Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Monday, March 9, 2015

Shadow Wedding… Bringing Light to the Dark Side of Getting Married!

The latest trend is for couples to dress down and confess their flaws. A Shadow Wedding is an intimate ritual held before a regular “light” wedding in which all manner of difficult material between the couple is welcomed. It provides a consecrated place for partners to give voice to their darker sides, along with any doubts and fears about committing to lifelong partnership. Through the process of creating and participating in a Shadow Wedding, partners choose one another with eyes wide open, seeing both the beautiful and the ugly in their beloved.

ShadowWeddingIn Jungian psychology, the shadow refers to the instinctive, irrational and least desirable aspects of one’s personality; your dark side, the bits you feverishly suppress. Especially on your wedding day.

Basically, a Shadow Wedding allows couples to explore their own and their partner’s shadow selves – those parts of themselves that might harbor fear of marriage itself, and fear of how they might react to those less-desirable traits in their partner. In it, you work through a kind of “dark side” of your habits/flaws/shortcomings. This usually occurs several weeks before their actual wedding.

Being fearless helps, however you will be asked to step out of your realm of familiarity and say things about yourself and your partner that allow you to reveal the real you. Think of it as stopping a traditional ceremony right when the person says “for better or for worse” and then having them elaborate, exactly, on what the worse is, just a week prior.

“If a relationship is going to develop in an atmosphere of truth, wholeness, acceptance and ultimately love, partners need to know themselves and each other in all their dimensions — even if some of those dimensions are difficult to digest.” ~ Douglas and Naomi Moseley, The Shadow Side of Intimate Relationships

“This is not for people who don’t recover well from fighting,” said Jessica Wolk Benson, who with her husband, Ron experienced a Shadow Wedding. “This requires blazing honesty, and if that will be too upsetting to some, it wouldn’t be good for them.” It’s an opportunity to air out all your proverbial dirty laundry prior to saying “I do.” Shadow weddings are a way for each partner to take responsibility for the baggage they’re bringing into the union. It’s a way to make sure you’re in love with a person’s darkest side before you commit to their best parts.

“In a conscious marriage you openly acknowledge the fact that you, like everyone else, have negative traits.” ~ Harville Hendrix

The name refers to “shadow material,” the dirty truths each person must present about themselves in the form of vows, like “I vow to never do the dishes when I’m tired,” or, “I vow to call my girlfriends and complain about you instead of bringing the issue directly to you,” for example. The point is not to celebrate the darkness, but to recognize that it’s there, that it’s part of the deal, whether you want it or not.

Most shadow weddings are held at night, and many couples opt to wear unattractive clothing, or sometimes, costumes. Sometimes there’s a bonfire, but every ceremony is personalized. The price ranges from $2,500 to $7,500, depending on how often you meet.

Performing a shadow wedding can’t guarantee a problem-free marriage, says Jessica Benson, but “larger problems arise when couples try to hide their faults.

When you tell the truth in your relationship, it becomes a part of your past. If you lie, it becomes a part of your future!

BONUS Articles: My Big Fake Wedding
Welcome to The Shadow Wedding Experience
At Shadow Weddings, Extra Baggage Is Encouraged
Speaking The Unspeakable: ‘Shadow Weddings’ Before The Big Day
Introducing Shadow Weddings, the New, Dark, and Brutally Honest Wedding Ritual

CelebrateIntimateWeddings

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Copyright © 2015 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: Cell: 480-205-3694. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Friday, October 26, 2012

Faux Pas or Trés Chic: “Male of Honor”?

Picture this…

Your moment has arrived; the man of your dreams has just proposed; you’re overcome with glee and in your mind you’re already picking out your bridal party. Of course your best friend is a forerunner for maid of honor;however, it’s never been more blaringly obvious to you now that your “BFF” isn’t a female.

In a world where gender roles are consistently changing, the issue of where your male friends fit into your wedding party should no longer be a pressing one. As a matter of fact, we would consider it trés chic to have a “male of honor” instead of a maid of honor. You’re already flooded with details like seating arrangements and which one of your bridesmaids hates having her arms out, so here are a few tips on how to tastefully include your best male friend in your wedding day without totally stressing you out. After all, it’s your day and it should be as stress-free as possible!

• Did we mention? It’s your day! It’s about what you want and who you want to be a part of your special day. Things shouldn’t come to a screeching halt just because your “BFF” happens to be male or because you want your older brother you’ve always admired to stand next to you when you take one of the most memorable steps in your life.

• Stick to gender-neutral titles. Instead of “bridesmaids” try “attendees” or “persons in waiting”. However, if your friend and your groom are comfortable with the title “man of honor” then by all means – go for it!

• Include your male friend in bridesmaids activities. If your guy pal won’t squirm when lingerie gifts are passed around and cosmos are served up in hot pink martini glasses – then more power to him! You should mention to him certain obligations are expected of him during wedding time but you don’t mind if he bails out of a few of the more “girly” outings/events.

• Never fear the awkward dance of the bridal party down the aisle! Your “male of honor” doesn’t have to walk down the aisle with another male from the groom’s party; he can escort another female attendee down the aisle if the numbers are uneven. Perhaps he can escort the bride’s mother down the aisle. If all else fails, he can simply have the spotlight and walk alone.

• Forget the sarcastic remarks being made about your buff “bestie” in a cocktail gown. Your male friend can wear a suit and still be photographed with the bridal party without spoiling the color scheme. His tie or shirt can match the colors of the bridesmaids dress or he can wear a boutonniere with the same arrangement as the bouquets of the other bridesmaids to keep the color palette flowing.

• Gifts for the modernized bridal party should be simple enough, instead of that darling Tiffany bracelet with the cute butterfly charm, opt for a bottle of his favorite brandy or a pair of sterling cufflinks (if he’s not the drinking type). Either way you know your friend the best, picking a gift for him should be the more relaxing side of choosing a male attendant.

• If all else fails and you want to make it very easy on yourself and your male friend, simply ask your groom if he can join the other groomsmen standing on his side and participating in groomsmen activities. That way your male friend can still be involved in every aspect of your special day without all the rearranging or raised eyebrows.

Copyright © 2012 – Sandals Luxury Included® Vacations. Vist the Sandals Wedding Blog. For more info about Sandals, click here!

Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Ombre Indulgence – The Newest, Hottest Trend in Weddings!

Filed under: Guest Authors,Trends — Larry James @ 7:00 am
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Desiree M. Mondesir, Guest Author

Ombre2Ombre is the newest, hottest trend in fashion and in weddings in general. You can apply to your hair and makeup, table decor, bridal attire, and much much more.

In case you’re not familiar with the term ombre, it is the fading of a color from light to dark or vice versa. [Ombre literally means “shaded” in French or graduated in tone.] It’s absolutely lovely if done right and we think you should definitely incorporate it in your wedding in some way! Let us know what you think about ombre!

BONUS Articles: Ombre Weddings
{Wedding Trends} : Ombre – Part 1
{Wedding Trends} : Ombre – Part 2

Larry’s Note: When it comes to color, design and style we could take this new trend in so many directions. The subtle or dramatic hue changes creates eye catching and interesting focal points whether it be for the wedding party, florals, food, cakes or decor.

Copyright © 2012 – Desiree M. Mondesir. Desiree M. Mondesir is CEO and Founder of Desired Assistance, a virtual writing and editing company founded in 2010, which allows her to aid others in meeting their literary needs and achieving their dreams. Desired Assistance Weddings (DA Weddings for short), is a new spin-off blog for “all things wedding”. Visit Desiree’s Blog! Also visit her Writing Blog!

Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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