Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Ya Gotta Meet in the Middle!

Filed under: Cooperation,Working together — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

When disagreements come up, you must meet in the middle. One cannot do the work of two. A successful marriage requires both partners to demonstrate that they are on the same team.

Why?

“Commitment. A deal is a deal. Your word is your bond. Commitment is based in integrity. It isn’t compromised based on your mood or emotions. Commitments are kept whether you feel like it or not.” ~ Larry Winget

meetintheMiddleWhen you’re married, you go through a lot of changes in life, buying a house, having kids, staying focused on working together to make everything work. It’s never easy.

When I talk with couple who have been married for a long time, say… 30 or 40 years for more, most tell me that they have become a “well-oiled couple machine.” They let go of things that used to annoy them. They choose their battles and fight fair. They learn to negotiate and compromise. They treat each other with total respect. They honor their word.

They trust that when one of them says they will do something, it will get done. They they are quick to agree to disagree at times. They communicate. instead of complaining. They make each other a priority. When they get irritated with one another, they look at the benefits of working together. They each take time to be alone. Everyone needs alone time.

A waning sex life is a complaint many couples have after years of marriage. Believe me, it doesn’t have to be that way. The truth is that if you have a “real” headache, participating in making love will banish your headache quicker that a Tylenol. If you want the excitement to continue, you must continue to work together to put the excitement in your relationship. Never, I repeat, never stop doing the things that brought you together in the first place.

Somethings when one partner doesn’t feel like having fun, they remember that not feeling like it doesn’t have to keep you from joining in the fun and frolic. Almost always the shift that comes from doing it anyway causes attitudes about being complacent to disappear. Working together requires that you have great communication skills. Communication with one another is the key to being able to be with one another.

One of the many areas of marriage in which we should work together as a team is in the area of doing work around the house. Ya really gotta meet in the middle on this one. Where is it written that the woman should do all the housework. Do I hear an “Amen?” Your wife is your partner, not your mother. Don’t expect her to clean up after you and do all the chores. Guys, there is no better way to serve your wife than to understand her needs and do your best to meet them.

If he likes to cook… let him cook. If he doesn’t like to fold the laundry… she can fold the laundry. It could be taking turns changing diapers or one parent watching the children while the other prepares dinner. Doing things together and having mutual, agreed-upon divisions of labor benefits both partners. Split up the things that need to be done and decide who does what.

Smooth routines are made, they don’t magically appear. When you have a deep love for your partner, you must often do things that you would rather not do. Don’t be a whiner. Just do it anyway. If you are meeting in the middle, it will always come back to you. I call it, “turn about is fair play!” Cooperate. Share.

How much fun are you to live with? Couples who love and respect each other do everything they can to be someone their partner will love to be with. You have to meet in the middle for fun too. Not everyone likes the same things. Sometimes it’s best to go along and do something you may not like just to have the time to be together. Smart couples take turns doing that.

Let’s face it. It’s a wonder that men and women ever get along. They are so different. You teach people how to treat you. So… do unto your partner as you would have them do unto you. The longer you are together the easier it is to have a healthy love relationship. You will find peace in your relationship when you meet in the middle.

Love, cooperation, generosity, and mutual respect for each other can make things so much better. You’ll find that in the middle too!

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 445 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Check Larry’s availability.

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