MissNowMrs.com, Guest Author
Larry’s NOTE: Spend some time with this important article for Newlyweds (and those who have been married awhile and their romance is not what it used to be). The links open in a new browser window so you will not lose your place.
Just as we have all figured out about one thing or another in life, bad habits are hard to break! Fortunately good ones are too! There are, naturally, many different changes that take place once you’re married… your daily routines adapt to one another’s routine, your sleeping pattern alters, your eating habits, your interaction and communication conforms to one another’s, and so on. So start newlywed life off on the right foot!
Get into the “good” habits with your spouse as you step into the married world, so that you’re more likely to continue following in each other’s positive nature, thirty years down the road! Here are a few ideas for you to think about, while deciding what is important in your marriage, and to help you recognize what your good habits are with your spouse!
• Kissing each other hello and goodbye (of course) but also kiss for no reason! What better, more simplistic way of showing each other the love and affection you have for them. Remember, it’s the little things that mean so much!
• Keeping communication open and honest between you and your spouse is one of the more important good habits to get into. This is something that will be important in your relationship for life!
• Resolve disagreements through discussion with an open mind. It’ s never good to continue an argument for any length of time, so talking things out with one another, and not walking away mad is key!
• Taking time for you. It’s important to spend time together and it’s just as important to spend time doing something for you! If your spouse is glued to the TV and you have absolutely no interest in Survivor Man, then grab a book, and read next to him (then you’re both happy).
• If you and your spouse have children, and have a designated “date night“ with just the two of you, stick to it! It’s important to remember that time alone is one key to a good marriage.
• Remember to spend time with your friends whether it be dinner and drinks or a day of shopping… it’s important not to lose touch!
• Do things together; such as sit down for breakfast in the morning or make dinner together at night, go to church on the weekends, visit your families on a regular basis… whatever it may be, keeping a variety of positive activities in your life helps to bring you closer as a couple!
6 Bad Habits That Can Ruin Your Marriage
We all know the odds are stacked against us newlyweds these days with the divorce rate through the roof (50% being 1 out of 2 marriages), so now more than ever couples need to keep the lines of communication open and honest. There are so many things that can ruin a marriage and nobody’s perfect! Try to stay away from the following bad habits and rest assured that the bond between you and your partner will continue to grow together rather than apart.
Bad Habit #1: Keeping Secrets. Whether it’s about finances, friends or your career; there’s no room for secrets in a marriage. I’m not talking about when your best friend says, “Swear you won’t tell anyone about…” I’m talking about hiding big purchases, not talking to your spouse about your feelings, etc.
Bad Habit #2: Disorganization. You may find that from time to time your home office looks like a bomb went off, but if your entire home is in disarray it may be time to do some serious housekeeping! Being disorganized will cause you both to feel anxious and out of control. It could cause you to miss due dates on important bills, adding unnecessary stress to you and your spouse; which will undoubtedly strain your relationship.
Bad Habit #3: Confiding in Relatives and Friends instead of your partner. One of the best parts of being married is always having someone to confide in and not having to worry about being judged for your opinions. You certainly would not appreciate finding out that your husband/wife confided in a parent, friend, co-worker or neighbor about something that he/she should have trusted you with. It hurts, don’t do it.
Bad Habit #4: Constant Criticism. It’s ok not to agree with each other all the time (you are allowed to be individuals with your own opinions); however nagging your spouse constantly about the little things that really do not matter in the scheme of life will result in a lot of fighting and negative feelings in your marriage.
Bad Habit #5: No Sex Life. Careers, children and other responsibilities and obligations are the cause of exhaustion—we all get it! Remember sex is one (major) key to a happy marriage and without it the two of you will be left feeling disconnected and will be more like roommates rather than husband and wife. Get out the lingerie and pretend like you’re dating again so you don’t become one of the 15-20% of couples in a sexless marriage (sex 10 or less times per year—yikes)! Watch this video (featuring Dr. David Schnarch, Sex Therapist) for advice on this topic, and to get a better understanding of just how many couples will experience this issue in their marriage.
Bad Habit #6: Forgetting the important words. Saying please and thank you have always been important words in my house, but saying I love you each and every day at least once is the most important. While actions may speak louder than words, reminding your partner that you love them is the utmost important thing you can ever say to them.
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