Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Grooms… Listen up!

Filed under: Groom's Duties,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 8:30 am
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Recently I had a meeting with a bride and groom and we were talking about all the details that can make a difference in making their ceremony boring or memorable for their guests.

I made a suggestion about doing something a little different than the traditional way and asked them what they thought about it. The bride turned to the groom and said, “I think that is a great idea! What do you think, honey?”

groomsDUTIESHe shrugged his shoulders and said, “I couldn’t care less. It doesn’t make any difference to me.” She was obviously disappointed.

Opps! Bad move! No bonus points for him!

It’s important to start your marriage off on the right foot. If you are a groom, I hope you don’t make this mistake. You make “think” this, but don’t you dare say it aloud. A groom’s role in his wedding is as important as his brides. Showing an interest in planning the wedding that will make you wife and husband will go a long way in demonstrating your love for her. Every bride I know wants to know that you do care and she wants your informed input in putting it all together. You don’t need to be a “yes” man. If there is something you would rather not do or have at your wedding, say so, and express your opinion in the most loving way. Don’t be crude and rude.

Please understand… a wedding is not just about her. Planning a wedding is a team sport! This is no one-woman show. A successful marriage involve two people. So does the planing of the wedding. You have duties far beyond just showing up on time and bringing the ring. She “needs” to know you’ve got her back! She doesn’t need the pressure of doing it alone. She needs you to be a part of this very special day.

Planning a wedding is a tremendous undertaking. It requires working together, patience, lots of time, dedication, and plenty of hard work. She needs your help, so pitch in! There’s a lot expected of you. Show some initiative and handle your groom responsibilities in advance, don’t put everything off until the last minute.

The groom chooses his groomsmen and best man and picks their attire. He buys thank-you gifts for his attendants and for the bride. He arranges and pays for the marriage license and the officiant’s fee and gratuity, and he reserves a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. For more complete list of the groom’s duties, click here!

Your Best Man is your man-slave. 😉 Part of your duties is to coach him on his duties and make sure he follows through. There is a book your Best Man should read, “A Gentleman Walks Down the Aisle: A Complete Guide to the Perfect Wedding Day” by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis. They suggest a few traditional duties for the Best Man:

• Assist in coordinating pickup of formalwear rentals for the groom’s attendants
• Supervise planning of the bachelor party
• Participate in the rehearsal and offer a toast to the bride and groom at the rehearsal dinner, as well as at the wedding reception. Larry’s NOTE: First things first. When a toast is given TO the Bride and Groom they will be seen raising their glasses and drinking to themselves. Wrong!! Proper etiquette says that during a toast “to” the Bride and Groom, the couple should NEVER stand, raise their glasses, or drink to themselves. This is construed by etiquette mavens as patting yourself on the back. Instead, they should stand and respond with thanks or by offering another toast. Suggest that the Best Man read: “Toasting Like a Pro!
• Show up on time, properly dressed for any photo shoots
• Make sure the groom is properly dressed and on time
• Take responsibility for the bride and groom’s rings on the day of the ceremony
• Serve as a legal witness to the signing of the marriage license, if requested
• Coordinate return of attendants’ formalwear the day after the wedding.

I would add one more thing for the groom. Make a honeymoon packing checklist. This will get you started:

❏ Airline tickets/itinerary
❏ Hotel reservation confirmation
❏ Traveler’s checks
❏ Credit cards
❏ Cash
❏ Passport
❏ Contact info for key numbers back home.
❏ Itinerary
❏ Prepaid phone card (you might not have cell service)
❏ Read: “Packing for a Honeymoon?

Take it from us, grooms: The more you are involved in the planning of your wedding, the better the “first kiss” at the wedding! 😉

BONUS Article: Here Comes the Groom! – A Call to ACTIVE Duty!

CelebrateIntimateWeddings

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Saturday, November 30, 2013

Brides Want Grooms to Be More Involved in Planning the Wedding!

Filed under: Groom's Duties — Larry James @ 8:30 am
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The groom-to-be won’t care about things you thought he would

From planning the menu (shrug) to picking the music (yawn), your guy’s uninterested reactions even to the “fun stuff” might catch you off guard and bum you out. After all, these are the things you were sure he’d enjoy – so what will this mean for all the not-so-fun details?

ReluctantGroomSolution: Ask him what he wants to do and then listen. He may not be as disinterested as he’s acting. It’s possible that you’ve overridden his opinions one too many times and his pride is hurting. Of course, he may just have no interest in wedding planning at all.

Can you make peace with it, temper your expectations and give him a few to-dos? Or can you live with him just handling the honeymoon and the music? Remember, you’re marrying this guy. He needs to be a good husband – not a good wedding planner.

The groom-to-be will care about things you never dreamed he would

Whether it’s the color of paper stock for the invites or a preference for a certain species of peony, your man will give you at least one case of the what-the-what’s by expressing strong feelings about something totally unexpected and out of character. Even cooler? His new interest might be a shock to him too!

Solution: As the saying goes, if it ain’t broke…. Why not raise a glass to a lifetime of more quirky little surprises from your man? That said, if he’s venturing into groomzilla territory (it happens), divvy up the decision-making tasks so you can each be master of your own domains.

BONUS Articles: Listen Up Guys! – Planning a Wedding is a Team Sport!
Hey Guy! Getting Married? – Don’t Be Clueless!
Here Comes the Groom! – A Call to ACTIVE Duty!
Grooming the Groom! Staying on Track for the Big Day!

Copyright © 2013 – TheKnot.com. Read more: “25 Things No One Tells You About Wedding Planning.”

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CelebrateIntimateWeddings

Click logo to go to Wedding Website!

Larry James is a professional speaker, author, relationship coach and an award winning nondenominational Wedding Officiant. He performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere. Something NEW about relationships is posted every 4th day on this Relationships BLOG.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

Friday, July 6, 2012

Listen Up Guys! – Planning a Wedding is a Team Sport!

I know – I’ve said it before, but you grooms really need to pay attention! It often seems that women tend to do more than their fair share of the work when it comes to pulling off the perfect wedding. Teams of one don’t work very well. Wedding planning isn’t just for brides.

couple-doing-contractsMore than once recently when I heard the bride ask the groom for his opinion he answered, “Whatever you want,” or “It doesn’t matter to me,” or (worse of all) “I really don’t care.”

Guys, the bride wants you to care. When you partner thinks you don’t care she usually gets disappointed or annoyed or pushy. And guess where that began. Many men display a disappointing level of apathy when it comes to wedding planning. That’s a bad way to get your marriage started.

When she asks for your input she sincerely would like to hear your opinion. You’re engaged so GET ENGAGED in the planning of your wedding. Your degree of participation is a test of your teamwork – maybe even how you will work together after the ceremony and when you begin your life together. Your lack of involvement could be a red flag to her. It is important for engaged couples to work together on your weddings, because it will help to prepare you for what lies ahead. Working together as a team now, sets the tone for the marriage. Since marriage is about partnership, the wedding planning should be a partnership too.

Never be a groom who sits on the couch watching football, grunting random approval for her whirlwind of ideas for invitations, favors, flowers, music, guest lists, food, locations, dresses… well, you get the idea. There are colors to consider, flowers to choose, cakes to taste, vendors to meet and contracts to sign. This is definitely not a one person project. Pitch in. She needs your assistance. When she shows you a photo of a wedding dress she admires, give her input. When you take the initiative to help and realize how much she is grateful and appreciates you for it that will be your reward.

datebookShe needs you involved for several reasons. There are many decisions to be made during the wedding planning process, some of which can be very difficult. When she requests your opinion she is asking for your commitment to help her. She wants you to make everything happen “together.” You really need to be in on all of the details. It’s an opportunity for you to demonstrate teamwork.

If a decision needs to be made the day of the wedding, when the bride is in the limo on the way to the wedding venue, you better be ready to make a quick decision. Those decisions are usually time-sensitive and will not wait until the bride arrives. If you are engaged in the decision making from the beginning you will be aware of what’s going on and your opinion will be of value.

Your sweetheart needs your balance and perspective. Not participating can cause unneeded stress. She should not feel the weight of the entire responsibility for the entire event. Share the responsibility and share the stress. I believe that you should be asking her opinion about things too. “What do you think, dear?” Surprise her by asking if she would like to write some of your own wedding vows (I call these “Personal Promises“) for the wedding ceremony. Collaborate or write your own and let what you say be a surprise at the wedding (a better idea!).

spaCome to the wedding appointment with the Minister or Wedding Officiant. Help choose the wedding venue and go with her when she visits the other wedding vendors. She needs your input. Attend the Bridal Shows “together!” Having the groom involved with wedding planning is not a new phenomenon. Men who respect their partners go the extra mile – they fully participate.

Start planning the honeymoon. That should be right up your alley. Call Larry James for some very special ideas and savings for a Sandals Honeymoon! Once you decide on a destination that’s right for the both of you, work on a budget together. Surprise her with some of the details, eg., plan a special day at the spa, etc. Suggest that you take some dancing lessons together and put on a special show during the reception.

Don’t be clueless at your wedding! Don’t be a fiancée who’s sitting on the sidelines. Be part of the team! Make these important decisions together. Make a list and choose to help in the areas that best use your expertise. Many men are happy to pitch in with the planning in ways that allow them to best use their particular talents.

BONUS Articles: Grooming the Groom
How to Get the Most From a Bridal Show
Hey Guy! Getting Married? – Don’t Be Clueless!
Here Comes the Groom! – A Call to ACTIVE Duty!

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
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Sunday, May 27, 2012

Hey Guy! Getting Married? – Don’t Be Clueless!

Filed under: Groom's Duties,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 8:00 am
Tags: ,

Getting married – for a guy – is much more that picking out your tux, bringing the ring and show up at the wedding on time (and sober). 😉 Sorry, guys… but it’s really stupid to tell your bride, “Whatever you want, just do it!” or “I like all your ideas.” This is not just HER day, it’s your day as a couple! Weddings are not just a “girl thing.”

planningWeddingYour sweetie would like for you to be proactive in helping her plan the wedding (even if she says otherwise). Leaving it all up to her and her maid of honor (or heaven forbid, her mother) is just wrong. Not to get involved is a big mistake. Never, I repeat, never defer to your fiancée for all the planning. According to a 2007 survey of recently married couples by The Knot Wedding Network, the groom was significantly involved in planning: 36 percent of grooms were “very involved” and 57 percent of grooms were “somewhat involved.” Respondents to a GroomsOnline.com poll indicated similar numbers, with 38 percent of grooms “very involved” and over 60 percent “somewhat involved.”

Brides today often expect grooms to fully participate in the wedding planning process. But many men continue to display stereotypical aversion to all things wedding-related. PLEASE don’t be one of those guys. Ask yourself, what kind of team you want to be as a couple in planning your wedding. How do you want to do this together? Communicate.

The underlying goal is to get your marriage started on the right foot. You are a couple now – it’s about sharing responsibilities! The day is about the couple and not just the bride after all. Don’t get involved and you will look like a loser who let his woman do everything. What kind of message does that send to her and her family? Be completely involved. Go over every decision together.

It’s a given that you will need to choose your best man and the groomsmen. By the way, it’s considered a common courtesy to include your soon-to-be brother-in-law(s) in the wedding party. You might be smart to trade in night clubs and beer parties for golf outings, camping trips, and even a baseball game if you’re planning a bachelor party.

Don’t just help her when she asks for it, offer to take over certain duties and keep your word and – this happens a lot – don’t wait until the last minute to do what you promised. In other words, don’t be a procrastinator.

Stress-free?? Brides! Give the Groom a to-do list!

Attend all the vendor interviews “together,” especially the one with the Wedding Officiant. As a Wedding Officiant, I often spend anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 hours with couples talking about all the details of the ceremony – do the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk in together or separately, what are the seating arrangements for the parents of the bride and groom, are there additional “add-on” ceremonies like the “Blending of the Sands” that you would like to add, etc. Think about what you want to express as you exchange vows. Write some “romantic” words of your own to say to her during the ceremony. Go to the food tastings. Help with choosing the entertainment at the reception.

takebackwed

Click book cover & buy this book!

Think about this, guys! Most couples have no idea of all the various details of a wedding. There are literally hundreds of little decisions that need to be made when planning your wedding. Not knowing causes anxiety and stress. Show her you really care.

Do yourself a favor. Consider hiring a Wedding Consultant. The Wedding Consultant is often the first thing people cut from their budget. That is never a good idea! They know the details and can often get you special deals with the vendors they work with.

While you may not think wedding planning is fun, plenty of other people are usually happy to lend a hand. Reach out to your friends, family, and the bridal party for support.

The book, “Take Back Your Wedding” combines wisdom from the world of family therapy with a realistic picture of how couples and families behave under the stress of planning a wedding. Weddings bring out the best and worst in all of us because they combine romance, money, family and friend loyalties, jealousies, new in-law relations, and endless practical decisions, all played out publicly. With the book (on the right) you will better handle stress, avoid common pitfalls, enhance your relationships, and better launch a successful marriage. I highly recommend that you purchase this book.

The best advice I can give you guys is not to be a disengaged groom – take a serious interest in the decision-making process of planning your wedding. It’s important to work as a couple towards your big wedding day, to say nothing about your marriage.

BONUS Article: Top 10 Things Men Can Do to Get Involved with Wedding Planning
Wedding Planning Like a Man

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Here Comes the Groom! – A Call to ACTIVE Duty!

Filed under: Groom's Duties — Larry James @ 7:00 am

It’s safe to say that your bride-to-be has probably been dreaming of her wedding since she was a little girl. You are engaged and ready to take the next big step – plan for your wedding. I’ve noticed that today, many men are more interested in making the wedding a shared experience, a day for the bride and groom to celebrate – and be celebrated – together.

bridegroomholdinghandsGrooms – be an active part of this growing trend.

“According to recent statistics, 34% of the grooms participate a lot in the wedding planning and only 7% do not participate at all. The groom’s involvement in the wedding preparations has increased over time. Long gone are the days when the groom was only expected to propose and then say “yes” on the wedding day.” ~ StylishWeddingIdeas.com

Planning a wedding takes commitment, patience and is a massive undertaking, most likely bigger that you and your partner ever imagined. I highly recommend that you sit down together and decide who will be responsible for this and that and begin to set some deadlines. Women do some things better and men do some things better, so be sure to take that into consideration. You would be wise to begin planning your wedding at least one year to 18 months in advance. The best wedding vendors and venues book far in advance.

Once you decide who is doing what, make a commitment to follow-through and keep your word. Agree to hold each other accountable. You can’t call it nagging if you agree to it and your partner gives you a reminder. And don’t wait until the night before the deadline to begin. That causes stress. Take care not to turn into a groomzilla! Check out my Wedding Checklist. If will give you a good idea of when things need to be done.

Begin with with doing the numbers! What is your absolute limit on spending? Be sure you include hiring a wedding consultant in your budget. When I ask brides and grooms what kind of wedding they have envisioned and how they would like for their wedding to be remembered, most may have a vague idea but are not familiar with all of the many details and really are starving for information. That is why you must hire a wedding consultant. They know the approximate numbers, have valuable vendor contacts and can help greatly in reducing the stress of taking on this task alone.

I often hear man joking that their only duty is to show up and bring the ring. Nothing could not be further from the truth. That’s an interesting way to start off a marriage that is supposed to be about sharing responsibilities. I hear men say, “It’s her wedding. She can pick anything she wants. I don’t care. Whatever she decides. It doesn’t matter to me.” Don’t go there! First of all it’s not just HER wedding, it’s your wedding as a couple and she needs to hear that you really do care. Never leave it all up to her. She will appreciate your direct involvement with your wedding.

When planning, just don’t say “yes” to everything – only most things. Interject your opinion here and there to show her you really do care. If the normal protocol is followed, the groom is actually the person who gets the whole ball rolling for this amazing journey which culminates with your wedding day.

Once she says “yes” to your marriage proposal, expect to get to work right away. Here is the latest list of chores for you from Emily Post:

groomTakecharge• Select the engagement ring – although now-a-days brides may also be involved in choosing the engagement ring.
• Choosing his wedding party: best man, groomsmen and ushers
• Choosing the attire for the groom’s wedding party – in keeping with the style of the wedding
• Selecting thank-you gifts for his wedding party
• Arranging – and paying for – lodging for his wedding party
• Selecting a gift for the bride
• Compiling the groom’s part of the guest list and making sure that his parents provide their guest list.
• Planning the honeymoon – Today, this is more of a joint venture – (Call Larry James for some ideas!)
• Choosing wedding bands together
• Arranging for and purchasing the marriage license
• Making arrangements for transportation from the ceremony to the reception site, if necessary
• Planning the bachelor party or event (if applicable)
• Giving the wedding officiant the fee, and arranging for the best man to give the wedding officiant the gratuity
• Standing in the receiving line, if there is one, or – with the bride – being sure to greet all the guests at the reception
• Making toasts and responding to toasts at the rehearsal dinner and the reception
• Dancing the first dance with the bride, dancing with the couple’s respective mothers and the maid/matron of honor
• Cutting the cake with the bride

Okay, guys! It’s time to get busy. Whatever you do is one less thing for the bride to worry about. Don’t get too caught up in planning to forget about your sweetheart. Just because she said “yes” doesn’t mean you can cut back on the romance and courtship. Your wife-to-be will appreciate your efforts!

BONUS Articles: Grooming the Groom! Staying on Track for the Big Day!
Groom’s Wedding Planning Timeline: The Final Countdown
Wedding & Reception Gratuity Guide
Beware of “Cheap” Wedding Vendors!

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

Monday, December 14, 2009

Grooming the Groom! Staying on Track for the Big Day!

Filed under: Groom's Duties,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 8:00 am
Tags: ,

Alright, guys! Listen up!

When I talk to Brides in pre-wedding interviews, I heard women who seem overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for all of the details it takes to have a memorable wedding. It’s not just “her” wedding. It’s your wedding too! She needs your assistance! So. . . listen carefully.

You need to take an active interest in your wedding. Pitch in. Find out what you can do to help and don’t let your sweetheart bear all the responsibility. Put her on a pedestal. Let her be the center of attention. She deserves it. Never let her hear you say, “It doesn’t matter to me. Do whatever you want.” Your Bride will never fully understand why the wedding isn’t as big a deal to you as it is to her. Don’t bother trying to explain. This is the day to be her Prince Charming!

Roll up your sleeves and get busy. Wedding overload can be a real problem. Divide up jobs in advance – preferably, according to which parts you’re most interested in, then agree to run everything past each other before final decisions are made. Make it a joint venture. Attend the meetings with the minister, disc jockey, photographer, etc., as a team. You are in this together, so act like it.

Be romantic. You can do it. Leave a love note in her room on the morning of the wedding. Wake her up to her favorite song. Romantic surprises make the big day memorable. Be her personal chauffeur for a day of wedding errands. (P.S. Never stop being romantic. She will love you for it.) Send her mother flowers with a note telling her how happy you are to be marring her daughter. Take her father to lunch.

Pay attention to the details. Spit-shine your shoes. Gas the car. Several days before the wedding, get a haircut. Preparation is the key. Be ready for anything. No wedding is perfect. Today is the most stressful day of the Bride’s life. Roll with the punches and do what you can to keep your pretty lady from being stressed. Leave nothing to chance. Minimize the stress factor when the final countdown begins. Plan to do nothing the day of your wedding but get up, relax, have a light snack, then head to the venue to tie the knot.

It is the Groom’s responsibility to pay for the Bride’s bouquet. However, at the end of the evening the tradition is for her to throw it to the single women at the reception. A lovely touch might be to surprise her with another bouquet as your new wife in the honeymoon suite.

groomsmenHere is a list of the duties the groom typically handles:

• Marriage license
• Officiant’s fee & tip
Personal Promises or writing vows (if applicable) – Personal Promises Tutorial
• The bride’s wedding band
• The bride’s bouquet
• The bride’s gift
• The groom’s wedding day attire
• Gifts for the groomsmen, ushers and ring bearers
• Wedding day transportation
• The rehearsal dinner
• The honeymoon

Don’t wait until the week before your wedding to figure out what you’re going to wear. Short notice doesn’t work. Your formal wear should be purchased or reserved about 3 months before the wedding. Make sure you have decided beforehand if you will rent or purchase a suit and also find out which style will suit you best. Your formal wear should be purchased or reserved about 3 months before the wedding.

Send a detailed e-mail to your Groomsmen filling them in on the relevant details about the formal wear. Let them know when and where (include a map) to get fitted for their tuxes. Remind them to return the tuxes the day after the wedding to avoid annoying late fees. Keep your sweetheart in the e-mail loop to let her know that you’ve got everything under control.

It’s you and your family’s responsibility to organize the “Rehearsal Dinner.” Plan it carefully. Consult the Bride. Make room for a few surprises for the Bride. Plan ahead. Have flowers delivered to the restaurant prior to the dinner and have the waitress bring them out with a special “romantic” card for the Bride that you have signed and a couple of drinks for a toast. Choose your words carefully.

Be a buffer. If your mother is calling your fiancé every hour to talk about the wedding, you run the risk of major family conflict with you stuck in the middle. Your mission is to keep the peace. Call your mother and let her know that while you appreciate her interest, input and excitement, it’s your wedding and she needs to give you two some space.

The Best Man is a reflection of your judgment, your background and your character. Decide who is going to be your best man quickly, tell him what is expected and make sure he can honor his commitment. Make sure that you tell anyone who might be offended by your choice before word gets round. Make sure he has envelopes ready to present the gratuities to the minister, disc jockey, etc., at the wedding. Tip for superb service responsibly.

You probably paid for the open bar. However that is not a license to get blasted into next week. Tequila shots with your buddies are out. Drink responsibly.

Whatever you do, do not have your stag the night before the wedding. Better yet, skip this rite of passage and earn a few extra points with your Bride. If you must have a stag night, have it the weekend before the wedding and behave yourself.

You will be expected to say a few brief words at the reception. Keep them short and to the point. Say how happy you are to be marrying the “girl of your dreams,” say a few “thank yous” and sit down. It doesn’t have to long and flowery. Practice. Remember, practice does not make you perfect, it makes you better.

Next. . . live happily ever after!

heart ringCopyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 445 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

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