Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Do You Need a Videographer?

Jason Melendez, Guest Author

Some couples just don’t like the idea of a wedding video and want nothing more that a good photography package to preserve their memories. But before skipping over video altogether, take a few moments to consider what you’ll be getting with a good videographer, and how the possibilities offered by the latest technical gear and editing equipment stack up to your friend’s camcorder or to photography along.

WEDvideoCouples often feel as though their wedding day went by in a blur. After months of planning and effort, the big day comes in a rush, and everything happens so fast and with such emotion that before they know it, the day is over.

A good wedding video is like a time machine that can take you back to your wedding day any time you like. You can experience all the sounds, action, subtle details ad endearing documentary that will be available to your children, and so on. Imagine being able to watch your grandparents’ wedding or their grandparents’.

Do the words “wedding video” invoke thoughts of a cheesy soundtrack, amateurish screen wipes and complete, unbroken coverage of the chicken dance? Today, digital video and editing technology make it easier and more affordable than ever to create wedding videos as engaging and sophisticated as quality television documentaries, complete with voice-over interviews, flashbacks, professional scene cuts, special effects and more. The style you choose is up to you, but you have more choice for capturing the sights, sounds, and action of your special day more than ever before.

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Videography vs. Photography

Ask a photographer and he’ll probably tell you that photography is more important. Ask a videographer and he’ll stress the importance of both. The real question is, how important is videography to you? Remember that while you can’t put your wedding video in a frame above the mantle or pull it out of your wallet to show a friend, a photograph can’t capture the sound of your voices exchanging vows or the sounds and activity of your reception party.

Larry’s NOTE: With smart phones and iPads, you can more easily show video to your friends now more than ever before.

When it comes to wedding videos, there’s something about the live action capture of such a special moment that can take you back like nothing else. Consider how popular movies are today as a way of telling a story. Videography is quickly becoming less of an optional side-kick to photography and more of an equal partner in preserving the memory of your day.

Larry’s Note: A very special “Thank you” to Sarah & Carl Anderson of Princess Bride Cinematic Videography for his contribution and excellent work on the video below. Visit his Website: www.PrincessBrideVideo.com. Arizona (Greater Phoenix Area & Tucson) and Minnesota (Twin Cities Area). – 5 Stars from Larry James!

To watch a video which highlights all the main events from Tasha and Brian’s destination wedding at Sassi in Scottsdale, click here!

BONUS Articles: Will You “Remember” Your Wedding?
Let There Be Light! – A Videographer’s View!
Why Do I Need a Wedding Video?

Photo Credit: (Couple watching video) – Pittman Productions, Chicago.

Copyright 2014 Jason Melendez. Jason Melendez is co-author of the book, “e-Plan Your Wedding: How to Save Time and Money with Today’s Best Online Resources.”

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Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Friday, September 26, 2014

What Kind of Wedding Ceremony Will You Choose?

Here is a list of the many different wedding ceremonies that are available for your wedding. You can choose one or mix several of them together to make it exactly what you want. Make sure that you choose a minister or wedding officiant who is willing to make changes, cut out parts you do not like and add things you would like to have in your ceremony. In other words, someone who will customize the ceremony to your complete satisfaction.

Religious Wedding Ceremony ~ Many religious ceremonies are performed in a church, temple, synagogue, etc., where the bride and/or groom is a member of the congregation, but these are not the only places. A religious wedding ceremony is typically faith-based and can also be performed anywhere. A religious ceremony performed by someone other that the official from the church, etc., can be anything the bride and groom chooses. A minister, priest or rabbi are often restricted from changing the ceremony. Scripture is usually a part of this ceremony and is often more like a sermon than a ceremony.

KindOfCeremoniesSpiritual Wedding Ceremony ~ This ceremony may or may not have scripture. This ceremony can be used in instances where the couple feels they would like a spiritual ceremony without it necessarily being religious. It is generally based upon what the couple have chosen to believe – not necessarily what a particular denomination teaches. The wedding officiant is usually willing to allow the bride and group to express their own spirituality in the words of the ceremony. There may be brief mentions of God (or more – your choice), possibly a prayer and whatever the bride and groom choose, but does not adhere to any particular religious protocol. It may incorporate Native American or New Age elements into it to reflect their spirituality. In my view, this ceremony is often referred to as a non-denominational wedding ceremony.

Non-Religious Ceremony ~ Kind of a cross between a Spiritual and Civil ceremony.

Interfaith Wedding Ceremony ~ This is for the blending of two or more faiths, by including aspects of religion or religious rituals or readings that are symbolic of each faith.

Civil Wedding Ceremony ~ This ceremony is typically held in a courthouse, city hall or judges’ chambers and is officiated by a Justice of the Peace, a judge or a mayor PLUS you have to go through the metal detector to get to them. 😉 It’s short and in my opinion boring and never very romantic. It has simple vows and usually just a handful of close friends as guests and in most cases just two witnesses to sign the marriage license. A wedding officiant can also perform a civil ceremony anywhere you choose. Some officiants will add things link the sand ceremony, the rose ceremony to spice it up a bit. Here is my solution to a Justice of the Peace wedding. Click here!

Non-traditional Wedding Ceremony ~ This ceremony is similar to a civil one, but may have religious overtones as a couple, or one of you, is a member of a “non-traditional” religion. This ceremony gives you the most leeway to “have it your way.” It does not follow the more formal structure and does not include elements of the Christian religion such as prayers, scripture readings and blessings. It can be a blending of cultures (to honor your heritage) or religious faiths.

Theme Wedding Ceremony ~ This ceremony can be anything you want. It may have parts of the other ceremonies described here. I’ve had pirate themed weddings, weddings on Halloween, at the Zoo, in Hot Air Balloons, Celtic, Western Style weddings, Medieval/Renaissance themed weddings and more. These are fun weddings often with costumes to match the theme.

Military Wedding Ceremony ~ This ceremony is usually formal and steeped in military tradition. It requires full dress uniform for enlisted personnel. Rituals vary between the U.S. Armed Forces branches but most incorporate the stunning salute of the Saber Arch that the newlyweds pass under. Often a honor guard is present.

Commitment Ceremony ~ No marriage license is required. The intent is to demonstrate the commitment a couple is making to one another.

Same Sex Wedding Ceremony ~ The term same-sex wedding specifically refers to ceremonies for gay or lesbian couples. As of September 26, 2014, same sex ceremonies are not legal in the state of Arizona. Some same sex couples prefer to have a Commitment Ceremony, not a legal ceremony, but a ceremony with friends and relatives that demonstrate their commitment to each other.

Renewal of Vows Ceremony ~ This ceremony is used to celebrate a special anniversary, mark the couples transition through a difficult time, or just to acknowledge their love. They are often more intimate with only close family and friends or a gathering of many of your friends (It’s party time!). You can watch a video of the “Love in the Hills” event that celebrated the love of more than 650 couples who renewed their wedding vows at the same time on Valentine’s Day in 2014. Go to the home page on my Wedding Website and click on the video in the middle of the page.

There are many “add on” ceremonies that may be added to any of the ceremonies above. See the list by clicking here. They can make your wedding ceremony very special for you and your guests. Light humor is another aspect that some couples may choose.

There are so many ways to perform a wedding ceremony. Many brides and grooms are getting away from the old-fashion, traditional wedding ceremonies. Be sure your minister or wedding officiant is willing to make changes, cut out parts you do not like and add things you would like to have in your ceremony. My belief is that it’s “your” wedding, not the wedding officiant’s wedding. I say… “Have it your way!”

In order to have a legal marriage, couples must purchase a marriage license from the Country Clerk at the Court House. I have performed some of the ceremonies above without the bride and groom purchasing a marriage license. Often there are various reasons the couple may choose to have a ceremony but not be legally married.

You can sneak a peek at my wedding ceremony template that brides and grooms can change, edit and have it however they choose. I guarantee that your ceremony will represent your values and beliefs because you always have the last word on what is said in your wedding ceremony. I promise! I also encourage couples to write some of their own vows. Click here!

BONUS Articles: Interviewing a Wedding Officiant? – Bring Lots of Questions!
No Thanks! A Family Friend Will Perform Our Wedding Ceremony
Religion vs. Spirituality

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
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Monday, September 22, 2014

Being a Maid of Honor is More Than Fluffing the Train!

If you have been honored by being chosen to be the Maid of Honor or Matron of Honor at your friends wedding it’s important for you to know that you were chosen because of your energetic, get-the-ball-in-motion and get-the-job-done qualities, to say nothing of your close friendship with the bride. You were also chosen because you are a good listener – especially to the wants and needs of the bride. You will be the VIP of the bridal party. She needs a leader. Someone who will be responsible for your own duties and those of the bridesmaids.

IMPORTANT: A lot is expected of you from the time you are asked to serve and until after the wedding. You and the bride will talk about the wedding almost every day. It’s a big job. You will need to be a constant part of the process. You will be her support system during the bride’s entire engagement. She will ask your opinion and when she does, give it, but never try to control things. Being a bride’s maid or matron of honor is a distinction many women cherish. But it doesn’t come cheap. Make sure that you have the finances, the time and limitless patience.

maidofhonorDUTIESMany bridesmaids are left torn between maintaining a friendship and breaking the bank. There is tremendous pressure for everything to go smoothly. Be familiar with your duties. Study them. Make notes. By knowing your duties and preparing ahead of time, making sure you have plenty of written schedules, checklists, and maps to guide you, you can remain calm and collected. If you are not up to it… politely decline the position and offer to be a bridesmaid instead. It’s okay to say no!

Besides fluffing the train, your duties extend way beyond walking down the aisle, holding the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony, bustling the dress and giving a tear-inducing toast at the reception. It can be a terrific opportunity to help the bride enjoy a enjoyable, stress-free day, creating a happy memory that will last a lifetime.

You will carry breath mints and bobby pins and anything else requested. You will have to stick by the Bride’s side – especially on the big day – like super glue and be willing to do whatever it takes for her to be comfortable and to feel taken care of. You will also be in charge of the clean-up crew including making sure the cards and gifts are delivered per the bride’s instructions.

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Be creative. Get input from the bridesmaids. Think of interesting ways you can be helpful to the bride, however, do only the things you are asked to do, and ask before you do anything she hasn’t requested.

When the bride has help from family members, the groom or lots of bridesmaids who want to pitch in, the maid of honor’s responsibilities could be lessened. If you notice that a bridesmaid is beginning to gossip or complain, talk privately to her and never let it turn into a bigger problem. Remind her that she’s being honored by being named a bridesmaid, and part of that honor is being nice to the other bridesmaids.

“The maid of honor’s role isn’t gender-specific anymore. Honor attendants can be men as well as women, and it isn’t unheard of to have more than one honor attendant sharing the privilege of serving as the bride’s trusted confidante and aide. Actually, this is a great way to split the labor and bestow the honor on more than one trusted friend or relative.” ~ HowStuffWorks.com

And finally, serve with distinction! If other commitments prevent you from giving the Bride the attention she deserves, you may be a better candidate for a Bridesmaid.

MaidOfHonorDUTIES

BONUS Articles: Serving Her Majesty the Bride: To Be a Maid of Honor… or Not
Maid of Honor Duties
12 Things the Maid of Honor Can’t Forget to Do the Morning of the Wedding
5 Secrets to Being an Awesome Bridesmaid
Q & A – Can I Remove a Bridesmaid from the Wedding Party?

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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Thursday, September 18, 2014

A Conscious Marriage

Filed under: Self-Care,Spirituality,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
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Susan Piver, Guest Author

There can be a magical quality to the time between deciding to marry and the actual wedding. If you are able to drop beneath the busy-ness of all the planning and arranging and remember why you have chosen to get married, this can be a precious time that may be filled with excitement, possibility and of course, your love for each other.

You are marking the end of one chapter of your life and the beginning of another. Whenever you are able to approach the major transitions in your lives with awareness and intention, you invest the passage with meaning and potency. You each approach marriage with the hope of a deeply satisfying shared life. But you also carry with you the fears and apprehensions of what might go wrong. You have seen too much to be ignorant of the dangers and pitfalls of married life.

ConsciousMarriageBut there is hope and there is help. A good marriage need not be left to chance. You can learn attitudes, skills and practices that can help you deepen and grow in love and satisfaction together, through a lifetime of change. This is the path and practice of conscious marriage.

What does it mean to hold your most intimate relationship – your marriage – as a central part of your spiritual path?

Imagine marriage as a cauldron, a vessel that holds the hearts and souls of you and your beloved… a vessel crafted to withstand fire. The cauldron heats up in the fire of relationship, because there is no hiding in marriage. Your partner will see and receive the best and the worst in you and reflect this back to you, like a mirror reflects back the heat of the sun.

On the spiritual path of marriage you understand this hot fire is like a refinery or alchemical process that helps you see and heal the parts of you that brings suffering to yourself and to those we love. We see how we hold back from life, from truth, from passion. In the fire of intimacy, you encounter places in yourself and in your partner where you may withdraw or lash out in fear, sadness or anger, as well as times when you give everything, stretching beyond your imagined limits to love and to be loved. It is your protective mechanisms, your barriers to love that are purified within the cauldron.

When you understand marriage in this way, as an opportunity to deepen love and wisdom, you can learn to welcome the brilliant intensity of the fire of relationship. And if you dedicate your intention and love to strengthen the vessel of your marriage, it will help to simmer the soup of your shared lives into a deeply nourishing and lasting relationship.

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When others do or say things that upset you, your instinct often is to try to make the other person wrong. In embarking on a conscious marriage, you strive to accept or bow to your partner as you might honor a spiritual teacher. You acknowledge that your partner may well bring you lessons the hard way. You acknowledge that they will see your less enlightened behavior more than others do and that therefore, they are in a better position to reflect this back to you.

Rather than running away, falling apart, or becoming aggressive when things get challenging, you make the agreement to do your best to learn from the difficulties and embrace it as an opportunity for your individual and mutual growth.

As you and your partner approach your wedding, consider discussing what it might mean to be spiritual friends. How can you honor your separateness and your differences, as well as the ways in which you naturally connect? Can you see your partner as existing not only to meet your expectations and fill your needs, but someone on their own path recognizing that you are two unique indivduals with different histories, different gifts, and different dreams?

You support and challenge each other to grow and be the best you can. You give the great gifts of your love and your companionship and the willingness to travel through life together. You can agree to do your best to be skillful and patient in this journey and to do your best to listen beneath awkward or unskillful communication for the jewel of the teaching which may be available. When you are on a spiritual path together, you are choosing to learn not only through the joys and ease of relationship but also through its challenges.

What greater gift can any human being offter to another than the commitment to stay and to keep turning towards one another with an open heart?

Larry’s NOTE: Harville Hendrix, a marriage therapist and American author, describes a conscious marriage as one in which “maximum psychological and spiritual growth is fostered.” It is a marriage created by consciously attempting to become aware of the “emotional baggage” that each partner brings to the relationship; understanding the possible problems that arise from the “clashing together” of each partner’s emotional baggage and then collaborating together to find creative ways of dealing with their own and the other’s baggage.

BONUS Articles: Religion vs. Spirituality
Think Long and Hard…
Everything We Think We Know About Marriage and Divorce is Wrong!!

SusanPiverCopyright 2014 Susan Piver. This article is from Susan’s book. Susan Piver is a Buddhist teacher and the New York Times bestselling author of seven books, including, Joyful Wedding; A Spiritual Path to the Altar. She teaches workshops and speaks all over the world on meditation, spirituality, communication styles, relationships and creativity. In 2011, Piver launched The Open Heart Project, an online meditation community which with nearly 12000 members who practice together and explore ways to bring spiritual values such as kindness, genuineness and fearlessness to everyday life. Visit her Website at SusanPiver.com.

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Click for Larry’s Wedding Website!

Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

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Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at: http://AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.wordpress.com

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Sunday, September 14, 2014

Grooms… Listen up!

Filed under: Groom's Duties,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 8:30 am
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Recently I had a meeting with a bride and groom and we were talking about all the details that can make a difference in making their ceremony boring or memorable for their guests.

I made a suggestion about doing something a little different than the traditional way and asked them what they thought about it. The bride turned to the groom and said, “I think that is a great idea! What do you think, honey?”

groomsDUTIESHe shrugged his shoulders and said, “I couldn’t care less. It doesn’t make any difference to me.” She was obviously disappointed.

Opps! Bad move! No bonus points for him!

It’s important to start your marriage off on the right foot. If you are a groom, I hope you don’t make this mistake. You make “think” this, but don’t you dare say it aloud. A groom’s role in his wedding is as important as his brides. Showing an interest in planning the wedding that will make you wife and husband will go a long way in demonstrating your love for her. Every bride I know wants to know that you do care and she wants your informed input in putting it all together. You don’t need to be a “yes” man. If there is something you would rather not do or have at your wedding, say so, and express your opinion in the most loving way. Don’t be crude and rude.

Please understand… a wedding is not just about her. Planning a wedding is a team sport! This is no one-woman show. A successful marriage involve two people. So does the planing of the wedding. You have duties far beyond just showing up on time and bringing the ring. She “needs” to know you’ve got her back! She doesn’t need the pressure of doing it alone. She needs you to be a part of this very special day.

Planning a wedding is a tremendous undertaking. It requires working together, patience, lots of time, dedication, and plenty of hard work. She needs your help, so pitch in! There’s a lot expected of you. Show some initiative and handle your groom responsibilities in advance, don’t put everything off until the last minute.

The groom chooses his groomsmen and best man and picks their attire. He buys thank-you gifts for his attendants and for the bride. He arranges and pays for the marriage license and the officiant’s fee and gratuity, and he reserves a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. For more complete list of the groom’s duties, click here!

Your Best Man is your man-slave. 😉 Part of your duties is to coach him on his duties and make sure he follows through. There is a book your Best Man should read, “A Gentleman Walks Down the Aisle: A Complete Guide to the Perfect Wedding Day” by John Bridges and Bryan Curtis. They suggest a few traditional duties for the Best Man:

• Assist in coordinating pickup of formalwear rentals for the groom’s attendants
• Supervise planning of the bachelor party
• Participate in the rehearsal and offer a toast to the bride and groom at the rehearsal dinner, as well as at the wedding reception. Larry’s NOTE: First things first. When a toast is given TO the Bride and Groom they will be seen raising their glasses and drinking to themselves. Wrong!! Proper etiquette says that during a toast “to” the Bride and Groom, the couple should NEVER stand, raise their glasses, or drink to themselves. This is construed by etiquette mavens as patting yourself on the back. Instead, they should stand and respond with thanks or by offering another toast. Suggest that the Best Man read: “Toasting Like a Pro!
• Show up on time, properly dressed for any photo shoots
• Make sure the groom is properly dressed and on time
• Take responsibility for the bride and groom’s rings on the day of the ceremony
• Serve as a legal witness to the signing of the marriage license, if requested
• Coordinate return of attendants’ formalwear the day after the wedding.

I would add one more thing for the groom. Make a honeymoon packing checklist. This will get you started:

❏ Airline tickets/itinerary
❏ Hotel reservation confirmation
❏ Traveler’s checks
❏ Credit cards
❏ Cash
❏ Passport
❏ Contact info for key numbers back home.
❏ Itinerary
❏ Prepaid phone card (you might not have cell service)
❏ Read: “Packing for a Honeymoon?

Take it from us, grooms: The more you are involved in the planning of your wedding, the better the “first kiss” at the wedding! 😉

BONUS Article: Here Comes the Groom! – A Call to ACTIVE Duty!

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Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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Wednesday, September 10, 2014

6 Wedding Traditions That Are Fading Fast

Filed under: Traditions,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

Many wedding traditions have evolved from old ideas that we may see as a little strange and out-of-date for today. Some wedding traditions are so hardwired into our brains that they’re just something we’re supposed to do – even if we have no idea why. Today many brides and grooms are side-stepping many traditions so they can do their own thing.

1. Shivaree (also known as a Charivari) ~ Unless you are in your 60’s or 70’s you may not even know about this one. This is probably the most annoying wedding-related tradition. Shivaree is defined as “a discordant mock serenade to newlyweds, made with pans, kettles, etc.” On a couple’s wedding night, a large gathering of friends, family members and other wedding guests would congregate outside the newlyweds’ home and proceed to make as much obnoxious noise as possible. They’d bang on pots, sing out of tune, hollering, hammering on a circular saw, and serenading and do whatever they could to disturb the couple. It often ended with the revelers being invited into the house for drinks, etc.

WEDTradition2Another version of the Shivaree was to have a rowdy parade of cars down the middle of the main street with banners, horns honking and tin cans attached to the groom’s car. Sometimes the revelers stayed behind, and poured cereal in between the sheets of the newlywed’s bed, removed labels from canned goods, short=sheeted the sheets and knotted clothes together. Pranks were a part of it. It was all in fun.

2. Reception Line ~ A receiving line is the best opportunity to greet each guest individually and thank him or her for coming to your wedding. And if you’re having more than 50 guests, it’s considered proper etiquette. The line also guarantees your guests a minute of face-to-face time with you, a chance to hug, kiss, and congratulate you both, and to say things like “The ceremony was lovely. Larry James was terrific!” (Wink, wink) 😉 However, receiving lines are an old tradition that have pretty much gone out of fashion. More and more couples plan to visit each table during the reception instead of a receiving line.

3. Parents seating ~ Tradition says the parents of the bride sit in the front row on the left side and the parents of the groom sit in the front row on the right side. When the couple walks up the aisle, the bride is usually on the left and whoever is escorting her is on the right. Once the groom takes his place next to the bride their backs are to the guests. In my “romantic” wedding ceremony after about 6 minutes into the presentation of the ceremony they are asked to face each other holding hands.

Here’s the problem. When the bride faces the groom, she is facing away from her parents and the only thing they see is her back. The parents of the groom can only see the back of the groom. Solution: Seat the parents of the bride on the right side and the parents of the groom on the left side. I know, that’s not tradition, however the first time we actually seated the parents in this manner, both sets of parents came up to me after the ceremony to personally thank me for allowing them to see the expressions on the faces of their daughter and son as the ceremony was being performed.

4. Best Man and Maid of honor walk in first ~ Although tradition says that the Best Man and the Maid of Honor usually walk up just before Ring Bearer, Flower girl and the Bride and her escort, if you have 3 or 4 (or more) Bridesmaids and Groomsmen on each side, it is often a better idea to have the Best Man and the Maid of Honor walk in after the Minister and the Groom so that everyone else knows exactly where they are suppose to stand.

The traditional way often has the spacing between everyone staggered or off the mark and may show up as loosely organized and bad in the wedding photos. If you decide to do it this way, please remember to tell the wedding venue coordinator because they usually line everyone up to go in the traditional way.

5. Decorating the groom’s car with tin cans, etc. ~ I still run across this one occasionally. As a surprise to the bride and groom, you may find “Just Married,” or “Just Hitched” scribbled in soap or shaving cream on the windows, tin cans tied to the back of the car, crepe paper rosettes, maybe a banner across the back of the car or streamers to the rear bumper. As the bride and groom escape the reception, people honk their horns, scream congratulations out their car windows, or wave from the sidewalk.

6. Seeing each other before the wedding ~ The idea of not seeing each other before the ceremony comes from the days when marriages were arranged and the groom might never have seen the bride. In some religions and cultures the option of seeing each other before is simply not allowed. The wedding symbolized a business deal between two families. Not too romantic, right? There was a chance that he might take one look at her and bolt – so it was often safer for them to meet for the first time at the altar. Most admit it’s a bit old-fashioned. Today, however, many couples choose to meet up and even have portrait sessions before the wedding ceremony. “First Look” often replaces this tradition. (See Bonus Article below).

Here are a few other traditions:

WEDTradition1. Tradition suggests that the bride’s parents pay all wedding expenses. A small percent still rely on their parents to fully fund their big event. Today, when couples tend to be older, the majority of couples often share the wedding expenses with their parents.

2. The original purpose of the bridesmaid and the best man was to aid in the capture of the bride, get her to church on time, and keep any hostile family members away! Now the bridesmaids usher the guests to their seats, the best man carries the ring, and offers a toast.

3. Your Matching Bridesmaids Dresses Make Them Decoys. ~ The bridal party is a tradition that has been established for many centuries. For a long time the purpose of the bridal party was to fool evil spirits. The bride’s friends dressed similarly to her in order to confuse any virulent presences that might be lurking about. Today bridesmaids are there to support the bride in the stressful times during the wedding. Read, “Wedding Lore and Traditions” @ http://www.infoplease.com

4. Freezing the Top Tier of the Wedding Cake ! It used to be that newly married couples were expected to have their first baby before their first anniversary, and as a result of that, weddings and christenings were much more tightly linked to each other than they are today — and, as it turned out, both occasions called for cake. (Source: http://people.howstuffworks.com)

5. Giving Away the Bride ! The tradition of the father giving away his daughter has its roots in the days of arranged marriages. Daughters in those times were considered their father’s property. It was the father’s right to give his child to the groom, usually for a price. Today a father giving away his daughter is a symbol of his blessing of the marriage. Read more: Wedding Lore and Traditions” @ http://www.infoplease.com

6. Bride on Groom’s Left ~ Because grooms in Anglo-Saxon England often had to defend their brides, the bride would stand to the left of her groom so that his sword arm was free. Read, “Wedding Lore and Traditions @ http://www.infoplease.com

BONUS Articles: No More “Receiving Lines!”
Who (of the bridal party) Walks Down the Aisle First?
Are You Seeing Each Other Before the Wedding? – “No way!”… However…

CelebrateIntimateWeddings

Click logo to go to Wedding Website!

Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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Saturday, September 6, 2014

Tying Up Loose Ends After the Wedding! – Newlywed To-Do List

Filed under: Budget,Financial Infidelity,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 8:30 am
Tags: , , , , ,

Wheew! The wedding and the reception are over. Now what? Honeymoon? And when you return it’s time to get busy again. No rest for the weary, right? Time to get organized. We’ve put together some ideas that may help you tie up the loose ends after the wedding celebration is over.

Put Away Your Wedding Keepsakes ~ Put your favorite wedding photos in frames and display them. Clean and store your wedding dress or tux. If you intend to keep your wedding dress have it dry-cleaned at least six months of your wedding. Use a service that specializes in wedding dresses so they use the right cleaning solvents. Make sure they stuff it with acid-free tissue, avoid using metal pins or buckles, and store it in a box. Once it’s back home, store it in a cool, dry place. Last. but not least, get rid of gifts or keepsakes from ex-partners.

NewlywedToDoListChange Your Name ~ Ideally, you should change all your IDs as soon as possible of getting hitched. Hopefully when you purchased your Marriage License, you ordered a Certified Copy to be sent to you after the Minister/Wedding Officiant registers it with the County Clerk’s office. Once you receive it, change your name with Social Security first. Wait a couple of day then change your name on your Driver’s License, State ID, Passport. Social security and the passport people both require a certified copy of your license. Depending on where you live, you may need to apply at Social Security in person. Call all of your credit card companies to get your name changed. Store your marriage certificate in a safe, easy-to-remember place.

Ring Up the Tax Man ~ Time to check off a new (married) box on your tax forms! Now that the two of you are a legal unit, you need to decide whether you’re going to file together or continue to file separately (joint filing isn’t something mandated by law, though it’s generally recommended). Don’t decide this on your own. Consult your accountant or attorney to see what he or she advises for the two of you. Think about changing your beneficiary to your husband/wife.

Plan and Review a New Budget ~ Take look at your income and set short-term and long-term goals. Begin to pay off any credit card debt that occurred as a result of your wedding. Fast-track any student debt. If you plan on having children, tighten your money belt before the baby arrives. A baby is something you should plan for. You will need to plan for who will be responsible for the bills since it’s now not just your money now. Remember to begin saving for retirement (Individual Retirement Account (IRA) or Roth IRA). One important goal should be to have at least 6 months or more of your monthly non-discretionary spending in an account separate from your checking account. Check out Dave Ramsey’s website for terrific financial information.

Send Your Thank-You Notes ~ While it’s still fresh in your mind, take notes for which gifts you received and from whom. If you don’t want snippy comments from family and friends, toss those thank-you notes in the mail within two months of your wedding. People will be waiting, and wondering if you liked their gift! Do few each night. Share this project with your sweetheart and the job will be half as daunting. It’s important to each sign your names on every card. Print off address and return address labels on your computer.

Give Everyone Your New Address ~ It’s perfectly fine to send a mass e-mail or an e-card with your new address. The traditional route? Buy store-bought moving announcements and slip them in with your thank-you note or have them custom-designed. Make sending thank you notes a breeze by printing address labels. Make sure to inform everyone of your new address. You never know who might be sending along a late wedding gift or card. Check our name-change checklist.

Return Wedding Gifts You Already Have ~ Sick of looking at those three toaster ovens gathering dust in the corner? Bite the bullet and return ’em within two months of your wedding. While stores are likely to be lenient with couples who’ve registered with them, each store will have a different policy on when you need to make returns by and what they’ll take back. Consider a garage or yard sale. Use it as a great opportunity to de-clutter. Put some of your wedding gift money toward

Update Your Employer on Your New Status ~ Remember to notify your employer of your new marital status. They will need to make any necessary adjustments such as changing any information on your W2 form, adding your spouse to your health insurance, and changing beneficiary designation on any retirement or 401k plans you may be enrolled in.

Finalize Your Wedding Album and DVD ~ Your photos from your photographer and guests won’t file themselves. Don’t put off your photo selection and video requests too long! On your first anniversary, wouldn’t it be great to pop in your wedding DVD and flip through your album? Most photographers and videographers issue a standard contract that gives you six months to a year to select album photos and edit footage for your DVD. If you don’t, you may have to pay extra.

Figure Out Your Finances ~ No one likes having “money talks,” but hopefully you had this one long before you walked down the aisle. Many married couples opt to merge their single accounts into a combined one, so definitely bring it up now if you haven’t yet. Decide if you want to keep your bank accounts separate, merged or a combination of both. Take a trip to your bank to fill out the necessary paperwork and get new debit cards and checks made. You may want to designate your spouse as beneficiary on financial and insurance related accounts, draw up a will, and ensure that you are both carrying the ideal amount of life insurance.

Make It Legal ~ When the two of you made it official, it meant more than just a tacit agreement not to hog the covers. In the next two weeks, you’ll want to talk about changing beneficiaries – most newlyweds switch their spouse to their beneficiary on work and life insurance docs. Call your insurance company and HR department at work for these forms. Decide whose work health insurance plan you’ll use by comparing cost and treatment options. If you’re the one making the switch, make sure the doctors you like are on the new plan. Within a few months, talk about drawing up a will that reflects your newly combined asset. Contact your attorney.

Remember Your Wedding Vendors ~ Send thank-you e-mails or cards to your vendors. Include any positive feedback on their services. If you and your guests were happy with there services, write reviews on wedding websites – and recommend your favorites.

Make Sure All Hired Items are Returned ~ Normally your florist or decor supplier will collect hired items from the venue but things like groomsmen suits and post-ceremony games will need to be returned so that you can get your deposits back. Make a checklist before the wedding and delegate this task to your best man or maid of honor.

Establish a Date Night ~ Very Important. Never let the romance fade in your relationship. Promise each other that no matter what you will always make time to be together. Specify at least one night each week to be designated “Date Night!” Read, “Date Night – No Less Than Once Each Week – No Excuses!

Plan Your First Wedding Anniversary ~ Begin to think about what you want to do, where you want to go and how you want to celebrate your first anniversary. Make a reservation or just agree on a plan so that you can have the year to look forward to it.

The wedding may be over, but the adventure of marriage is just beginning. A happy marriage is a fun and exciting time. Now it’s time to get busy again. Embrace and enjoy the change marriage brings and celebrate Love and your life together – remember, you’re only newlyweds for so long.

CelebrateIntimateWeddings

Click logo to go to Wedding Website!

Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

comment2Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact: CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. – CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page: http://www.Facebook.com/larry.james
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at: http://www.Twitter.com/larryjames
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at: http://CelebrateLove.wordpress.com/
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at: http://NetworkingHQ.wordpress.com

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