Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Friday, May 10, 2013

Will Sex on Your Wedding Night Be Unforgettable or Should You Fugetaboutit?

Filed under: Honeymoons,Intimacy,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 7:30 am
Tags: , ,

Your wedding night is a very special occasion in ways more than one and you should do whatever you can to make it a memorable night. It’s your first night together as wife and husband. Planning for your wedding night is just as important as planning for the wedding and reception. It’s a night to be savored by the both of you. Plan ahead to make it a night to be remembered.

weddingnightbathYour wedding day is a often a stressful day with all the pressure, exhaustion and the expectations so be realistic in your approach… slow down. Take your time. Be realistic. It is an accepted statistical fact that these days, less than half of newlyweds consummate their union on the night of their wedding and often on the first night of their honeymoon. Why? Because they are so exhausted and emotionally drained from the weeks and the days that have preceded it that they just want to sleep and recover. What could happen is that one of you falls asleep, or isn’t in the mood. If they do, that is not a prediction of a doomed marriage. Spend the time relaxing and remembering how wonderful your wedding day was.

Wedding nights are only really steamy and romantic in the movies. It is wise to lower your expectations and just let it happen. Between the pressure, the exhaustion, and the alcohol you might have consumed at your wedding, this may not be the most amazing sex you’ve ever had. That’s okay. Cuddle. Do spoons. Rest up for another day. Your big day if over… time to relax and maybe just fall asleep in each other’s arms. That’s pretty sexy. Just try to enjoy whatever happens.

Anticipation is one of the key ingredients of making love. Premarital abstinence may help. Abstinence makes the loins grow stronger. For a period of time before the wedding, ban all sexual contact so that your desire for each other will build up until the wedding night. A week-long of celibacy might be a good idea.

Flirt with each other at your wedding and reception… then get frisky. It will help to arouse your desire for each other. Little things like holding hands, touching one another, etc., keep you focused on each other, and build anticipation as the wedding night approaches. Even in the presence of other people do not hesitate to let your partner know that you are looking forward to being intimate together later. Enjoy this moment with a wink, send them a kiss and tell them that you love them. Plan to sneak away during your reception to have a little alone time. Have your disc jockey/wedding entertainer plan a few things to involve the guests… for 15 or 20 minutes they probably won’t even notice that you are missing.

Bride-and-groom-jumping-on-a-bedBe sure to plan ahead to ensure that you have transportation readily available after the reception to take you to your wedding night hotel. Let you family and friends be assigned to transport any gifts, etc., to your home… not you.

Romantic tradition has it that the groom should carry his wife over the threshold. Have children? Hire a trusted friend to watch the kids. Make sure you reserve a beautiful suite at a hotel. Never go the “cheap” route and go home after the wedding. Hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door. Also don’t leave for your honeymoon right after the wedding. Sleep in. There’s nothing remotely sexy about waking up at 5:30 a.m. to catch an early flight. Breakfast in bed is a great idea. Remember to ask for a late check out at the hotel.

Next… relax. Plan a CD with some of your favorite soft music. No Cell phones or TV tonight… not even to check the scores. Order room service. With all the mingling, taking pictures, dancing, cutting the cake and giving a speech at your receptions, some couple are to busy to eat or enjoy their reception meal. Take some time to talk about the parts you liked best of your wedding day. Focus on each other. Highlight the special moments of your life together so far.

kissthebrideNOTE for the guys: Be gentle. Be romantic. This is the night to get very, very intimate. Go very, very slow. Pace yourself. Don’t be a two-minute wonder! Never feel any pressure to thunder into the hotel room and start rattling the bed posts. Skip the clichés and tell her what it really feels like to be laying next to the woman of your dreams on the most magical night of your life. Remember, intimacy is not only about sex. This is a great time to talk about how you truly “feel” about your partner. That is intimacy too.

There is nothing better than perfect ambiance. Have the hotel staff sprinkle rose petals on the bed, around the floor, and scatter lots of lit candles everywhere. Order chocolate-dipped strawberries. The room must smell of fresh fragrance. Scent can be a powerful aphrodisiac. Take a luxurious bubble bath together. Good hygiene is hot. Have some bed-side breath mints handy. Make this night special.

A survey of brides and grooms by ask the question: “How was the wedding-night sex?

• 61% ~ Awesome
• 21% ~ Meh!
• 13% ~ Didn’t happen
• 5% ~ Reproductive

SideNote… Don’t ask friends to decorate your hotel suite. Some think it’s funny to “short-sheet” your bed or to play practical jokes on your wedding night. Not a good time to be funny. Romance is the rule of the night.

It’s often easy to spot a couple who definitely will not be making love on there wedding night. Most likely it has to do with a little too much social lubrication. Ease up on how many drinks you consume. Lay off the shots. Your wedding night should be memorable… that means you need to remember it. Alcohol affects your libido. Missing out on making love and waking up with a hangover is never a great way to begin the rest of your life together.

Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers book cover

Click cover for info

“Bliss out in the tub. Prepare beforehand for a romantic bath. Think rose petals, massage oils and candles, as well as sponges or loofahs to wash each other with. Just turn the water on and enjoy.” ~ Michelle Bender

To tired for wedding night whoopee? Wait until the morning. Perhaps morning-after sex might be a better idea.

The wedding night marks the beginning of a new responsible life together and is extremely significant in the life of each of you. Your wedding night may not be the best night of your lives but it is the starting point of a life that can turn out to be a wonderful life together. Perhaps the best promise you can make to one another is to get through the day together and turn your focus on the marriage that lies ahead.

BONUS Article: 10 Sex Tips for a Magical Wedding Night
Wedding Night Whoopee: Hot ‘n Heavy or Hype?
What Really Happens on the Wedding Night

Copyright © 2013 – Larry James. Larry James is an award winning, non-denominational wedding officiant and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or Cell: 480-205-3694. Pre-maritial relationship coaching is available and not required. You will find more than 475 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (96 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. –

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG – written by Larry James – are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.


Add Larry James as a “friend” to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Authors & Speakers” BLOG at:


Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: