Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Thursday, June 25, 2015

9 Ways to Guarantee S#x on Your Wedding Night

Rachel Morgan, Guest Author

According to an annual wedding survey carried out by top hen and stag party providers Chillisauce.com, only 33% of newlyweds have sex on their wedding night. So we’ve come up with 9 top tips to make sure you do…

1. Don’t drink excessively ~ Nerves and excitement can make it all too easy to quaff Champagne, but if you drink to excess you’ll be falling asleep before the first dance. Instead, aim to have a glass of water in between drinks, and switch to sparkling water or fruit juice by the end of the night to perk you up.

WEDdingNight2. Luscious lingerie is never a bad idea ~ We girls are well aware of the power of sexy lingerie. It can make you feel empowered, beautiful, and it boosts your self-esteem to no end. Be sure to wear some stunning wedding lingerie under your dress so you have a constant reminder of what to look forward to – especially the look on your new husband’s face when he sees you in bed later!

3. Bat those eyelashes ~ Don’t forget to flirt with each other during the day! You don’t want to do anything outrageous – but a coy look and a whisper in his ear can work wonders. Let him know with longing looks that you can’t wait until the day is done and you’re finally alone together.

4. Reflect on your day ~ We can’t say it enough – this day is about the two of you. With all the partying, eating, photographing and conversing, it can be difficult to get a moment alone. After the party is over, avoid running straight off to the bedroom. Instead, take a moment to reflect on the day. Running through what’s just happened will make you feel even more connected with your new husband.

5. Where’s your hubby? ~ It may sound ridiculous, but it is surprisingly easy to forget about your other half during the day. Whether you’re getting ready with your bridesmaids, posing for the photographer, or chatting to friends and family, all of this can take over and cause you to neglect each other. Of course, it’s not possible to remove yourself from the wedding necessities, but be sure to go through as much of the day as possible with your husband by your side.

6. Sleep well ~ You’re sure to be full of wedding jitters, but it’s important to get your solid eight hours of sleep the night before your wedding! A good night’s rest will make sure that you are revitalized and ready to last the whole day – and night!

7. Don’t sweat the small stuff ~ Your wedding is a day you’ve been planning for months… perhaps even years. It can be easy to allow minor details to become a source of irritation or even cause an argument or a tiff with your family, friends or new husband. Keep a level head and don’t let anything ruin your day – the most important thing is that you get married to the person you love.

8. Rose petals, anyone? ~ You’ve seen it in all the movies: rose petals on the bed, candle light, romantic music and an ice bucket with Champagne. Clichéd, right? Yes, of course it is – but clichés are clichés for a reason. Setting the scene in the honeymoon suite can make intimacy hard to resist.

9. Be realistic ~ Reckon you’re going to have the most mind-blowing sex of your life on your wedding night? It could happen… but probably not. No matter what you do during the day, the excitement of your wedding will have you both filled with adrenaline, the eating and drinking will have you both full, and the dancing, chatting and general activities of the day will have you both feeling drowsy. If you follow the above tips, romance is certainly on the cards for the end of the night, but chances are it won’t be ground-breaking sex. Instead, keep your expectations realistic and focus instead on the closeness and intimacy you feel with the man who is now your husband. And you never know – it could end up being your most exciting sex yet!

Is it okay to not have sex on your wedding night? ~ “Actually, recent wedding stats show that it’s completely normal to not have sex on your wedding night! And it’s not hard to see why. You’ve been up since sunrise getting your hair and make-up sorted, not to mention sipping on champagne from the early hours, (only because it calms the pre-wedding nerves, obviously), then proceed to standing on your feet pretty much all day long. All the excitement a bride and groom endure on their wedding day can be tiring, so really, there’s no surprise that over half of newly married couples end their wedding day in the classiest way possible: passing out.” ~ Leah Messenger

Larry’s NOTE: If the night after you exchanged your vows ended with an orgasm, consider yourself lucky: 52 percent of newlyweds say they didn’t have sex on their wedding night, finds a recent survey of 2,128 people by the U.K. coupon website Voucher Codes Pro.

BONUS Articles: 10 Sexy Ways to Make Your Wedding Night Very Special
Will Sex on Your Wedding Night Be Unforgettable or Should You Fugetaboutit?
Wedding Night Whoopee: Hot ‘n Heavy or Hype?
Honeymoon Q & A

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Copyright © 2015 – Rachel Morgan. Editor Rachel is Wedding Ideas Magazine’s big cheese, which is appropriate as she absolutely adores the stuff. When asked what was her favorite, she simply drifted off into a haze of cheddary thoughts. Now that’s true love.

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Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

the-archives2Click for Archives! ~ commentSubscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Saturday, November 29, 2014

10 Sexy Ways to Make Your Wedding Night Very Special

Filed under: Honeymoons,Intimacy — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Engaged couples spend lots of time planning for the big day, but not everybody plans well for the big wedding night. This time alone together after the festivities can be incredibly meaningful and romantic. Wedding preparations and celebrations, while exciting, are often stressful and tiring for couples, which can be a major turn-off in the bedroom, even on your wedding night.

The best prescription for romance could be to make your wedding night a leisurely one. It’s your first night together as wife and husband. Make it unforgettable with these intimate tips.

WeddingNight1. Let Him Carry You Across the Threshold ~ This romantic tradition, which dates from Roman times, when it was said to ensure good luck for the couple, is fun for both partners.

2. Turn Off Your Cell Phones ~ Who do you need to be talking to on your wedding night? Leave your computers at home. When you check in, it is also a good idea to ask the reception desk to hold your calls unless it is an emergency. Be sure to tell the hotel or resort that you are honeymooners. Most will have special surprises that fit the mood of the honeymoon.

3. Get Squeaky clean ~ Do yourself and your partner a favor and make sure that you’re squeaky clean and ready for whatever may come. Think about it – what did you do at the reception? You probably danced all night and consumed lots of alcohol in stuffy, hot clothing. A quick five minute shower will go a long way.

4. Sexy Lingerie ~ Wedding night lingerie can really help the mood. Make sure your undergarments are on point. Pack sexy and elegant lingerie to really impress your new hubby. Buying lingerie is an opportunity for a woman or a man to express their sexuality and men can express their preferences as to what they would like their bride to wear. Purchasing the right lingerie, not just the sexiest or most revealing must be a primary factor at the time of purchase. Guys: Surprise her with some satin skivvies.

5. Hot Hair ~ A great trend is to ask your hair and make-up artist on your wedding day how to recreate the look, or a different one, for when you go away.

6. Fill Your Room With Seductive Fragrance ~ Arrange to have a bouquet of flowers put by the bed, as well as scented candles. From sweet and seductive, to musky and alluring, choosing your scent can help create your mood… and his!

7. Raise a Glass ~ Ask your venue to make sure there is a bottle of Champagne waiting inside the bridal suite at the end of the day.

WeddingNightFUN8. Romantic Music – Set the Mood ~ Download your favorite love songs onto your iPhone or MP3 Player. Most hotels provide a docking station; check with them before you arrive or pack your own for that perfect ambiance!

9. Breathe… Relax… ~ A wedding night does not necessarily mean jumping into bed right away. Take things slowly. Savor this moment. Take a few minutes to talk about the magic of your wedding – the parts you loved the most, and how you feel about each other. Take some time to enjoy each other. Real intimacy in marriage is not just about sex. It’s about connecting in all areas – mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Kiss, hug, laugh, and love. The rest will come naturally

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10. Pamper Each Other ~ Give each other foot massages, and progress as slowly – or as quickly – as you like to a sensual full-body massage. Remember to pack the oils that you will need.

Bonus Tip: Go easy on the booze at your wedding reception. Alcohol can keep you from having really good wedding night sex! If you’re too exhausted or tipsy for foreplay (that is important, you know!), sex isn’t going to be so great. Your first time as a married couple should be special, and if you’re too beat to do anything more than to just go throught the motions, consider having your “wedding night” the next morning. You’ll still be in your wedding night bed, with the excitement and stimulated with the adrenaline of the day before, but you’ll be more rested.

You don’t have to have a perfect wedding night. In fact, most couples will tell you that they did not have a picture perfect wedding night. However, your wedding night can turn into a disaster if you haven’t done any prior planning. Some couples might even choose to practice celibacy in the run-up to their wedding. While this won’t be a choice for everybody, it could certainly help store up all that passion and make the wedding night be one to remember. Do something romantic and out of the ordinary for one another to show how happy you are to finally be married. Savor the romance, whether it leads to an evening of exciting sex or not.

One final note: Although, traditionally, women have been in charge of birth control, that paradigm has shifted over the past 50 years. Condoms, diaphragms, the pill… whatever you pick, be real honest about who is in charge of protecting the goods long before your wedding night encounter, or you might be celebrating a honeymoon baby in nine months.

If you plan ahead for your wedding night and follow some of these tips, you will find your sex life will be joyful, and if you keep things light and fun on your wedding night, your marriage will be off to a good start in the intimacy department.

BONUS Articles: Will Sex on Your Wedding Night Be Unforgettable or Should You Fugetaboutit?
Wedding Night Whoopee: Hot ‘n Heavy or Hype?
Honeymoon Q & A
Everything You Need to Know About Passports, & More

CelebrateIntimateWeddings

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Friday, May 10, 2013

Will Sex on Your Wedding Night Be Unforgettable or Should You Fugetaboutit?

Filed under: Honeymoons,Intimacy,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

Your wedding night is a very special occasion in ways more than one and you should do whatever you can to make it a memorable night. It’s your first night together as wife and husband. Planning for your wedding night is just as important as planning for the wedding and reception. It’s a night to be savored by the both of you. Plan ahead to make it a night to be remembered.

weddingnightbathYour wedding day is a often a stressful day with all the pressure, exhaustion and the expectations so be realistic in your approach… slow down. Take your time. Be realistic. It is an accepted statistical fact that these days, less than half of newlyweds consummate their union on the night of their wedding and often on the first night of their honeymoon. Why? Because they are so exhausted and emotionally drained from the weeks and the days that have preceded it that they just want to sleep and recover. What could happen is that one of you falls asleep, or isn’t in the mood. If they do, that is not a prediction of a doomed marriage. Spend the time relaxing and remembering how wonderful your wedding day was.

Wedding nights are only really steamy and romantic in the movies. It is wise to lower your expectations and just let it happen. Between the pressure, the exhaustion, and the alcohol you might have consumed at your wedding, this may not be the most amazing sex you’ve ever had. That’s okay. Cuddle. Do spoons. Rest up for another day. Your big day if over… time to relax and maybe just fall asleep in each other’s arms. That’s pretty sexy. Just try to enjoy whatever happens.

Anticipation is one of the key ingredients of making love. Premarital abstinence may help. Abstinence makes the loins grow stronger. For a period of time before the wedding, ban all sexual contact so that your desire for each other will build up until the wedding night. A week-long of celibacy might be a good idea.

Flirt with each other at your wedding and reception… then get frisky. It will help to arouse your desire for each other. Little things like holding hands, touching one another, etc., keep you focused on each other, and build anticipation as the wedding night approaches. Even in the presence of other people do not hesitate to let your partner know that you are looking forward to being intimate together later. Enjoy this moment with a wink, send them a kiss and tell them that you love them. Plan to sneak away during your reception to have a little alone time. Have your disc jockey/wedding entertainer plan a few things to involve the guests… for 15 or 20 minutes they probably won’t even notice that you are missing.

Bride-and-groom-jumping-on-a-bedBe sure to plan ahead to ensure that you have transportation readily available after the reception to take you to your wedding night hotel. Let you family and friends be assigned to transport any gifts, etc., to your home… not you.

Romantic tradition has it that the groom should carry his wife over the threshold. Have children? Hire a trusted friend to watch the kids. Make sure you reserve a beautiful suite at a hotel. Never go the “cheap” route and go home after the wedding. Hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. Also don’t leave for your honeymoon right after the wedding. Sleep in. There’s nothing remotely sexy about waking up at 5:30 a.m. to catch an early flight. Breakfast in bed is a great idea. Remember to ask for a late check out at the hotel.

Next… relax. Plan a CD with some of your favorite soft music. No Cell phones or TV tonight… not even to check the scores. Order room service. With all the mingling, taking pictures, dancing, cutting the cake and giving a speech at your receptions, some couple are to busy to eat or enjoy their reception meal. Take some time to talk about the parts you liked best of your wedding day. Focus on each other. Highlight the special moments of your life together so far.

kissthebrideNOTE for the guys: Be gentle. Be romantic. This is the night to get very, very intimate. Go very, very slow. Pace yourself. Don’t be a two-minute wonder! Never feel any pressure to thunder into the hotel room and start rattling the bed posts. Skip the clichés and tell her what it really feels like to be laying next to the woman of your dreams on the most magical night of your life. Remember, intimacy is not only about sex. This is a great time to talk about how you truly “feel” about your partner. That is intimacy too.

There is nothing better than perfect ambiance. Have the hotel staff sprinkle rose petals on the bed, around the floor, and scatter lots of lit candles everywhere. Order chocolate-dipped strawberries. The room must smell of fresh fragrance. Scent can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Take a luxurious bubble bath together. Good hygiene is hot. Have some bed-side breath mints handy. Make this night special.

A survey of brides and grooms by Brides.com ask the question: “How was the wedding-night sex?

• 61% ~ Awesome
• 21% ~ Meh!
• 13% ~ Didn’t happen
• 5% ~ Reproductive

SideNote… Don’t ask friends to decorate your hotel suite. Some think it’s funny to “short-sheet” your bed or to play practical jokes on your wedding night. Not a good time to be funny. Romance is the rule of the night.

It’s often easy to spot a couple who definitely will not be making love on there wedding night. Most likely it has to do with a little too much social lubrication. Ease up on how many drinks you consume. Lay off the shots. Your wedding night should be memorable… that means you need to remember it. Alcohol affects your libido. Missing out on making love and waking up with a hangover is never a great way to begin the rest of your life together.

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“Bliss out in the tub. Prepare beforehand for a romantic bath. Think rose petals, massage oils and candles, as well as sponges or loofahs to wash each other with. Just turn the water on and enjoy.” ~ Michelle Bender

To tired for wedding night whoopee? Wait until the morning. Perhaps morning-after sex might be a better idea.

The wedding night marks the beginning of a new responsible life together and is extremely significant in the life of each of you. Your wedding night may not be the best night of your lives but it is the starting point of a life that can turn out to be a wonderful life together. Perhaps the best promise you can make to one another is to get through the day together and turn your focus on the marriage that lies ahead.

BONUS Article: 10 Sex Tips for a Magical Wedding Night
Wedding Night Whoopee: Hot ‘n Heavy or Hype?
What Really Happens on the Wedding Night

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (96 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Sunday, February 3, 2013

What Does it Take to Have a Healthy Sexual Relationship?

Once married, there is more at stake. So why would you pay less attention to your lover’s needs once the prize has been won? The bonding of two hearts continues long after marriage. It takes diligent effort and a committed love for you to continue to stir the sparks and keep the fire burning. Getting married is just the beginning.

So… What does it take to have a healthy sexual relationship? It takes a relationship with unwavering commitment, a passion for life’s sexual journey and a dedication to the processes to go from boring sex to bliss in the bedroom.

Couple-in-bedIt requires dedication to pleasure;
• learning to be intentionally spontaneous;
• developing the ability to communicate openly and honestly your most secret sexual desires;
• the willingness to be a student of great sex; the discipline to stay in the moment when being sexually intimate;
• the daring to experiment;
• an attention to hygiene;
• the generosity to consider your lover’s pleasure before your own or the esprit de corps to decide whether you go first or reach orgasm together;
• the keenness of mind to recognize the value of making love vs. only having sex;
• the gusto to be energetic or the sensitivity to passionately lie motionless together;
• the wit to not always take yourselves so seriously, to laugh, to play and to experience whatever is sexually fun;
• the insight to negotiate agreements and promises about how you will mutually care for your partner¹s needs in the sexual arena;
• the courage to ask for the variety of pleasure you want and
• the deserve and the respect to honor your lover’s right to say no without consequence.

Avoid selective sharing. When you are talking about making love with your love partner, share what is really in your heart. Say what you want. Have an agreement to listen without judgment. The agreement must include the right to not participate in something you consider not right for you, but without making a big deal out of it or criticizing your lover for speaking what he or she would like to try. Just say no. Or say, “Yes! Let’s try that!”

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It may be difficult at first to share your sexual desires, but remember, each time you do, it will not only give you more freedom to naturally express what you want, most likely it will also be an incredible turn-on for your lover. Talking about making love with someone you love and being authentic about your desires is verbal foreplay.

When you place a high value on your sexual relationship, you will find more pleasure in it. When you are both energetic in your pursuit of it, bells ring! Be intentional about striving for ways to improve it. When you can freely express with words what making love with your love partner is like, how it feels, and what you would like to try next time, then you can explore together the erotic treats that God has given you the choice to create. You must learn to continue doing those things that you do together that keeps your love alive. Anything of value must be managed to stay in existence.

There is nothing more romantic than a marriage in which the spark still flickers and, more importantly, ignites on a regular basis. Just because you are married does not mean you have to stop acting like lovers. Passion does not stay alive by itself. Neither does love. A garden unattended does not explode into color; it withers and dies. Love and passion must be nurtured. If you expect love and passion to continue to burn as an unattended fire, you will both burn out.

Commitment must be renewed. Love must be rekindled. The true romantics are those who continually work together to maintain the love and passion that brought them together in the first place. While the pursuit is exciting and fun in the beginning, the responsibility each partner has of investing time and energy to supporting a healthy and prosperous marriage on a continuing basis is undeniably more important than hoping that things work out while giving far less effort than you spent on winning your partner’s hand. Holding on to it is the key.

BONUS Article: 15 Hot Ideas for Phenomenal Physical Intimacy!
Red Hot LoveNotes

redhotCopyright © 2013 – Larry James. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
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Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

What Happens to Sex After Marriage?

Lori & Bob Hollander, Guest Authors

Most people would agree that sex after marriage changes. It’s easy to see why. If you ate crème brulee once in a while you’d look forward to it, dream about it, desire it. But if you had it every night, well, it would be less exciting. You’d take it for granted.

After marriage, life settles into a routine. Couples become more comfortable, some let themselves go.

Hormones and bodies change, sex becomes less of a priority and new responsibilities abound. Everything comes before sex – careers, children, housework, meals, laundry and bills. Energy is stretched, time becomes a precious commodity. When you can catch a breath, you wonder, how connected are we? Am I still attractive to him? Will I get rejected if I ask for sex and on and on.

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It’s vital for couples to recognize and understand the reasons that sex after marriage will inevitably change. So what is a couple to do?

• Most importantly, talk about it, take it on, address it, communicate
• Go on dates to focus on each other and reconnect
• Do connecting acts of love every day
• Carve out time for sex and schedule it if you have to
• Plan short trips to get away from the routine
• Remember studies show, “the more you do it, the more you’ll do it.”

Sex in a committed relationship is a crucial part of the head, heart, hormone connection. With consciousness, communication and caring, loving intimacy in a committed relationship can last forever. And, by the way, it gets better after the kids launch, that is, if you have stayed connected. So hang in there.

Red Hot LoveNote… There is no such thing as a natural born lover. Learning how to make extraordinary love is something that takes practice. People who want their sex lives to be great are most likely happy to hear this. Learn more. Do more. Have more fun. Take your sexuality to new heights. There is always something new to learn about sex. That something new always feels good. Discover things together. Making love is a lot more fun that way. ~ Larry James, from the book, “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers”

Copyright © 2013 – Lori & Bob Hollander. Lori Hollander, LCSW-C, BCD, and Bob Hollander, JD, LCSW-C, are licensed counselors and co-founders of Relationships Work, an innovative therapy practice and online resource center. Together, they encourage couples to consciously co-create their relationships in order to achieve a deeper, more intimate connection. You can visit Relationships Work online at: http://www.RelationshipsWork.com. Follow them on Facebook.

CLoveLOGOLarry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateLove.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateLove.com and CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles and “LoveNotes” listed in this BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Monday, December 19, 2011

Hey, Guys! Want Closer Intimacy in Your Marriage?

Filed under: Intimacy,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 8:00 am
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A recent survey by the Kinsey Institute of 1,009 committed heterosexual couples reveals just how important it is for couples to be physically affectionate, especially in long-term relationships.

DoingSpoonsScientists found women were more likely to be sexually satisfied overall if they frequently cuddled with and were kissed by their partner – even if sex didn’t immediately follow.

Every woman is an affectionate and sexual being by nature. However, like flowers in a garden, these dimensions of her personality can fully blossom only in a healthy and loving environment. Your partner will be more inclined to feel sexual desire for you if you have developed a solid spiritual and emotional relationship with her.

I once asked the husband in a coaching session if he really loved his wife and his rather indignant response was, “She knows I love her!” His wife rolled her eyes and said, “Of course I know you love me, but it would be nice if you told me once in a while.”

sexy coupleBoth women and men love to be told, “I love you” (out loud) often.

Guys… pay attention! Physical attention is one of the best ways to communicate your feelings to the one you love.

As you navigate your way through the countless choices you have to shower love on your partner be generous with your cuddles. Do spoons! Give her a spontaneous foot rub. Hold hands. Flirt. Whisper, “I love you!” Bring her flowers for no special reason. Give her frequent hugs. Be sensitive to her needs.

Most men get equal pleasure from giving physical affection as well as from giving it.

I repeat… PAY ATTENTION! Use your imagination. Touching is essential to feeling connected and loved, whether it is taking your partner’s hand, putting your arm around her or rubbing her shoulders and back. Let your feelings show. Frequently let her know she is your one and only. Demonstrate your love, not just when you want sex.

Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers book cover

Click cover for info

From a woman’s perspective: “Think of it as building a fire. You light the kindling, and slowly, at the right moment, place each new log onto the flames, allowing the embers to become hot and glowing, until eventually, the fire is blazing. This is how it is for our bodies. Each caress, each embrace kindles the fire of desire within our bodies, and our passion slowly builds until we burn with longing for you. You wouldn’t expect a fire to be burning strongly after just striking a match and placing a fresh log upon it. In this same way, know that you cannot expect us to be “ready” on Saturday night if you have not even touched us or loved us all week long.” ~ Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D

Always remember, if she is happy… well, you know! 😉

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
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Monday, October 24, 2011

Wedding Night Whoopee: Hot ‘n Heavy or Hype?

Filed under: Honeymoons,Intimacy,Wedding Night Sex — Larry James @ 11:50 am
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Sorry to say, but according to the brides and grooms who were willing to share in a brief, unofficial survey with me… making love on their wedding night is mostly hype, especially the hot ‘n heavy type!

Planning a wedding and all the things that are connected to it, eg., bridal showers, sending invitations, the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, and finally the wedding day – with the cocktail party and the reception – can leave a couple nearly completely drained, exhausted and making love on their wedding night is the farthest thing from their minds – (for most, anyway!).

coupleinbedAND… for those who did, most admitted that that they could have been very easily talked out of it. One couple told me that they abstained for several weeks leading up to the wedding day so they could be ready for action and admitted that they were so exhausted from the wedding day that it wasn’t quite as pleasurable as they expected. Most were simply too pooped to be amorous. One bride told me, “I would never risk choosing a partner for life without knowing if we are sexually compatible. We had fun getting to know each other sexually (condoms, of course) about a year after we became engaged. Foreplay is a very important part of making love.”

About one in three brides-to-be expect to hop in the sack and snooze after the wedding reception. According to TheKnot.com, “About one third of all ages spend the wedding night opening gifts, sleeping, counting cash presents, partying with friends.” It’s not at all uncommon – in fact its very common – for newly married couples to be so tired on their wedding night that one or both immediately fall asleep so making love doesn’t happen till the next day.

I bring this up because after talking with newly married couples, most had not discussed their wedding night plans before the wedding. This is a subject that you really need to talk about. If you both agree, it could be a great idea to wait until the morning when you have more time and energy to enjoy making love – then your wedding night intimacy issue is resolved!

So, what the next best thing? How about planning an early afternoon wedding and after the reception take some alone time to rest, relax and reminisce about the day as you cuddle in each others arms. Swap some of the highlights of your wedding day and take a nap. You can plan for your romantic interlude later that evening when you have regained your energy and can take the time to focus solely on each other. Anticipation about what will happen later can only heighten your arousal.

Perhaps a better idea: hold the sexy lingerie, lovely candlelight, a glass of wine and a gorgeous room for the night after your wedding. It’ll be more fun after you had a little rest. In the meantime you can open gifts, make notes about who gave you what and begin to write your “thank yous.”

Long wedding receptions often morph into a night of revelry and celebration. The big day can become a blur. Romantic sex then can be the farthest thing from your mind. Do your best to not be one who drinks so much at the reception that you don’t remember crawling into bed on your wedding night. That’s a no-no!

One bride told me, “Our wedding night was amazing. I have never had sex so good. I am even more amazed that it keeps getting better. We agreed to have no more than two drinks and although we were both tired we did the deed!” As long as you make sure you are both on the same page you should be okay. To do it, or not to do it – that is the question. It’s great fun getting to know each other intimately.

You can always make up for not making love on your wedding night on your honeymoon. A groom told me (with a big smile on his face), “We decided to wait until the second night of our honeymoon. After the wedding we were both exhausted. We left for Italy two days after the wedding, went to sleep in each others arms the first night and the second night…WoW!”

Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers book cover

Click cover for info

What about those couples who don’t believe you should have sex before you are married? It’s a personal choice. Every couple has to make the decision that is best for them. If you are in that camp, remember that while sex is a natural part of life, it’s a bit more complicated than you might think. Your first time doesn’t need to be adventurous and perfect, you have the rest of your life for that – just do everything you can to make it special. To have pleasurable sex together there is a “learning curve.” Don’t expect fireworks the first time. It may be wise to seek advice from a sex therapist, a marriage counselor, relationship coach or talk about it together with a trusted friend. Read a good book about sex. “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers” is a good one (if I do say so myself). The more you talk about it with each other, the better off you will be.

Guys… Drink in moderation. If you both agree to make love on your wedding night, you don’t want to have trouble rising to the occasion later. The main thing to remember is making your bride feel special. If you can do that, you’ve already succeeded.

BONUS Article: For Husbands Only – More Housework. . . More Intimacy!
Honeymoon. . . A Bit of Romantic History!

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Monday, February 14, 2011

For Husbands Only – More Housework. . . More Intimacy!

Filed under: For Men Only,Intimacy — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Feeling frisky. . . but no action! Okay, guys. . . pay attention!

coupleinbedConstance Gager, Ph.D., in a study of 6,877 married couples says, “For both husbands and wives, doing more work around the house increases the likelihood of having more intimacy together.

Possible reason: Spouses who divide the housework have more time and energy for sex. . . and working hard may signal a commitment to the home and marriage.

What to do: Share household work as well as other tasks in a way that satisfies both partners.”

poofLarry’s Note: Great idea!

Guys. . . it’s time to get serious about sharing the housework. Nowhere is it written that housework should be only and always a woman’s job. (And the wives all say, “Amen!”). Being hedonistic in the boudoir keeps love alive! Foreplay begins with taking out the garbage… without being asked!

Someone once said that women often fake orgasm because men fake foreplay! Couples who thrive in their experience of each other strive to seek the balance necessary for both to find mutual pleasure in their lovemaking. Both take full responsibility for getting what they want and giving what their partner needs.

washingdishes2A woman needs to “feel loved” to make love. Women need emotional support to be able to offer sexual release for a man. A man needs to “make love” to feel loved. Men need sexual release to be able to offer emotional support to women. Sexual communication is not only about expressing yourself. It is also about being received; being understood. Somewhere in between, there is balance.

Negotiate. Offer to meet the other half way to get your needs and the needs of the relationship met. Learn to respect and honor the differences. Vive la différence?

melissajillUntil you have the courage and the commitment to fully engage in your relationship, to be so intentional about it that it becomes the highest priority in your life, genuine intimacy cannot occur. Sexual intimacy of the highest order only occurs when the heat of passion melts the barriers around your hearts. With the freedom to pursue that special closeness only committed partners know, two hearts will meld together in a dance of Divine love.

The passion of your relationship and your commitment to it will express itself in all other areas of your life, with family, friends and business associates. It spills over into everything you do. Every joy shared brings more love and loving. The enthusiasm you have for loving one another shines for the whole world to see.

The love, irrepressible desire and passion you share have their way of expressing generously back into the relationship and to all those around you. Happiness is catching.

Partners who are committed to spreading the joy of a healthy relationship will be more intentionally inclined and confidently dedicated to continue to work together. An additional reward is experiencing the erotic pleasures that become available in the sanctuary of the boudoir.

BONUS Article:All The Single Ladies: 14 Ways to Enjoy Your Solo Valentine’s Day

SIDEnote: February 14th through 20th (2011) is Random Acts of Kindness Week. Guys. . . offer to do the housework for a week. Offer to pet sit or babysit. . . Have flowers delivered anonymously. . . Collect canned goods for a food bank. . . Return e-mail promptly. . . Pay for someone’s road toll (the car behind you). . . Talk with a homeless person. For more ideas, visit http://www.RandomActsofKindness.org (click on “Kindness Ideas!”).

Note: Constance Gager is Assistant Professor, Family and Child Studies at Monteclair State University in Montclair, New Jersey.

Photo Credit: The photo of the husband cooking was taken by Melissa Jill, Melissa Jill Photography.

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Ceremony. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 455 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

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