Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG

Monday, December 14, 2009

Grooming the Groom! Staying on Track for the Big Day!

Filed under: Groom's Duties,Wedding Tips — Larry James @ 8:00 am
Tags: ,

Alright, guys! Listen up!

When I talk to Brides in pre-wedding interviews, I heard women who seem overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for all of the details it takes to have a memorable wedding. It’s not just “her” wedding. It’s your wedding too! She needs your assistance! So. . . listen carefully.

You need to take an active interest in your wedding. Pitch in. Find out what you can do to help and don’t let your sweetheart bear all the responsibility. Put her on a pedestal. Let her be the center of attention. She deserves it. Never let her hear you say, “It doesn’t matter to me. Do whatever you want.” Your Bride will never fully understand why the wedding isn’t as big a deal to you as it is to her. Don’t bother trying to explain. This is the day to be her Prince Charming!

Roll up your sleeves and get busy. Wedding overload can be a real problem. Divide up jobs in advance – preferably, according to which parts you’re most interested in, then agree to run everything past each other before final decisions are made. Make it a joint venture. Attend the meetings with the minister, disc jockey, photographer, etc., as a team. You are in this together, so act like it.

Be romantic. You can do it. Leave a love note in her room on the morning of the wedding. Wake her up to her favorite song. Romantic surprises make the big day memorable. Be her personal chauffeur for a day of wedding errands. (P.S. Never stop being romantic. She will love you for it.) Send her mother flowers with a note telling her how happy you are to be marring her daughter. Take her father to lunch.

Pay attention to the details. Spit-shine your shoes. Gas the car. Several days before the wedding, get a haircut. Preparation is the key. Be ready for anything. No wedding is perfect. Today is the most stressful day of the Bride’s life. Roll with the punches and do what you can to keep your pretty lady from being stressed. Leave nothing to chance. Minimize the stress factor when the final countdown begins. Plan to do nothing the day of your wedding but get up, relax, have a light snack, then head to the venue to tie the knot.

It is the Groom’s responsibility to pay for the Bride’s bouquet. However, at the end of the evening the tradition is for her to throw it to the single women at the reception. A lovely touch might be to surprise her with another bouquet as your new wife in the honeymoon suite.

groomsmenHere is a list of the duties the groom typically handles:

• Marriage license
• Officiant’s fee & tip
Personal Promises or writing vows (if applicable) – Personal Promises Tutorial
• The bride’s wedding band
• The bride’s bouquet
• The bride’s gift
• The groom’s wedding day attire
• Gifts for the groomsmen, ushers and ring bearers
• Wedding day transportation
• The rehearsal dinner
• The honeymoon

Don’t wait until the week before your wedding to figure out what you’re going to wear. Short notice doesn’t work. Your formal wear should be purchased or reserved about 3 months before the wedding. Make sure you have decided beforehand if you will rent or purchase a suit and also find out which style will suit you best. Your formal wear should be purchased or reserved about 3 months before the wedding.

Send a detailed e-mail to your Groomsmen filling them in on the relevant details about the formal wear. Let them know when and where (include a map) to get fitted for their tuxes. Remind them to return the tuxes the day after the wedding to avoid annoying late fees. Keep your sweetheart in the e-mail loop to let her know that you’ve got everything under control.

It’s you and your family’s responsibility to organize the “Rehearsal Dinner.” Plan it carefully. Consult the Bride. Make room for a few surprises for the Bride. Plan ahead. Have flowers delivered to the restaurant prior to the dinner and have the waitress bring them out with a special “romantic” card for the Bride that you have signed and a couple of drinks for a toast. Choose your words carefully.

Be a buffer. If your mother is calling your fiancé every hour to talk about the wedding, you run the risk of major family conflict with you stuck in the middle. Your mission is to keep the peace. Call your mother and let her know that while you appreciate her interest, input and excitement, it’s your wedding and she needs to give you two some space.

The Best Man is a reflection of your judgment, your background and your character. Decide who is going to be your best man quickly, tell him what is expected and make sure he can honor his commitment. Make sure that you tell anyone who might be offended by your choice before word gets round. Make sure he has envelopes ready to present the gratuities to the minister, disc jockey, etc., at the wedding. Tip for superb service responsibly.

You probably paid for the open bar. However that is not a license to get blasted into next week. Tequila shots with your buddies are out. Drink responsibly.

Whatever you do, do not have your stag the night before the wedding. Better yet, skip this rite of passage and earn a few extra points with your Bride. If you must have a stag night, have it the weekend before the wedding and behave yourself.

You will be expected to say a few brief words at the reception. Keep them short and to the point. Say how happy you are to be marrying the “girl of your dreams,” say a few “thank yous” and sit down. It doesn’t have to long and flowery. Practice. Remember, practice does not make you perfect, it makes you better.

Next. . . live happily ever after!

heart ringCopyright © 2009 – Larry James. This idea is adapted from Larry’s Wedding Website. Larry James is a non-denominational minister and performs the most “Romantic” wedding ceremony you will find anywhere! Every wedding ceremony is customized to your complete satisfaction. Call to check availability: 480-998-9411 or 800-725-9223. You will find more than 445 pages of Wedding ideas, tips (90 tips and growing), ceremonies, and more at: Check Larry’s availability.

Subscribe to Larry’s FREE monthly “LoveNotes for Lovers” eZINE. Contact:, P.O. Box 12695, Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695. –

NOTE: All articles, “LoveNotes” and wedding tips listed in this Wedding BLOG are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own Website. Click here for details.

Add Larry James to your Facebook page:
Follow Larry’s “once daily” Relationship Tweet at:
Follow Larry’s “Relationship BLOG” at:
Follow Larry’s “Networking BLOG” at:



  1. […] cream, skin cleanser, cologne and other necessities. Show up. Bring the wedding ring. A few other reminders for the […]


    Pingback by Prepare a “Must Have” Wedding Day Emergency Kit | Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG — Wednesday, May 20, 2015 @ 3:35 pm | Reply

  2. […] The groom chooses his groomsmen and best man and picks their attire. He buys thank-you gifts for his attendants and for the bride. He arranges and pays for the marriage license and the officiant’s fee and gratuity, and he reserves a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests. For more complete list of the groom’s duties, click here! […]


    Pingback by Grooms… Listen up! | Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG — Sunday, September 14, 2014 @ 8:31 am | Reply

  3. […] BONUS Articles: Listen Up Guys! – Planning a Wedding is a Team Sport! Hey Guy! Getting Married? – Don’t Be Clueless! Here Comes the Groom! – A Call to ACTIVE Duty! Grooming the Groom! Staying on Track for the Big Day! […]


    Pingback by Brides Want Grooms to Be More Involved in Planning the Wedding! | Larry James' CelebrateIntimateWeddings BLOG — Saturday, November 30, 2013 @ 8:31 am | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: