Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

So, You’re a Bridesmaid… What Now?

Being asked to be a Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor is truly an honor. The list of duties are long. You are the Chief Ring-leader. You were chosen because of your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion and get-the-job-done qualities, to say nothing of your close friendship with the bride.

Being a bridesmaid is not something one should enter into lightly. The commitment is fierce and obligations many. Bridesmaids are usually close friends or family members to the bride and typically play a vital role on the day of the wedding. Bridesmaids must be a dependable group of ladies consisting of the bride’s closest friends and/or family. Negative, needy dramatic types need not apply. Bridesmaids have a strong supportive role they must play during the entire wedding experience.

BridesmaidSome girls find that they cannot meet the needs and demands of the bride. If you feel that you cannot do everything that is necessary for the bride to have the best day ever… you should decline rather than quit two weeks before the wedding because the stress was too much for you. There is no joy or fun in being a bridesmaid if you don’t enjoy what you are doing. Bridesmaid’s duties can be fun filled and enjoyable as long as everyone involved has a sense of humor and you all remain calm during the stressful periods.

“Attempting to back out for any reason other than an economic, health, or family crisis beyond your control is a risky move and generally not advised. Communicate any concerns to the couple, and things will usually work themselves out.” Emily Post

If you find that you are unable to carry out the duties of a bridesmaid, suggest to the bride some other duty that will still have you be a part of the wedding, e.g., guestbook attendant, addressing invitations, do a reading, gift attendant, be a “go-to girl,” bring food and drinks to the head table, etc.

Bridesmaid duties come in all forms and fashions. Many important bridesmaid duties involve keeping the bride comfortable, emotionally and physically. Duties of the bridesmaids include, but are limited to:

• Part of your responsibilities are to know your responsibilities. Have a one-on-one with the bride
• Assists Maid of Honor however they can
• Helps Maid of Honor plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party
• Help the bride with the planning of the wedding
• Greets guests at the reception and encourage mingling
• Purchases their own attire, transportation, and accessories
• Attends the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
• Assists the Maid of Honor in helping everyone get on the dance floor
• Assist the other bridesmaids on where to go and timing, especially if they show up late
• Organizing a bachelorette Party or a STEN do Party
• Assisting the bride in making decisions regarding her wedding decorations, invitations and reception menu.
• Visiting Bridesmaid’s stores to find a bridesmaids gown. Bridesmaids must remember that this is the bride’s special day and therefore she ultimately does make the final decision on the gown style
• Give an individual wedding gift to the couple, or contribute to a group gift from all the attendants
• Pay attention! This is the bridesmaid’s biggest task, yet sometimes the most ambiguous. Be a hands-on attendant, and errand runner and more. If you see something that needs to be done… do it!
• Provide moral support and be a great listener throughout the process since it is a very wonderful and “positively” stressful time for your friend
• Ask if the bride needs anything (food, water, etc), all the way up until the time she is walking down the aisle
• Last but not least, one of your bridesmaid duties is to remain and pick up flower petals and be involved in the not-so-fun part – cleanup!

In other words… be there for the bride! The duties a bridesmaid must perform on the wedding day are essential in ensuring that the bride has a relaxed and fun filled day. Whatever feelings the bride may be displaying on the day, the bridesmaid’s should be aware that she will be very emotional and she will need emotional support from her closest friends. And what do you get for being a bridesmaid? You get to enjoy the glow of an appreciative bride whose wedding was made all the more special from your unique input.

The Expenses of a Bridesmaid ~ There is a considerable expense involved in being a bridesmaid, including cost of apparel, travel and hotel room for the ceremony, hosting a party, as well as a shower gift and a wedding gift. A bridesmaid can save money by asking others to pitch in for the showers, wearing a dress she already owns (if that’s okay with the bride), making her own dress, and staying with friends. She can give her friend the gift of time – i.e., the gift of addressing and stuffing the invitations. Also, a bride may pay for some of the expenses if her budget allows it.” ~ Nina Callaway

BONUS Article: 6 Things Bridesmaids Do That Really Annoy the Bride
Brides! Should You Fire Your Bridesmaid?
Always for Bridesmaids – Some Dos and Don’ts!
Inside Weddings: The Wedding Party


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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: Check Larry’s availability.

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