Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Cleaning Up a Scruffy Groomsmen or Usher

Emily Post Weddings (Peggy & Anna Post), Guest Authors

Question: One of our ushers has a scruffy beard and could use a haircut, too. He’s a wonderful guy, but how do we ensure he’s properly clipped and styled for our big day?

WEDQ&AAnswer: Just as you wouldn’t dismiss a bridesmaid who’s gained a few pounds, you can’t force your usher to adopt different personal grooming habits for your wedding. Yes, it’s worrisome to think that he’ll stand out in a negative way, but give the guy some credit. No doubt he grasps the seriousness of the day and will likely surprise you by rising to the occasion.

If you really can’t resist the need to act, ask your fiance to apply some benevolent coercion: “Mark, you’re gonna shave for the wedding, right, dude?” If he doesn’t clean up, so be it. Focus on what matters most: that those you love are there to stand beside you. Plus, when you look back in 20 years, you can give him a hard time for his lackluster 20-something style.

Copyright © 2015 – Emily Post Weddings. From old traditions to new trends, The Emily Post Institute has over 90 years of offering trusted inspiration, advice, and etiquette for couples, families, and guests. Visit:



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