It’s okay to cry at your own wedding. As a matter of fact. . . it often happens and is quite normal. Weeping is not uncommon. Getting married is an emotional moment. Many people tear up at weddings. Crying because you are happy is an amazing emotion. Here are a few tips that might help you be ready for such a moment.
1. Tuck a tissue in the middle of the bride’s bouquet. Usually the Maid (or Matron) of Honor holds the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony and she can be on alert for an emotional moment for the bride if it occurs. (The groom may get misty-eyed when when he sees his bride walking down the aisle) Or. . . wrap a a beautiful cloth handkerchief around the base of the bouquet, just in case. Your teary wedding hankie will be a keepsake you can pass on to daughters or loan to friends as their “something borrowed.” Not wearing a veil over your face makes it easier to take care of a falling tear if it happens. It also helps not to make eye-contact with anyone else who may be shedding a tear.
2. Put a clean handkerchief in the groom’s inside pocket. If the bride get’s emotional, it’s a nice touch for the groom to be ready to gently wipe away her tears.
3. Remember to breath. Emotional moments can often be cut short if you feel them coming on and will remember to slowly breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. You have to “think” about breathing this way. When you think of something other than what is causing this emotional moment (or what you may be nervous about) it short-circuits your brain. It really has a calming effect. Simply pause and take several really deep breaths and let them out calmly and coolly. Another trick is to press your tongue to the roof of your mouth (or tickle the roof of your mouth with it). Anything that distracts you will often work to slow down the tears.
4. Be prepared. If you think you might cry at your wedding, you probably will. Waterproof mascara or an eye makeup sealer is a great idea. Talk with your makeup artist. She will usually have some great ideas. Have the photographer take plenty of photos before the wedding to avoid your teary eyes and red nose. Bring a compact to touch up makeup or to retouch your makeup after the ceremony and before photos begin.
5. Do everything you can to eliminate stress during your ceremony. If you have written a few “Personal Promises” to say to each other, have the Wedding Officiant hand them to you on a card and “read” them to your partner. This is the time when most brides and grooms get choked up. You are less likely to cry if you don’t have to worry about memorizing them. NEVER memorize – Read! (Note: It is a good idea not to tell your partner what you will be saying. Let it be a nice surprise.)
Don’t try to stop the tears. If you think you are going to cry, just cry – go with it. If your voice is a little shaky and there were some sniffles – let it happen. Your guests appreciate moments like this. Never accept the notion that is is inappropriate to cry at your wedding. Get rid of the fear of “ruining your big day.” It’s okay to cry! Blubbering criers are the ones who spend the few minutes before tears insisting to themselves: “I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to cry.” All this does is make the tears begin to flow harder and messier. It helps to do your best to think of something other that what is causing this emotional moment. Never try to fight the tears. Let ’em flow.
Make sure your “Bridal Emergency Kit” has eye drops to clear any red eyes. Talk to your photographer and make sure she/he is able to airbrush any puffy red eyes away.
Also here is a tip for the fathers of the bride and groom. Remind them to tuck a clean handkerchief in their pocket for the mothers. Moms almost always cry at wedding.
You may be surprised to find that due to stage-fright, you may be too nervous to cry during the ceremony.
If you know you will cry and you feel you must absolutely not cry at your wedding, consider tear duct removal. (Just kidding!) The sad part is. . . you will never be able to cry ever again! 😉
BONUS Article: Why Do We Cry at Weddings?
Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 460 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.
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