When you make a promise to love, honor and cherish another person, the faithfulness implied doesn’t have a thing to do with money. Or does it?
“If you don’t have a major discussion regarding debt and money before you got to the altar or live together and make a major investment together, you’re walking down a dangerous path. You can be rich in love, but money is important in paying the bills.” ~ Bruce Bickel, Managing Director of PNC Financial Services Group’s wealth management division
Why is it that as most new relationships develop, couples tend to see each other naked before seeing each other’s bank accounts? Are you keeping money secrets from your partner? Monetary deceit is usually a deal-breaker! Financial infidelity is cheating! It involve a series of secrets and lies that can devastate a relationship. You are putting your relationship at risk.
In 2012, Self.com and Today.com conducted a survey of almost 24,000 men and women and found that almost 50% of married adults admitted to keeping money secrets from their spouses. Additionally, the survey revealed that while 37% of men and 56% of women admitted to lying to their partner about money, 63% of men and 70% of women agreed that being honest about money was as important as being monogamous. And yet, another U.S. poll found that 31% of couples had committed financial infidelity.
My sometimes arrogant, straight-taking, no nonsense “friend” Larry Winget talks about financial infidelity!
“Sex may be the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “infidelity,” but there are other types of “unfaithful or disloyal acts,” other ways spouses cheat on each other. A major one is money.” ~ Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY
Divorce360 experts call this “financial infidelity” or lying about how money is being spent. “…A married person who habitually spending more he makes and runs up debt or borrows from future earnings, retirement, whether it’s hidden or not, and knows that this is contrary to his spouse’s wishes, is being unfaithful to the health of the marriage relationship. He is demonstrating a lack of respect, reciprocity, prudence, honesty, especially if he knows that that style of money management is distressing to his spouse.
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Listen to this dialogue about separate checking accounts or not and make your own decision:
It’s important for couples to come together about money. You can blame the economy for shaking up your once solid union or you can define the real problem and mutually work together to find a workable solution.
Blame never solves the problem. It delays the inevitable search for a mutually beneficial solution. Work together. Cuss and discuss, but work on the solution. The only way to solve the problem of financial infidelity is commucation, trust, compromise and cooperation. Without honesty, the marriage isn’t likely to survive. If you find that you both cannot come to a mutually agreeable solution, call a coach!
Regardless of where you are in your marriage or relationship, the learning never ends. The classroom doors are forever open. Personal growth happens… so you would be wise to be ready for it. Get ready to learn from the bonus articles listed below.
BONUS Article: Financial Infidelity Has its Costs
How to Make Money Talks Less Awkward
Finicky Finances – Who Controls the Checkbook?
Till Debt Do You Part: Avoiding Money Problems in Your Marriage
Can Money Mismanagement Kill Your Marriage?
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