Newlyweds who watch five relationship movies together are half as likely to divorce or separate within three yeas as ones who do not, reports Ronald D. Rogge, PhD. His research focuses on understanding relationships and the early years of marriage.
Watching five movies from the more than 100 listed at Couples-Research.com and then discussing them using the site’s interactive tools will help couples actively set aside time to prioritize and focus on their relationship, thus strengthening bonds.
Researchers at the University of Rochester are looking for couples to participate in a research study of how reflecting on your relationship using popular movies can impact relationships over time. Interested? Click here!
• Here’s another way too help your relationship: From Martha beck’s latest book, “Martha Beck Collection; Essays for Creating You Right Life” she says, “Always tell yourself the truth! The most intimate connection in your life is the one you have with yourself. Dishonest in your relationship is at best counterproductive, at worst catastrophic. If you want your relationship to work, tell yourself the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. This can be difficult. We all tell ourself lies, whether occasionally or habitually, often without realizing we are lying to ourselves.
Fortunately, we can always locate our own untruths: Just follow the fumes of suffering. Believing lies makes us miserable. That’s why all effective counseling, from therapy to chatting with your nana, focuses on trusting your gut and owning your thoughts and feelings.”
• Practice non-judgment with your mate. Judgment kills empathy. Guess what? Empathy is necessary because empathy is what fuels trust and intimacy!
• Take time to schedule a relationship tune-up several times a year. The truth is, we could all use one occasionally. Attend a relationship seminar. Read a great relationship book… together. Talk about it. What did you learn that you can plug into your own relationship? Call a relationship coach. It’s always best to get coaching before you need it. Unfortunately, some couples wait until there is no opportunity to keep the relationship together.
• One of the primary causes of relationship issues is the sensitive subject of money. You are perhaps both used to spending your earnings as and when you like and it may be difficult to have another person impose on your financial decisions – particularly if one of you earns more than the other. Couples you have strong relationship live longer and have a much better change of staying together. The classic line in many wedding ceremonies includes the words, “for richer or for poorer.”
Couples who once smoothed over spats with a little shopping therapy can no longer afford to fill that prescription. Marital roles are shifting as onetime breadwinners adjust to long bouts of unemployment. Husbands and wives are blaming each other for bad investments and onerous debt.
Money is the biggest stress on married couples in many years. It seems to be the top reason that most couples find themselves in major disagreements. Although the longer they are together, the less they argue about money. It is imperative that couples discuss financial statuses beforehand and as you make plans for the future. Make some agreements and keep them.
• The dreaded housework hangup. Nowhere is it written that the wife must do all the housework! Another idea for minimising the risk of conflict is to divide up the housework early on in your marriage. Agreements work well with this issue too. However you do it, make sure that you settle the matter fairly so that neither of you feels taken advantage of; after all, you want to feel as though you have entered a loving marriage, not signed on as a housekeeper.
• Keep the romance alive. With today’s busy schedules it’s important to make time to spend with each other. Never stop doing the thing that brought you together in the first place. Schedule a weekly date-night.
• And finally… Never deprive your partner of S-E-X, otherwise they may hop into someone else’s bed and worsen the situation. Have fun with intimacy. Sex is fun and pleasure is good for you! Read: “Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers!”
What are some of the ideas you and your partner use to spice up your relationship? Please add them to the comments for others to share.
BONUS Article: Till Death Do Us Part???
Copyright © 2014 – Larry James. This information is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website and Wedding Blog. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.
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