Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Mix Up Your Bridal Party!

If you like to be the one to get the attention of your wedding guests by being a little non-traditional, this tip is for you. These days pretty much anything is acceptable.

Brides, who says your maid of honor must be a “maid” or “matron?” If your best pal happens to be a guy, have a “man of honor.” Same goes for the best man; there’s no reason why there can’t be a “best woman.” Bride’s men and Groom’s maids!

best_man_woman t-shirtTypically the bridesmaids stand to the right of the wedding officiant and the groomsmen stand on the left, facing the guests. To further mix things up, how about having every other person be a man, woman, man, women, etc. When the master of ceremonies announces the bridal party, he/she could say something like this: Here is the Maid of honor, “Sally,” being escorted, not by the best man, but the “best woman”, Bills childhood friend, Ms. Candy Smith.” She can also be referred to as “Best Friend of Honor to the groom.”

You could use gender-neutral terms. Bridesmaids and groomsmen become “attendants” and the best man and maid/matron of honor are the “honor attendants.”

You could have all men or all women in the bridal party. You could call them bridesmen and and specify a man of honor. There is no reason you can’t have a best woman too. I had a wedding several years ago where the bride had a guy on her side and the groom had a girl on his side. You could call the man a bridesman, not a bridesmaid.

boygirlboygirlHmmm. What should they wear? If a guy is a bridesmen, to differentiate between him and the groomsmen, you could try to match him to both the bride and bridesmaids – cream/white pants and a blue satin shirt. Bride’s men often wear the same suit as the groomsmen but with a different buttonhole flower and slightly different color tie.

Others say he should match the other groomsmen, and stand with them – not the bridesmaids. Perhaps the person standing beside the bride as she gets married should be the person she’s closest too, not necessarily the female she’s closest too. It may partly depend on how formal the wedding is. I say it’s a matter of personal choice.

But what will the guests say? Weddings are becoming less “traditional” and more and more on the “creative” side. The guests will be talking about how different your wedding was… they say that about my ceremonies already. Doesn’t bother me. 😉

There doesn’t have to be even numbers of boys on the boys side, and girls on the girls side. What if you have more bridesmaids than groomsmen? Simple. Arrange it so that they will all standing together, boy-girl-boy-girl-boy. People are choosing the people who matter and moving further from tradition to make things more interesting. Different is good!

Then there is the idea that the bride and the groom should be the center of attention at a wedding. It’s the bride and groom who will make the choice. It’s their wedding and they can do anything they want. By the way, the groomsmen and bridesmaid do not have to be partnered. And the bridesmaids can wear their favorite dress instead of the common all dress alike uniforms.

Choose to make your wedding unique to you. As long as it is special to you, that should be your only concern. There is no need to choose your bridal party because of other people’s feelings, just choose who you want, regardless of gender. Again, it’s a matter of personal choice.

BONUS Articles: Groomsmen: How to be as Suave as James Bond at the Wedding
Who (of the bridal party) Walks Down the Aisle First?

Copyright © 2012 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Website. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Friday, October 28, 2011

Groomsmen: How to be as Suave as James Bond at the Wedding

Filed under: Bridal Party,Groomsmen,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 9:00 am
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Dr. Alan Viau, Guest Author

The groom’s wedding party is getting ready to head to the ceremony area. The guys all walk up to their designated locations and are expected to look suave and supportive of their mate getting married. But are they committing some faux pas that doesn’t quite get that look?

One of the joys of being involved in a wedding is that you get to dress up for the special event. You don’t get that many occasions where you can look your best. Along with looking your best, there are implications that you are acting your best as well. The ultimate suave gentlemen is who you must be – at least for the ceremony. When the party begins, all bets are off.

messygroomsmen

No shades & left hand over right – No hands in pockets!

Unfortunately, I see many men not quite succeeding in pulling off the debonair James Bond 007 look and feel. They may have a nice made-to-measure suit on – but they don’t quite measure up in other ways. Here are some commonly made errors that kill the buzz.

Look the Part. Make sure your suit fits, your shirt is cleanly pressed, your tie is straight and all the appropriate buttons and zippers are done up. Nothing needs to be hanging out. Anything other than black shoes – like athletic wear or sandals – are a big NO. Ditch the chewing gum and sunglasses. Like the bridesmaids in their heels, you to can suffer for your friend.

Walk the Part. James Bond does not walk into a room shuffling his feet with slouched shoulders. He stands straight, shoulders relaxed and walks with purpose. You can see this with the GunBarrel clip in every film. When he stands – he stands with relaxed (and deadly) confidence. Try practicing the Yoga Mountain Pose in preparation for the event.

Act the Part. Avoid the smart ass quips and comments during the ceremony – it’s not about you but about your mate and his mate. I certainly don’t want to hear it and neither does anyone else. Keep it for the reception. Finally, learn to properly escort a lady on your arm for the exit. Those poor ladies have been standing there just as long as you have but in high heels. The least you can do is ensure that they walk out nicely.

Groomsmen, you are playing a noble role in this ceremony. A role that goes back centuries as the supportive gentlemen to your friend or family member who is in an important life transition. You have an important part to play in how he and everyone remembers this day. I know that you want it to be the best for him and therefore you can be the best you can be for this part of the day. Remember James Bond and you can be noticed as the suave and debonair man that was there for him.

Copyright © 2011 – Alan Viau. Reprinted with permission. Dr. Alan Viau performs weddings and other life celebrations in the capital of Canada, Ottawa, since 2004. As a multi-faith, multi-cultural wedding officiant, he works with and crafts a wedding so that the couple has the ceremony that is a true expression of what is in their hearts. Alan is married to his Sweetheart of over 30 years and has three wonderfully creative young adult children. He finds grounding in yoga and horseback riding. You can find more tips and real wedding stories at www.WeddingChaplain. ca

Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Who (of the bridal party) Walks Down the Aisle First?

Filed under: Bridal Party,Non-Traditional Ideas,Rehearsals — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Although tradition says that the Best Man and the Maid of Honor usually walk up just before Ring Bearer, Flower girl and the Bride and her escort, if you have 3 or 4 (or more) Bridesmaids and Groomsmen on each side, it is often a better idea to have the Best Man and the Maid of Honor walk in after the Minister and the Groom so that everyone else knows exactly where they are suppose to stand.

The traditional way often has the spacing between everyone staggered or off the mark and may show up as loosely organized and bad in the wedding photos. If you decide to do it this way, please remember to tell the wedding venue coordinator because they usually line everyone up to go in the traditional way.

orange-bridesmaidsRemember to provide the Wedding Venue Coordinator at your wedding venue ALL the details of the rehearsal, BEFORE the rehearsal NOT at the rehearsal. Example: Names of Groomsmen, Bridesmaids, who seats the parents & grandparents, are the guys walking up first or will the Groomsmen walk with the Bridesmaids, names of the ushers (if any), etc.

Having the names of EVERYONE in the wedding party in advance of the rehearsal will help make your rehearsal go much smoother and less time consuming. Send an e-mail a day or two before the rehearsal to the wedding venue coordinator with the names. Also send a copy of the e-mail to the Wedding Officiant/Minister.

When the wedding venue coordinator has the names of everyone “prior” to the rehearsal, it’s much easier for them to call out the names of everyone in the bridal party and line them up. When you wait until you get to the rehearsal to give the names to the wedding venue coordinator it often slows down the rehearsal time by 10 to 15 minutes while you give her/him the names and he/she writes them down.

Send an e-mail a day or two before the rehearsal to the wedding venue coordinator. A well-coordinated rehearsal should not take longer than 30 minutes provided everyone arrives on time. Please encourage those who will be in the wedding party to be on time. The Wedding Officiant or Minister often will have more than one rehearsal in a day.

Rehearsals go much faster and smoother when everyone is lined up first as if everyone had just walked in and are ready for the wedding to begin. In other words, you start at the end. Next, the wedding officiant/minster hits the highlights of the ceremony to familiarize everyone with the order of things, then you practice walking out. The wedding venue coordinator then lines everyone up in the order they will walk in and you do it all over again. In affect you get two rehearsals this way. I always ask if everyone is comfortable with the rehearsal and if they have any questions.

With this rehearsal method, 9 times out of 10, a one-time walk-through does it.

Larry’s Note: Old traditions are hard to break, but bridal couples must be mindful that just because something has been around for a long time, doesn’t mean that fashioning new rituals isn’t perfectly acceptable and perhaps even preferable.

BONUS Article: The Rehearsal & the Rehearsal Dinner! It’s Fun Time!

2hearts2

Copyright © 2011 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s “romantic” Wedding Ceremony. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 460 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

letsbefriends2

Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

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