Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

How to Tell Guests Where Are You Registered

You should never include wedding registry info with your invitations! Never!

It is considered inappropriate to include in your invitations where you are registered. No guest should ever receive an announcement about your wedding registry: not with your invitations, via e-mail, or from a store. If the store offers to send a note, decline the offer. Instead, pass the word through family and friends. It’s okay to tell someone if they ask you or to let those who may host a bridal shower for you so they can tell those who attend.

WEDregistry2Guests often feel at a loss when choosing wedding gifts, and would prefer to purchase something you picked out yourself. Request a gift card to a nice restaurant for the bride and groom.

Some couples who do not wish to receive gifts, which is often the case with a second-time bride or groom, will provide the name of a charity organization to which wedding guests can contribute in lieu of buying a wedding gift for the couple.

Anna Post ~ great-great-granddaughter of etiquette guru Emily Post and author of Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette. Here is what she had to say about wedding registries:

“There’s a funny catch about wedding gift etiquette: If you’re invited to a wedding, you’re expected to give a gift, regardless of whether or not you attend. But in order to keep the focus on your guests rather than the gifts, registry information should never be included with the wedding invitation. That goes for any enclosures, too. Some stores give out little “We are registered at this store” cards for you to oh-so-conveniently include with your invitations — but don’t. Any mention of the registry on or with the invitation is like saying, “We hope you can come to the wedding. Now, about that gift we all know you’ll be sending…”

Good etiquette is also usually quite practical. I’m not a fan of fussy rules for their own sake, but this is one case where I think the extra effort is worth it. Without a wedding website, word of mouth is your best and only option that isn’t on the tacky side. Tell your close friends, family and your wedding party where you’re registered. This isn’t grasping for gifts — it’s how registry information has always been shared. Say, “If any other guests ask you [which they very well might], we’re registered at _____.”

It’s also entirely likely, and perfectly okay, that guests will ask you directly where you’re registered. Let them know, “We’re registered at XYZ store, but anything you choose would be wonderful. Thank you!” As a bride planning her wedding right now, I’ve gotten that question quite a bit lately, which means my fiancé and I better hurry up and figure out our registry soon!

It is, however, okay to include registry information with bridal shower invitations. The point of the shower is that you are getting gifts; thus it’s okay, and convenience wins. The host can include the registry information with the shower invitation. This is the right place to put those little store-provided registry cards to use, or to include a slip of paper with the information.

Some shower hosts don’t include registry information at all, and instead, only share it with those guests who RSVP “yes”. Though it’s not required, some shower guests who can’t attend might like to send a gift anyway, so I think it’s nice to include the information with the [shower] invite.

If you do choose to have a wedding website, adding the site to the enclosures sent with the invitation can be a nice bridge. Simply include the web address along with any maps or directions. When guests check the site, the registry information will be there. It’s a step removed, but I think it’s a step worth taking.” ~ Anna Post

Conclusion: Good ol’ word of mouth is best!

BONUS Article: For Guests Only – Wedding Gift Suggestions for the Bride and Groom

Copyright © 2015 – Anna Post. Emily Post Weddings – from old traditions to new trends, The Emily Post Institute has over 90 years of offering trusted inspiration, advice, and etiquette for couples, families, and guests. Visit: http://www.EmilyPost.com/wedding

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Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

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NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Friday, December 19, 2014

For Guests Only – Wedding Gift Suggestions for the Bride and Groom

What do you buy? How much do you give? Should you use the registry? Is cash okay? We thought should look at things from the guest’s perspective. Here are a few tips when buying wedding gifts for the bride and groom:

Your first go-to is the wedding registry. If the bride and groom have a registry you could begin there. Do you have to choose a gift from a registry? No. A registry is for your convenience and you are not limited to what is on the list. It’s there for a reason. This is where the couple is telling you what they really want and need. Ideally, you’ll be able to find a gift within your budget that you’re excited to give.

GuestWedGiftsWhat do you do if the registry is picked through and there is nothing “good” to buy? Or worse yet, what if you can’t afford the remaining items? Read on, we have a few ideas for you…

Cash also works. Contributing cash versus using a traditional wedding registry is a great option that allows you to control the amount spent. This is a highly debated issue, and while some guests have no problem giving cash, whether it’s through an online service or an envelope at the wedding, some still find it a little taboo. It may put your mind at ease to know that many couples prefer cash, and while they may not feel comfortable asking for it, a cash contribution would be much appreciated. In some cultures, this is the norm. It’s expected and preferred by everyone involved. On average the typical cash gift is around $150. Can’t give that? Give what you can afford with and open heart and a while lotta love!

Make what you give meaningful. If you choose to skip past the registry and don’t want to give cash, be sure to ask yourself these questions before purchasing a boxed gift:

• Is it meaningful in some way to the couple?
• Is it a gift you know they really want?
• Is it a gift you know they really need? (According to them, not you!)
• Will they love it?
• Is it meaningful in some way to you?

If you answered yes to 3 out of 5 questions, then you’re on the right track. Another thought. Be sure your gift suits their personalities, and they’ll see it as the thoughtful gift you intended to give.

Second marriages require more thought as to what to give. If it’s the number-two “I do” for the bride, the groom, or both, a second-time couple probably doesn’t need many of the traditional registry items. No one needs two toasters. Since they already have most of the basics, you can have fun buying them cool new gadgets and appliances, season tickets to their favorite sport, tickets to a play, musical, or the ballet, or a dinner cruise. Use your imagination.

Preferably, send the gift to the bride before the wedding or to the couple soon thereafter. Gifts are often brought to the reception and placed on a special table. Contrary to popular belief, you do no have a year to send a gift. Waiting a year after attending a wedding can be considered “rude.” A gift should be sent right away or at least within three months of the wedding.

CashisOkayThough it’s not obligatory, proper etiquette suggests it’s a nice gesture to send a gift and a note even if you can’t attend the wedding, particularly if you know the couple well.

When wedding guests ask, “Where are you registered?” direct them to a honeymoon travel registry. A honeymoon registry is a trendy alternative to a traditional wedding registry and allows your guests to help you to achieve your dream honeymoon vacation by purchasing pieces of the trip as a wedding gift. It is a relatively new and exciting concept that began in the 1990s as an additional service. Check out: Travelers Joy Honeymoon Registry.

Whatever you decide to give the couple, don’t stress over it too much because in the end, it’s the thought that counts

What do you do if you haven’t received a thank you note from the bride? Awkward! It is certainly okay to call and ask the couple if they received your gift. If you find this too awkward and the gift was sent from a store, you can call the store and have it traced. Just as a gift should be sent right away or within three months of a wedding, a thank you note from the bride and groom should also be written right away or, at the very least, within three months of receiving a gift.

One tip for the bride:

1. It is NEVER okay to include any mention of gifts with your invitation. It comes across like you’re expecting a gift.

BONUS Articles: Tips to Save Money as a Wedding Guest
How to Tell Guests Where Are You Registered

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Lots of Wedding Ideas on: Larry’s Pinterest Page

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