive role they must play during the entire wedding experience.

BridesmaidSome girls find that they cannot meet the needs and demands of the bride. If you feel that you cannot do everything that is necessary for the bride to have the best day ever… you should decline rather than quit two weeks before the wedding because the stress was too much for you. There is no joy or fun in being a bridesmaid if you don’t enjoy what you are doing. Bridesmaid’s duties can be fun filled and enjoyable as long as everyone involved has a sense of humor and you all remain calm during the stressful periods.

“Attempting to back out for any reason other than an economic, health, or family crisis beyond your control is a risky move and generally not advised. Communicate any concerns to the couple, and things will usually work themselves out.” Emily Post

If you find that you are unable to carry out the duties of a bridesmaid, suggest to the bride some other duty that will still have you be a part of the wedding, e.g., guestbook attendant, addressing invitations, do a reading, gift attendant, be a “go-to girl,” bring food and drinks to the head table, etc.

Bridesmaid duties come in all forms and fashions. Many important bridesmaid duties involve keeping the bride comfortable, emotionally and physically. Duties of the bridesmaids include, but are limited to:

• Part of your responsibilities are to know your responsibilities. Have a one-on-one with the bride
• Assists Maid of Honor however they can
• Helps Maid of Honor plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party
• Help the bride with the planning of the wedding
• Greets guests at the reception and encourage mingling
• Purchases their own attire, transportation, and accessories
• Attends the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
• Assists the Maid of Honor in helping everyone get on the dance floor
• Assist the other bridesmaids on where to go and timing, especially if they show up late
• Organizing a bachelorette Party or a STEN do Party
• Assisting the bride in making decisions regarding her wedding decorations, invitations and reception menu.
• Visiting Bridesmaid’s stores to find a bridesmaids gown. Bridesmaids must remember that this is the bride’s special day and therefore she ultimately does make the final decision on the gown style
• Give an individual wedding gift to the couple, or contribute to a group gift from all the attendants
• Pay attention! This is the bridesmaid’s biggest task, yet sometimes the most ambiguous. Be a hands-on attendant, and errand runner and more. If you see something that needs to be done… do it!
• Provide moral support and be a great listener throughout the process since it is a very wonderful and “positively” stressful time for your friend
• Ask if the bride needs anything (food, water, etc), all the way up until the time she is walking down the aisle
• Last but not least, one of your bridesmaid duties is to remain and pick up flower petals and be involved in the not-so-fun part – cleanup!

In other words… be there for the bride! The duties a bridesmaid must perform on the wedding day are essential in ensuring that the bride has a relaxed and fun filled day. Whatever feelings the bride may be displaying on the day, the bridesmaid’s should be aware that she will be very emotional and she will need emotional support from her closest friends. And what do you get for being a bridesmaid? You get to enjoy the glow of an appreciative bride whose wedding was made all the more special from your unique input.

The Expenses of a Bridesmaid ~ There is a considerable expense involved in being a bridesmaid, including cost of apparel, travel and hotel room for the ceremony, hosting a party, as well as a shower gift and a wedding gift. A bridesmaid can save money by asking others to pitch in for the showers, wearing a dress she already owns (if that’s okay with the bride), making her own dress, and staying with friends. She can give her friend the gift of time – i.e., the gift of addressing and stuffing the invitations. Also, a bride may pay for some of the expenses if her budget allows it.” ~ Nina Callaway

BONUS Article: 6 Things Bridesmaids Do That Really Annoy the Bride
Brides! Should You Fire Your Bridesmaid?
Always for Bridesmaids – Some Dos and Don’ts!
Inside Weddings: The Wedding Party

CelebrateIntimateWeddings

Click logo to go to Wedding Website!

Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Lots of Wedding Ideas on: Larry’s Pinterest Page

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Things Someone Should Have Told You Before Your Wedding Day

Planning a wedding is no easy task. Everything from the check lists to the blogs and bridal magazines, Pintrest, etc., make it almost overwhelming. Take your time. Begin your planning six months to a year before your wedding day.

You would be wise to choose the date of your wedding first, the wedding venue second and the Wedding Officiant/Minister third. As you know I am a wedding officiant and I cannot tell you how many times a bride and groom have hired nearly all their wedding vendors and at the last minute remember that they have not hired someone special to perform the wedding ceremony.

B4YOURweddingI’ve made a list of things that I hear brides say that they wish they would have known before the wedding. Contrary to popular belief, most brides have not been thinking about the details of their wedding since they were a little girl. Another reason this list may be helpful. (NOTE: You will find various links in this article that will expound on some of the topics. Every link opens in a new browser window so you won’t lose your place.)

1. Want a really great marriage? It begins when you get serious about working on you – FIRST! Have you dealt with your issues? Your wedding day is one day of your life. Your marriage is long-term. You may have a near-perfect wedding, however, that’s not the marriage. A marriage is the ultimate commitment. You both will have to change to make the marriage work. Believe me, marriage is always a work in progress. Be sure you are ready for it.

2. There is no perfect wedding. Believe me, sometimes things mess up. Be prepared to roll with the punches if something does go wrong. The groomsmen forgot the rings. The wedding cake didn’t arrive on time. One of your bridesmaids or groomsmen is MIA. The flower girl refused to walk down the aisle. The maid of honor had too many drinks and starts making a teary scene at the reception. Your florist used roses instead of peonies for your bouquet. Things may run behind schedule. Make sure everyone knows what time to show up on your wedding day. Be a good example. Don’t be late for your own wedding! It’s happened.

3. Tell your photographer key information in advance. From special family situations like divorces and mobility limitations, to special details you want to make sure are captured, there are several things you need to share with your photographer in advance. Photographers always work better when you have provided a list of the special photos you want taken. You’d be surprised how many guests just assume they’re going to be in pictures and stick around, and how many guests who are close family that just take off to the cocktail hour. Let close friends and family know to stay close after the ceremony for photos.

4. Plan some quiet time before the ceremony. You need reflection time. Take time to break away from the crowd and be quiet somewhere if only for ten minutes. Drink some water and collect your thoughts. I’ve had brides and grooms tell me they hardly remember anything about the ceremony if went by so quickly. It’s like an entire day in fast forward. Pay attention during the ceremony.

5. Spend some time thinking about what you want your wedding ceremony to say. The ceremony IS the wedding. It is the heart and soul of the event. Write some of your own vows. You don’t want empty words – they must mean something.

6. Hire a professional Wedding Officiant – one with experience! Forget uncle Harry – who had never done a ceremony – and who wants to do your ceremony for free. I repeat… The ceremony IS the wedding. Why would you want to cut corners with the most important part of your wedding day? Want to hear from horror stories? Give me a call. I’ve heard it all. Hire the best! There’s a reason they are the best. There’s a reason everyone wants them. So they get booked soon, and early. They might be available when you make your inquiry but your wedding date is not secure until a deposit is paid and an agreement is signed. When you feel good about a choice, make a decision.

7. Choose your bridal party carefully. Take your time picking your wedding party. You should spend some time thinking about who you really want to share this day with you. Be willing to choose someone else if your maid of honor or best man are not helping you with what you need help with. Never assume your wedding party knows what is expected of them. Know what their duties are and talk with them about what you expect. Have your Maid of Honor “practice” bustling your dress before the wedding day. Don’t take on too many duties yourself. Delegate! Give everyone in your bridal party something to do.

8. Talk about money with your partner. How much debt are you and your partner bringing into this marriage. Be honest. It’s better to find out now rather than be strapped with debt after you tie the knot. Save your money for wedding expenses and go lite on credit cards. Your parents may contribute some, but nowadays many brides and grooms are paying their own way. It is very easy to develop bad financial habits while planning a wedding. Be certain you have a budget for your wedding and be prepared to shift money around if something or someone you want exceeds the money you set aside for them. The easiest way to trim your wedding budget? Cut your guest list.

HireConsultant“For the love of all that is remotely holy in this world, do NOT go into major debt to pay for your wedding.” ~ Melissa Lafsky

9. When in doubt… don’t! If you have any doubts in your mind about whether you should get married, a postponement is much less expensive than a divorce. Listen to your gut or intuition! Trust it! If you have major issues that you think will disappear after you are married, think again! I’ve been a relationship coach since 1995 and the one thing that I am saddened to hear is: “I though he/she would change after we got married!” That seldom works out. Have issues? Get relationship coaching BEFORE marriage. It is perhaps the most vital thing you can do before marching down the aisle.

10. Hire a Wedding Consultant OR at least a day of coordinator! Are you ready for the truth? You are not a professional event planner so please stop acting like you know everything about weddings after reading two blog articles and surfing Pinterest. Your wedding is your big day. You shouldn’t have to worry if everything is going just right! Most wedding consultants know where to get the good deals. They are there to help you bring your dream wedding to life. They can make recommendations to quality wedding vendors and watch over all the details of your wedding as they are happening. When you hire a wedding consultant, you can relax, knowing that everything will work out fine. Call me if you need referrals.

11. Don’t skip breakfast on your wedding day. With all the morning jitters, you’re likely to forget. Put something in your tummy to absorb all the nerves that might show up. 😉

12. Put a dab hand lotion on before heading down the aisle. Whether it’s the heat or stress, you or your partner’s fingers could swell a bet, giving you a hard time trying to get that ring on. Remember to pass this tip to the groom.

13. Remember to put together an “Emergency Kit” to bring to the wedding. Oh, and don’t forget the Marriage License!

14. Always remember… this is YOUR wedding, not your mothers! You cannot please everyone. Pick the few people you want to please – at the top of the list is your partner and then you have 5 more spots. After that everyone else can sit down and shut up. 😉 If your mom or the groom’s mom or anyone else suggests something that you do not want, be tactful, however, never be afraid to say, “No.”

15. Carry an emergency contact sheet on your wedding day. Keep the paper with names and phone numbers of all your vendors in your purse or give it to your maid of honor to hold in case you need to contact a vendor. It could come in handy.

16. Give yourself plenty of time to plan your wedding. Some people can do it in 6 months. Others require a year or more. Do as much as possible and get it all ready BEFORE the morning of your wedding. Anything else should be delegated to someone else you trust to follow through.

If you have topics that brides and grooms should know about before their wedding, please list them in the comments! Sharing is a good thing!

BONUS Articles: Serving Her Majesty the Bride: To Be a Maid of Honor… or Not
Set Some Wedding Priorities – First Things First!
Getting Married in Arizona? Here’s the Latest Scoop!
I’m Late… For a Very Important (Wedding) Date! I’m Late!
Sorry, I Don’t Need a Wedding Consultant… My Venue Has One!

CelebrateIntimateWeddings

Click logo to go to Wedding Website!

Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Brides! Should You Fire Your Bridesmaid?

Kirsten Hansen, Guest Author

When it comes to dealing with drama, Little Red Lupine (aka Kirsten, the Community Manager of the Offbeat Bride Tribe) has held thousands of brides’ hands as they work through it. Here’s her advice on one particularly thorny issue…

FireBridesmaidYes, firing a bridesmaid sounds shitty. Honestly, it usually feels pretty shitty. There are lots of different reasons that a bridesmaid just might not work out — some that are high drama (like a fight or a friendship ending) and some that aren’t quite as emotional (life situation changes, unexpected illness or injury). Regardless, it still sucks. And it isn’t just bridesmaids. Maybe it’s a bridesdude, a groomswoman, a groomsman, or anyone who you asked to stand up with you at your wedding.

If you’re in this situation, there are probably a lot of feels. And we all know that when there are strong feelings, it can be way easy to say or do something you might regret. If you’re having issues with a wedding party member to the degree where you want to ask them to step down, you really need to keep your cool and just make it through with minimal damage. You also need to carefully consider your own responsibilities in the situation, and take ownership for your own issues.

Think about why you asked them in the first place

Were you expecting your bridesmaid to be a henchwoman? Were you asking because of what they mean to you? Do you feel like you owe them because you were in their wedding party? Is there history you want to respect? You asked them, so you must have had some reason… but maybe you aren’t really clear on what it was, or maybe it wasn’t the best reason. When you take the time to examine your own motivations, you may be able to better understand the role that you’ve played in things falling apart.

Consider exactly why you think it might be time to fire them

Make sure you really understand your reasoning. Are they not living up to your expectations? (Do they even know what their expectations are?) Are you no longer friends? Do you want to do this for their sake due to finances, time availability, or health considerations? Then think about how this compares with why you asked them in the first place.

As much as possible, try to focus on the actions you have taken — it’s easy to blame other people, but it’s much more difficult to look at how your choices contributed to a rough situation. If someone’s not meeting your expectations, is there a chance you were unclear or they misunderstood? Be honest with yourself.

Talk to them

Note that I said talk. I know it can feel way easier to send an email or text but trust me, on the Offbeat Bride Tribe, I’ve seen how even the best-intended emails can play out — and it’s infrequently well. You may be angry or hurt (and here are some tips for communicating when hurt or angry), and you may say something you will regret. Or they may misunderstand something you typed.
You need to have a conversation if at all possible — preferably in person, and definitely in private. Here are some things to talk about:

• If you’re undecided about them remaining in the wedding party, ask them about their feelings. Find out what’s going on for them. If they haven’t been responding to messages about the wedding, it may be because something has come up in their life that you don’t know about. Listen carefully.
• Talk openly about your concerns. Again, take full ownership for the role you have played in miscommunications and mis-aligned expectations. Apologize if you weren’t clear about expectations, or had unreasonable expectations that don’t line up with their availability or resources.
• Be sure to emphasize that you asked them to be a bridesmaid because they are important to you.
• Don’t be a dick. Stay open-hearted and patient. Think of this as information-gathering. There are no wrong answers. Don’t cast judgment on any feelings that come up. Just listen, and learn. Most importantly, take responsibility for your own role in things going awry. Yes, she might have fucked up royally… but even if your take-away is just “I should have been more thoughtful in making my original decision,” there’s almost always a lot for YOU to learn in conversations like this.

In talking, you may learn that your bridesmaid is actually looking for a way out. You won’t know until you talk to her.
Sometimes, you just have to end it.

Ok. You examined your own original motivations and potential mis-steps. You talked to them open-heartedly. You listened. You learned. And it’s clear: this is not going to work.

If you know it’s not going to work, then it’s in everyone’s best interests to ask your bridesmaid to step down. Now obviously, if you want to remain friends with them, you need to be as respectful and loving as possible — even as you’re asking them to step down from being a bridesmaid. Even if you’ve realized that a friendship is over, you still need to act with integrity.

Here are ways to word a difficult message:

“I asked you to be my bridesmaid because you are super important to me. You will always be important to me… but at this point, I’d rather you be a guest at my wedding than a bridesmaid. I feel like we’re not lining up on our ideas about you being a bridesmaid, and want us to be able to both enjoy my wedding together — and it feels like having you attend as a guest is the best way to do that.”

“I love you and I know your life is really busy right now with _____. I really want to support you in being able to focus on that, and so let’s just have you come to my wedding as a guest instead of as a bridesmaid.”

“This is emotional and hard, but I guess I’m just going to rip off the band-aid: I want you to come to my wedding as a guest, and not as a bridesmaid. This was a really rough decision, and I totally understand if you’re upset with me. I hope you can understand why I made this choice, but I understand if you’re mad or frustrated.”

Unless you’re ending the friendship, it can be helpful to talk to your former bridesmaid about other future plans. Even if it’s just “Let’s get drinks next week,” it can be hugely reassuring to know that just because being a bridesmaid isn’t working out, doesn’t mean the relationship needs to be over.

The goal with any difficult conversation is to take responsibility for yourself, and communicate with integrity and maturity. It can be easy to try to externalize it when bridesmaids don’t work out, but ultimately this is your choice, and your responsibility. Do what you need to do, but do it with respect.

BONUS Articles: Q & A – Can I Remove a Bridesmaid from the Wedding Party?
Serving Her Majesty the Bride: To Be a Maid of Honor… or Not
6 Tips on How to Avoid Embarrassment as the Bridesmaid!

Copyright 2014 – Kirsten Hansen. Kirsten Hansen, aka Little Red Lupine, is an academically-minded geek who works in instructional technology by day and crafts by night… when she isn’t playing video games or watching TV with her husband, playing with their ferrets, or cuddling their kitties. She can usually be found with her nose in a book but might just be baking something yummy instead.

ljspacer

CiWblue1

Click for Larry’s Wedding Website!

Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Friday, October 26, 2012

Faux Pas or Trés Chic: “Male of Honor”?

Picture this…

Your moment has arrived; the man of your dreams has just proposed; you’re overcome with glee and in your mind you’re already picking out your bridal party. Of course your best friend is a forerunner for maid of honor;however, it’s never been more blaringly obvious to you now that your “BFF” isn’t a female.

In a world where gender roles are consistently changing, the issue of where your male friends fit into your wedding party should no longer be a pressing one. As a matter of fact, we would consider it trés chic to have a “male of honor” instead of a maid of honor. You’re already flooded with details like seating arrangements and which one of your bridesmaids hates having her arms out, so here are a few tips on how to tastefully include your best male friend in your wedding day without totally stressing you out. After all, it’s your day and it should be as stress-free as possible!

• Did we mention? It’s your day! It’s about what you want and who you want to be a part of your special day. Things shouldn’t come to a screeching halt just because your “BFF” happens to be male or because you want your older brother you’ve always admired to stand next to you when you take one of the most memorable steps in your life.

• Stick to gender-neutral titles. Instead of “bridesmaids” try “attendees” or “persons in waiting”. However, if your friend and your groom are comfortable with the title “man of honor” then by all means – go for it!

• Include your male friend in bridesmaids activities. If your guy pal won’t squirm when lingerie gifts are passed around and cosmos are served up in hot pink martini glasses – then more power to him! You should mention to him certain obligations are expected of him during wedding time but you don’t mind if he bails out of a few of the more “girly” outings/events.

• Never fear the awkward dance of the bridal party down the aisle! Your “male of honor” doesn’t have to walk down the aisle with another male from the groom’s party; he can escort another female attendee down the aisle if the numbers are uneven. Perhaps he can escort the bride’s mother down the aisle. If all else fails, he can simply have the spotlight and walk alone.

• Forget the sarcastic remarks being made about your buff “bestie” in a cocktail gown. Your male friend can wear a suit and still be photographed with the bridal party without spoiling the color scheme. His tie or shirt can match the colors of the bridesmaids dress or he can wear a boutonniere with the same arrangement as the bouquets of the other bridesmaids to keep the color palette flowing.

• Gifts for the modernized bridal party should be simple enough, instead of that darling Tiffany bracelet with the cute butterfly charm, opt for a bottle of his favorite brandy or a pair of sterling cufflinks (if he’s not the drinking type). Either way you know your friend the best, picking a gift for him should be the more relaxing side of choosing a male attendant.

• If all else fails and you want to make it very easy on yourself and your male friend, simply ask your groom if he can join the other groomsmen standing on his side and participating in groomsmen activities. That way your male friend can still be involved in every aspect of your special day without all the rearranging or raised eyebrows.

Copyright © 2012 – Sandals Luxury Included® Vacations. Vist the Sandals Wedding Blog. For more info about Sandals, click here!

Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Serving Her Majesty the Bride: To Be a Maid of Honor. . . or Not

While it is an honor for a bride to ask you to be the Maid (or Matron) of Honor, you would be wise to consider the many awesome responsibilities that go with this honor. Some brides will automatically think of their very best friend for this privilege. Perhaps a better reason would be to choose the person who is willing to do all the things that are necessary to cater to the Bride’s every whim, serving with distinction.

As Maid of Honor the Bride’s chief attendant and personal confidante – you have to keep things organized and under control as well as being her “crisis counselor.” Maids of Honor are chosen for their emotional stability and composure. You will offer moral support and assist with virtually every aspect of the pre-wedding planning all the way to the end of the wedding. Part of your job is to make the entire process as stress-free as possible.

You will be expected to give her your full attention on the day of the wedding and be ready to handle anything that comes up.

servingthebrideOnce you have been asked to serve, have a meeting with the Bride and ask her to define what she expects from you. The key is to “ask.” Be clear about what she expects and be honest with her if you do not think you can live up to her expectations. When necessary, step in and take control of any stressful situations. Anticipate any needs the Bride may have and take care of them in a positive manner.

Once you accept the honor, try not to ask too many questions unless it is about something very important. This only adds to her frustration level. The Bride is counting you to take care of pretty much everything. Be a shoulder she can lean on when things become to overwhelming to bear. This can take a lot of time, energy and requires lots of preparation. Be cool, but never outshine the Bride.

You will act as a liaison between the Bride and the Bridesmaids from the beginning through the reception. You need to set the tone among the women in the bridal party. Prep the Bridesmaids and make sure they know their duties and show up “on time” for the rehearsal. Think of yourself as a coach. You are in charge of the Bridesmaids and with their cooperation the wedding will run more smoothly.

Bring tissues, extra makeup, pantyhose, nail polish, breath mints and anything else that she might need the day of the wedding. Put together an “Emergency Checklist” to make sure to avoid any crisis that might come up. Prepare a “beauty bag” (emergency pouch) to bring with you on the big day. Hold her flowers, straighten her veil and train before, during and after the wedding and especially during the wedding pictures.

One of the most important traditions of a Maid or Matron of Honor is to give the Bride a Toast at the reception. The best toasts include funny stories growing up with sentimental friendship and love. Don’t get too wordy. Keep it short and interesting. Offer a few words of advice to both the bride and groom and best wishes you have for the newlyweds (e.g., success, happiness, many babies). If you are a person who does not like to speak in front of others, make sure to rehearse and bring a hard copy of your wedding toast.

Tips for the Toast

• Have note cards handy! Write down what you will say.
• Take a deep breath before you start. You can’t go wrong with full lungs. It will even make your figure look better.
• Stand up.
• Use a microphone if given one. <IMPORTANT: Hold the microphone around the middle and keep it a few inches from your lips and an inch or so lower than your mouth. Try not to let it fall because no one will be able to hear you. Try not to hold it too close to your lips or you will get a popping sound when you say your P's.
• Don't drink to much before your speech. Tranquilizers aren't a good idea either. They will leave you with an inability to react to the situation.
• Click here for more toast tips!

Here are a few Wedding Toast ideas that may be helpful to you when writing your speech

• Stories of what the bride used to share with you about the groom when she first met him.
• Funny story while growing up
• How you and the bride met and how long you both have known each other
• Most "appropriately" embarrassing moment you shared with the bride
• How beautiful the bride and groom look together
• Talk about a funny habit of the bride that the groom will have to live with
• A spiritual statement (if the bride and groom are spiritual people)
• Words of advice to both the bride and groom
• Wishes you have for the newlyweds (e.g., success, happiness, many babies)

The Maid of Honor's duties may be as many or as varied as the bride may wish to impose upon her, but typically, the Maid of Honor is responsible for:

Pre-Wedding

• Traveling with the bride to help choose a wedding venue
• Helping to choose and address wedding invitations
• Going with the bride to help with the shopping for her wedding dress as well as the bridesmaid dresses
• Going with the bride to register for her wedding gifts
• Helping the bride with the seating arrangements
• She will be hosting and planning the bridal shower as well as the bachelorette party
• Maintaining communication and organization with the other bridesmaids
• She will be attending and assisting during the rehearsal dinner

Wedding day

• Assisting the bride with her dress and makeup
• Being the messenger if the bride wants to communicate sight unseen with the family or groom
• Visiting the reception room to check on the details
• Helping to make sure the bride has privacy before the ceremony if desired
• Signing of the marriage license after the ceremony (if requested)
• Helping the bride with her veil and train before, during and after the ceremony
• Holding the bride's bouquet during the ceremony as required
• Holding the groom's wedding ring to hand to the bride during the ceremony
• Making a toast and/or speech during the reception
• Securing any money as might be given to the wedding couple during the reception
• Providing emotional support as needed

What are the duties of a Maid of Honor? We went to the ultimate source to find a comprehensive answer for you. Emily's Post's Wedding Etiquette lists the following responsibilities for the Maid of Honor:

• Help the bride choose the bridesmaids' attire
• Help address invitations and place cards
• Attend as many prenuptial events as possible
• Organizes bridesmaids' gift to the bride; usually gives an individual gift to the couple as well
• Makes sure that all the bridesmaids, the flower girl and ring bearer are at fittings, the rehearsal, and the ceremony on time
• Is expected to attend the rehearsal and is included at the rehearsal dinner
• Takes part in the processional and recessional
• Hold the ring, which the bride will present to the groom
• Helps maintain the brides gown before, during, and after the ceremony. This includes helping her change out of it if she plans to change into going-away clothing
• Ensures that the bridal gown and accessories are well cared for after the wedding and until the bride is able to have them attended to
• Arranges the bride's veil and train for the processional, recessional and photography
• During the ceremony the maid of honor holds the bride's bouquet
• She is a witness to the signing of the marriage certificate
• If a receiving line is used, the Maid of Honor usually stands in it
• Is responsible for making sure the bride adheres to the schedule
• The maid of the honor is expected to pay for her own wedding attire and transportation to the wedding

While the maid of honor isn't required to host the bridal shower, Emily Post notes that the family of the bride is not to do it. This generally leaves the attendants (of which the maid of honor is the head attendant) to throw the shower. It is suggested that the maid of honor co-host the bridal shower. The maid of honor hosts most bachelorette parties.

And finally, serve with distinction! If other commitments prevent you from giving the Bride the attention she deserves, you may be a better candidate for a Bridesmaid.

Larry’s Note: Photo by Jen Huang Photography

CelebrateIntimateWeddings

Click logo to go to Wedding Website!

Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: