Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Thursday, May 3, 2012

7 Things the Best Man Should Never Say in a Toast

Filed under: Best Man,Guest Authors,Toasts,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 7:00 am

Rob Lowry, Guest Author

The best man’s speech is usually the speech most talked about at a wedding. There are exceptions though, and one is when the Groom says something he should never say. I’m here to help you avoid these potential pitfalls which could spoil a great day.

BestManToast1. Insult Your Bride’s Parents – This mistake commonly occurs when then Groom enjoys a great relationship with his in-laws, and so feels they will ‘see the funny side.’ Its one thing to ‘see the funny side’ of a joke, but another thing altogether to be insulted in front of your friends and family by the very man who should respect you more than any, your new son-in-law.

2. Insult the Minister – I once attended a Wedding where the Groom told a joke that included the Vicar. The Minister in question, who was sat at the top table alongside the Wedding party, certainly did not look amused. Some people laughed, which only made it worse. The Minister, who was kind enough to marry you, should not find himself sitting in front of all your guests being laughed at as part of a cheap gag.

3. Mention the Ex – Under no circumstances, should you ever mention ex-partners! Whether her ex or your ex. Even if you are both comfortable with the subject, there is a time and place, and that is certainly NOT during your wedding speech! I know of one Wedding where one ‘ex’ joke made by the Groom during his speech left his bride crying in the toilets for most of the rest of the day. How would you feel if you caused this to happen?

4. Make Inappropriate Jokes – Believe it or not, it happens. Even If your wife and your families are comfortable with smutty jokes, you can be sure to make a lot of your guests uncomfortable with them. Humor should really be left to your best man. At most, use it sparingly and only if you are a naturally funny person. Overly using humor here is a bad move, as you should be sincere and genuine as much as you can.

5. Overly Praise the Bride – Obviously it is essential to praise your bride during your speech. However, overdoing this can have the opposite effect, seeming insincere. It can also come across as a bit soppy and cheesy, even embarrassing your bride, both families and your guests.

celebration toast with champagne6. Cause Offense to Any of Your Guests – If you had a guest in your home, you wouldn’t insult them would you? You would, if anything, go out of your way to make them feel comfortable. Treat your wedding guests similarly. Be sure not to say anything that will offend anyone. Avoid topics you feel may be offensive, and don’t mention any grievances you may have with anyone, whether they are attending the wedding or not.

7. Don’t Mention Deceased Family or Friends Unless You’ve Cleared it Beforehand – Mentioning deceased family and friends could upset people, making them emotional. This is not what you want to do, remember this is a happy occasion. Especially don’t mention the deceased if you yourself will get emotional and shed a tear mid speech! It may sound harsh and cold-hearted, but this could put a sad tone on what is the happiest day of your life.

A few other things you should do are avoid alcohol beforehand, be prepared, and smile! The last thing you want to do is get drunk before your Wedding speech. It will affect your delivery and you will be more likely to say things you shouldn’t. Be prepared, because if you aren’t you will look like you don’t care, and your wife and her family may not be too happy about this.

Finally, make sure you smile! I know for some of you this may seem like the most nerve-wracking thing you’ve ever had to do, but if you don’t at least smile, you will look like you never wanted to get married and are in fact having the worst day of your life! So with this, I wish you luck in writing your Wedding speech and a very happy Wedding Day!

Larry’s NOTE: First things first. When a toast is given TO the Bride and Groom they will be seen raising their glasses and drinking to themselves. Wrong!! Proper etiquette says that during a toast “to” the Bride and Groom, the couple should NEVER stand, raise their glasses, or drink to themselves. This is construed by etiquette mavens as patting yourself on the back. Instead, they should stand and respond with thanks or by offering another toast.

BONUS Articles: Rambling Ron, Rita and the “Toasted” Toaster
Toasting Like a Pro!

Copyright © 2012 – Rob Lowry. Rob Lowry’s speciality is weddings and party planning in the UK. He helps Bridezillas to overcome their most feared nightmares and also advises for creating wedding lists for themed and seasonal weddings. Visit Rob’s Website at:!

Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 470 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. –

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at:


Blog at

%d bloggers like this: