Recently I had a meeting with a bride and groom and we were talking about all the details that can make a difference in making their ceremony boring or memorable for their guests.
I made a suggestion about doing something a little different than the traditional way and asked them what they thought about it. The bride turned to the groom and said, “I think that is a great idea! What do you think, honey?”
Opps! Bad move! No bonus points for him!
It’s important to start your marriage off on the right foot. If you are a groom, I hope you don’t make this mistake. You make “think” this, but don’t you dare say it aloud. A groom’s role in his wedding is as important as his brides. Showing an interest in planning the wedding that will make you wife and husband will go a long way in demonstrating your love for her. Every bride I know wants to know that you do care and she wants your informed input in putting it all together. You don’t need to be a “yes” man. If there is something you would rather not do or have at your wedding, say so, and express your opinion in the most loving way. Don’t be crude and rude.
Please understand… a wedding is not just about her. Planning a wedding is a team sport! This is no one-woman show. A successful marriage involve two people. So does the planing of the wedding. You have duties far beyond just showing up on time and bringing the ring. She “needs” to know you’ve got her back! She doesn’t need the pressure of doing it alone. She needs you to be a part of this very special day.
Planning a wedding is a tremendous undertaking. It requires working together, patience, lots of time, dedication, and plenty of hard work. She needs your help, so pitch in! There’s a lot expected of you. Show some initiative and handle your groom responsibilities in advance, don’t put everything off until the last minute.
The groom chooses his groomsmen and best man and picks their attire. He buys thank-you gifts for his attendants and for the bride. He arranges and pays for the marriage license and the officiant’s fee and gratuity, and he reserves a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. For more complete list of the groom’s duties, click here!
Your Best Man is your man-slave. 😉 Part of your duties is to coach him on his duties and make sure he follows through. There is a book your Best Man should read, “A Gentleman Walks Down the Aisle: A Complete Guide to the Perfect Wedding Day” by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis. They suggest a few traditional duties for the Best Man:
• Assist in coordinating pickup of formalwear rentals for the groom’s attendants
• Supervise planning of the bachelor party
• Participate in the rehearsal and offer a toast to the bride and groom at the rehearsal dinner, as well as at the wedding reception. Larry’s NOTE: First things first. When a toast is given TO the Bride and Groom they will be seen raising their glasses and drinking to themselves. Wrong!! Proper etiquette says that during a toast “to” the Bride and Groom, the couple should NEVER stand, raise their glasses, or drink to themselves. This is construed by etiquette mavens as patting yourself on the back. Instead, they should stand and respond with thanks or by offering another toast. Suggest that the Best Man read: “Toasting Like a Pro!”
• Show up on time, properly dressed for any photo shoots
• Make sure the groom is properly dressed and on time
• Take responsibility for the bride and groom’s rings on the day of the ceremony
• Serve as a legal witness to the signing of the marriage license, if requested
• Coordinate return of attendants’ formalwear the day after the wedding.
I would add one more thing for the groom. Make a honeymoon packing checklist. This will get you started:
❏ Airline tickets/itinerary
❏ Hotel reservation confirmation
❏ Traveler’s checks
❏ Credit cards
❏ Contact info for key numbers back home.
❏ Prepaid phone card (you might not have cell service)
❏ Read: “Packing for a Honeymoon?”
Take it from us, grooms: The more you are involved in the planning of your wedding, the better the “first kiss” at the wedding! 😉
BONUS Article: Here Comes the Groom! – A Call to ACTIVE Duty!
Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.
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