Before you think, “Me? A Bridezilla? No, that’s definitely not me!” let’s define the word!
Bridezilla – noun. Formed from blending of the words bride and Godzilla (Japanese movie monster). Used to describe a woman whose behavior becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning for her wedding.
Or. . . as someone else put it: Bridezillas are a new breed of soon-to-wed women who abuse the idea that weddings are their “day.” They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to insure that they are the single most important person on the planet from the time they are engaged to the time they are married.
Ask yourself, “What kind of bride are you. . . really?”
Do you need to chill out or crank it up a notch? No one likes a drama queen. Stay cool. Don’t blow your top!
If you are a “do-it-yourself” bride and have not hired a wedding consultant to help you plan your wedding and save you money. . . you will most likely experience moments of stress. Your goal should be to remain as cool & calm as possible through all phases of the wedding process.
Here are a few tips that are designed to keep Bridezilla from rearing her ugly head:
My first tip is to hire a professional wedding consultant. They will help you get things done without a hitch. There will be no mishaps at your wedding and a lot less for you to worry about. They have terrific time-lines that will keep you on track. They know the deals and can point you in the right direction AND that can save you money or allow you to have more cash to hire someone that may have been “out of your budget” before.
It’s important to remember that once you set the rehearsal and wedding date and times DO NOT change them unless you inform everyone BEFORE you do. In my case, I often do two weddings in one day during the busy wedding season. I once had to hire another minister to do one of my weddings because the bride changed the time to the same time I had another wedding scheduled without bothering to ask if I was available at that time.
Be sure you ask “reliable” people to be in your wedding party and to read readings, etc. The maid of honor has a BIG job. She is expected to give the bride her full attention on the day of the wedding and be ready to handle anything that comes up. Part of her job is to make the entire wedding process as stress-free as possible. If she isn’t will to do that or gives you a bad time about it. . . find someone who will. Losing three wedding party members, or finding out just days before the wedding that one of your readers really didn’t want the job can cause you un-needed stress – to say the least.
Have a conversation with your Groom. It’s not just “your” wedding. It’s his wedding too! Assign some of the work to him and be sure to follow up.
Always ask for references from wedding vendors. The really good vendors appreciate working with a bride who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask questions before signing on the dotted line. Reading the contract and asking questions will save you a lot of heartache later. When you make a wedding appointment – keep your word. Be on time. And for goodness sake, please don’t stand anyone up.
Always bring an “Emergency Kit” to the wedding! Check our “Wedding Day Emergency Checklist.”
My Wedding Checklist is a treasure. It will help you to remember all of the details that you need to be aware of. Every bride should have a copy. It begins 2 years out. It’s a good idea to review this list and its important time tables. Click here to see it.
Be organized! Keep good records of all your appointments and be sure that if for some reason you cannot make the appointment or that you need to reschedule please give the vendor a courtsey call to let them know. Check back periodically, but don’t nag.
Indecisiveness doesn’t work. Waiting to the last minute often means that you may have to hire someone that is less qualified to do a “great” job. Sometimes – not always – but sometimes, if they are available at the last minute that may mean that they are not that busy or not that good. When you find a wedding vendor you really like. . . hire them! It has been my experience that most brides and grooms think that they have plenty of time to find the “right” vendor when in fact those of us who are full-time wedding professionals often book 6 months to a year and a half in advance.
When you book the wedding venue, remember to book the rehearsal too. I would guess that 9 out of 10 brides get so tied up in booking the wedding that they often forget about the rehearsal. If you are only having a maid of honor and best man and that’s the extent of your wedding party, you may not need a rehearsal.
Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! Stay in touch with your vendors – by phone or in person. Check your e-mail often. You may want to have a special e-mail that is used only for your wedding. I send a lot of e-mail reminders and find that sometimes it may take 2 days to a week before someone acknowledges the e-mail.
Plan your wedding so you and your partner can experience the excitement at the reception cocktail hour. Plan to take some of your photos “before” the wedding. Read: “The Bride and Groom’s Reveal Moment.”
If you plan to write some of your own vows – I call them “Personal Promises” – don’t wait until the last minute. When I first meet the bride and groom they are often excited about doing this but wait until the last minute to write them and will evently decide not to do it as time get short. This is an important part of the ceremony for you, your partner and your guests. It allows you the opportunity to share what you feel in your heart for your partner and to allow your guests to see your personal side. Some couples will add a little humor to spice things up a bit.
Are You a Bridezilla? Take this quiz from the Knot to find out. Bridezilla Quiz.
If you have a wedding Website or Blog, grab yourself a “Wedding Ticker” from The Knot to help you countdown to your wedding day. It’s a simple, stylish way to create your wedding countdown and help you stay on track.
When you are dealing with any professional relationship, that’s when you need to be firm and clear about your needs. If you do not state your requirements clearly from the beginning, you kind of have nobody but yourself to blame if the vendor fails to deliver. The vendor also needs to know that you know what you want and what you asked for. ~ Courtsey of “Manolo for the Brides“
BONUS Articles: Be a Cordial Bride: Top 5 Tips
Serving Her Majesty the Bride: To Be a Maid of Honor. . . or Not
Grooming the Groom! Staying on Track for the Big Day!
Five Proven Tips For Calming a Cranky Bride
Copyright © 2010 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 455 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: http://www.celebrateintimateweddings.com. Something NEW about weddings is posted every 4th day on this Wedding BLOG. Check Larry’s availability.
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